The other night at FHE I was chatting with some girls in my ward..you know, the usual "why don't some of these guys ask girls on dates" talk and one of them said to me, "You tell it like it is! You need to sit down with all of the guys in this ward and tell them what is up."
*side note--Yesssss!!!! I must be moving away from the 'people pleas-er' that many of my close friends have told me I am on numerous occasions, and leaning a little more towards telling things like it is. I could attribute that to many different things: This blog, moving and living on my own, my new job.. the list goes on! yay for me and being more balanced!!
* *Side note number DOS:Anyone who knows me knows that I love trying to really understand people. When I make a new friend I want to learn as much as I can about them so I can understand why they are the way they are so I can really try to help them when they come to me for advice and so I really understand why they are doing the things that they do. Some people are easy to read and others take much more time to process and figure out. I guess I just love people in general and it fascinates me so much that each and every one of us is different in some way. I can't explain it, but it drives me nuts if I feel like I really don't get someone.
So after my friend said this to me it really got me thinking. Not that I would really sit down with a bunch of guys that I don't really know and tell them what to do based on my personal evaluations of their life (that would just be weird and I would have to be really rude to some of the guys and I just don't need that rep in the ward...) But it really made me sit and evaluate the "woe's of dating for the Single LDS Guy/Girl."
We've all heard it before. From the girls: "I just don't understand why no one asks me on dates. What is wrong with me? All boys are dumb!"... YADA YADA YADA....Or from the guys: "dating is hard! What if she says no? I don't stand a chance with her...." BLAH-BLAH-BLAHHHHHH!
It's exhausting.
Well, of course I'm already up on most of the ward gossip so I know who's dating who, who kind of likes each other and which guys don't date. So as I sat and evaluated the "studs" (these are the same group of guys who I may not really know but I've totally gained so much more respect for them because they are the same ones who religiously attend church activities like FHE and Institute) who I've noticed don't really date, I came to the conclusion that if I were to tell each of them one thing collectively as a whole it would be... "Listen...you are totally cute and fun and girls want to be asked out by cute and fun guys...so pull yourself together and GET WITH IT!"
There are even some special souls that I would classify as one of the "studs" but it doesn't matter, I would still give them that same advice directly to their face. Because we all know that for every Jack, there's a Jill and you aren't going to find her without doing a little work....Sure, you are bound to stumble and fall a few times but how are you supposed to find "the one" who loves you for you without putting forth a little effort? Plus I'm sure you'll have fun. Confidence boys, CONFIDENCE! :)
This goes for the girls too. You can't just sit around being unsocial and hating on all guys. So Brush that chip off your shoulder, do your hair, be yourself and remember that nobody likes a Frumpy Grumpy. So smile for CRYING out loud :) You aren't expected to be the one who does the asking at all but as long as you are being you, then that is really all that matters! I would hate for you to change who you are for anyone.
Oh and while I'm blabbing on and you are humoring me by reading this... there's one more thing: Dating is not all that matters--Do stuff for you! I don't know how many girls I've met where they measure their life's success on all of the guys they've dated or lack there of. That's lame and I truly feel sorry for those people.
To the singles who are reading this, I know not everyone falls in this category when it comes to dating. To the guys who ask girls out--Brava! To the girls who get asked out all the time--Applause! To the others: sorry if it sounds blunt. I'm not trying to be rude at all "I'm just telling it like it is" and saying that I don't want to hear complaints until you are doing all that you can and it's not working. If that's the case..well.. that's a completely different post that I would title "all in time." Just hang in there, K?!
Moral of the story is...Take a chance, get up and make it happen! (I'm sure you can tell that this is coming from someone who GIVES much more advice on dating and relationships than actually doing and could honestly really care less.. so take it for what it's worth.. I guess I'm just trying to light a fire in all of the beautiful people with downer outlooks on the topic at hand).
OK, I'm done now. Have a good night, my cool people :)
1 comment:
interesant
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