Wednesday's Witty Words from the Week.

"This is going to be a miserable job; Let’s get our buzz on."
-Snooki while on the job.
"I have my periodozo."
-Deena's excuse to her boss while drinking wine with Snooki in the bathroom at work.
hahahaha.  The best part of it all is that they paid someone at the restaurant to buy them the wine.  classic snooki.


"Sometimes life just sucks, LIZ."
-Amanda
She's right.  Sometimes things don't always go your way.  Sometimes you feel unwanted. *insert ugly cry here* And SOMETIMES you just don't want to be optimistic.  OK?


"How was I supposed to know who Steve Jobs is?"
-Easton, who could have been interviewed on channel 5 news to talk about how he felt about Steve Jobs' resignation as CEO but he didn't know who he was!!
uhhhh, hello!


"...We're old meat..."
-Amanda
What a sad truth.  But, listen.  Don't come running to us when you're bored with the delicious/tasty new meat!  CRAP.  You're right. old meat sucks. But if we were talking cheeses or wines, we'd be winning. so...take THAT!



Cole: "Have you ever tried beets?"
Me: "No."
Cole: "They're sweet!"
Me: "Really? They look disgusting!"
Cole: "The headphones?"
hahaha. So, I really thought he was talking about beets, like the food beets, not Beats by Dre.  um, yes I've tried them.  I used to be in love with this "Beats Boy" that I'd see everyday on campus and I loved him solely for his Beats...only because I never talked to the kid. haha. Pathetic.


"Can you touch the back of your "Hangy"?"
-Nieko
alright, so he's talking about the "hangy ball" in the back of your mouth.  The kid can touch his with his tounge. WTF, Right?! or maybe it's just me and Willy who can't do it? bahaha...oh Willy. I'll stop there.


"LOOK! There's your boyyyfriend!"
-Coworker, Amy referring to Ben Sherman Boy in passing at work.
Shut your mouth AMY! Sure, I spilled the beans to the coworkers when you got a boyfriend but that's just it, he was your REAL boyfriend not just someone you've blogged about once and talked to twice. embarrassing.. haha.


In a deep conversation with my sister about heaven and returning to a perfect state--
Jamie: "I'd rather be 19."
Me: "I'd rather be skinny..."
bahahahahaha. seriously one of the funniest conversations I've had with my sister (recently).  Dinosaurs, the creation, and other mind-blowing topics.  Really.  I was so distraught about things. Dad's Answer:  Just have Faith. haha. Thanks Dad :)


"If she still has a bedtime, she's too young for you, bro!!"
-Easton's clever, on-the-spot comment to a real life situation.
bahahahaha.  Atta boy, Easton!  I'm so proud that Jersey Shore has impacted your life so much.  Totally made my day :)


"Whoever becomes famous [out of us] first, makes the other one famous..that's the rule!"
-Alex.
I'm glad I have this pact with him.  The kid's going places; I just know it!


"The moment number 4 kissed me, I knew it was my boyfriend!"
-Vienna about Kasey during the Kissing Contest on Bachelor Pad.
You can't fool us Vienna.  You only knew it was him because of his NASTY breath!  Seriously, the other girls could barely kiss him and they all commented on how bad it was.  so sad but FUNNY!

"I deserve to be sucked up...to...yeaaa that didn't come out right." 
-Me trying to say that I think certain people should suck up to me.  The boys' reactions were funny too but I'll just leave it at that ;)
 I try not to post things that I say myself but this one was classic Jenn.  I just don't think before I say things sometimes. I won't excuse the fact that the comment in itself makes me sound stuck on myself a little but if you knew what we were talking about then you would agree, I think.

The VMA's. Always interesting...

I don't care what you say about MTV.  It's entertaining and I love it.  Especially the VMA's.  I think it has a lot to do with my love for celebrities, music and reality/what some of you would call "trash" TV.  But I don't think it's trash at all.  In fact, even though some of the people might be a titz trashy, I would still be their friend...*cough..SNOOKI*. I digress.


If you didn't catch the VMA's here's what you missed.


1.) Gaga's sick/convincing, night long performance in drag as "Jo Calderon."

Source: marquee.blogs.cnn.com via Alyssa on Pinterest

No Joke.  It wasn't just the "I'll announce one award/preform one song as a dude" kind of thing. nope.  It was the entire night long.  She talked as if Gaga wasn't present, smoked like a chimney, and carried around her [I mean "his"] drink of choice--a glass of Scotch.  Totally weird.  And I couldn't even stand the awkwardness when "he" gave the award to B.Spears. 


2.) Bieber's "Johnson."

Source: cdn02.cdn.thesuperficial.com via Jennifer on Pinterest

Haha. OK. JB, you made your point.  Your pet snake is named after man junk.  We get it. But really, you can't just post that on your Twitter or something for a good laugh?  Instead you have to walk the Black Carpet with it?  First the wangster earrings and now the glasses AND the snake? I love you but you are getting weirder by the minute.

Come back little JB!!!!! haha.

3.) Beyonce's Baby Bump




picture credit here

I seriously got so excited when she dropped the mic after one of her stellar performances and opened her blingin' blazer to announce to the world that she was having a baby Jayonce.  It was precious.  Her and Jay-Z both looked so excited! What a GENIUS way to announce it! Fab. 

4.) Adele.  Nuff said.

5.) Kevin Hart's joke/warning about STD's to everyone at the VMA's because and entire cast of Jersey Shore was present. 

ok, SO funny, right!? But did you notice that the Situation (who would most likely be voted as the King of STD's if we took a poll)was the only one not in attendance? According to his Twitter, he was stuck in Jersey because of all of the hurricane issues and couldn't make it...

If he wasn't such a fame whore I would view his absence at the VMA's, the same night they aired the embarrassing episode of him knocking himself out with the cement wall, as extremely curious.

If you didn't see that. omg.  Go watch it.

Thank you MTV for keeping us entertained :)

Mason's first trip to Utah.

I'm pretty new to the whole aunt thing and I don't know a lot about babies but I think I'm getting better at the whole thing after this weekend.   Having Mason here to visit was so much fun.  He's 9 weeks now and I can't believe how big he's gotten since he was born.  Let's just say, I honestly can't imagine loving a baby more than I do him but then again there will most likely (meaning there better be) more nieces and nephews down the road and I'm sure someday some little ones of my own or something but really, I have BIG love for this boy.

Sure, babies cry, take constant attention and always come first but I've realized (contrary to my former beliefs from my babysitting days, which, I loathed) that there are FAR more pros than cons when it comes to having a baby.  Aside from being so stinking precious and cuddly, making church more interesting and giving the arm muscles a nice work out..they really are just little miracles!

alright.. so I didn't have to change a poopy diaper and I could hand the kid over to his mommy if he was screaming too much so that might have added to the glamour of it all.. but you get my point; babies are just fun. But don't worry.. I didn't have SO much fun that I'm ready to have one of my own right NOW. haha.  Mason will just have to come visit more often so I can get my baby fix :)

Oh, and have a mentioned how good of a mom my sister is?  well--she rocks!  Here are some pics from their weekend visit:

Oh and a video.  Don't mind the baby talk voice.  It just happens.  I just want you to be able to hear him "talking" to Aunt Jenn.

gah. I miss him already.

Dear Confusing People of this World,

Could you please do me and everyone else in your life a favor and align your actions with your true feelings?  Good people get hurt by your indecision and asinie behaviors

....

 and it only makes me want to call you bad names. 

Thanks.

Without Love,

Jenn Figureoutwhatyouwantandstopleadingpeopleon Hansen

Guess who's coming tomorrow!?!?!

Guess who's coming to Utah this weekend to visit?!
 MASON!!!! 

Isn't he too cute?!

Mom, Jamie and Mason are taking a little trip to come stay with Cole and I in our little apartment for the weekend and I'm SUPER excited! I can't wait to hold him and give him lots of kisses and to hang out with the Mom and Sister. 

I talked to Mason on the phone the other day and between all the "cooing" and "grunting" he basically said he was excited to come and see me and that I was the best aunt ever:)  I plan on remaining the best aunt ever too...As long as he doesn't scream as much here as he does when I'm trying to talk to his mommy on the phone sometimes. J/k! I'll allow screaming for the weekend if it happens :)

YAY!

Wednesday's Witty Words from the Week.

"Poop really bad."
-Victoria's written answer during Loaded Questions.  Question: What should you never do in a public restroom?
poop really bad? bahahahhahaha I can think of so many different ways to write that answer but you chose, "poop really bad?" omg, V, omg!


"He actually speaks well English."
-Deena, Jersey Shore, in reference to her "Italian Lean Cuisine" man.
hahahahaha.  Nope. No shocker there.


"Liz--You look like PP long stocking."
-Willy's response to Liz's braided pigtails.
whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold up. Let's just say that you didn't just tell her she resembled someone with a name that is slang for one's genitalia... do you really think she looked like THIS!?

rude. hahahaha.

"She wanted me to kiss everyone!"
-Easton, AKA Eenie Weenie.
It's true. I did want him to kiss everyone during our Scavenger hunt. Hello, let's make things more interesting, people! It's the last day of summer for crying out loud haha.

"You are such an open book right now"
-Nieko to me after watching the movie "one day." 

 Yes, I was emotionally drained but that doesn't mean you know EVERYTHING.  ok, he gives me a run for my money at figuring people out...but still.

"I can't trust Melissa farther than I can throw her.  And even though she's really tiny..that's not very far."

-"Princess" Erika, Bachelor Pad

I'm sorry, but anyone who wears a tiara everywhere they go and adds "Princess" to the beginning of their name is straight-up CRAZY.  I wouldn't trust her or her "lips she gets injections in every 6 months." puh-lease!

"Get your hands out of your mouth!"

-Willy's demand to Heather as he hovered over her trying to prepare her for a sucker kiss.
omg. so so so so freakin funny. My side was hurting from laughing so hard because of all the awkwardness.

 *Blush*x100,000,000
-Ok, so it's not a quote but Liz's blushing this past week was without a doubt some of the funniest moments
I won't post the things that made her blush, because 1. it's probably not appropriate and 2. I think she asked me not too? I can't remember.  Oh, Elizabeth...you heart breaker! hahaha j/k

"You're right.  You always are."

-Friend, Alex while talking about his life choices. 

Why do my friends think I'm always right?  Oh wait, it's just because I'm only telling them the things that they already know.  Sometimes we just need a little reassurance.

"For the Love of Betsy!!!" x2

-Easton

I think he was combining the two sayings, "For the Love" and "Heaven's to Betsy..." Idk?!?  If you only knew what he was saying it about and could hear the way that he said it both times within 5 minutes, you'd be laughing too.  It was almost like he busted out a british accent. idk.  I had to stop mid-convo to gain composure! Let's just say the kid is hilarious when he's passionate about something. nuff said.

"Gossip keeps me alive!"

-Hyrum during our gossip sesh on fbook that was long overdue.

we could gossip for hours.  seriously.  ahhhh, I totally miss his face! 

...ok, clearly I interact with more guys than girls.  awesome.

 Oh, and Congrats to Heather for not making it on here for a third week in a row with a rude comment to Willy that has something do to with the color of his skin.  Woot, YEAH! :) haha. jk.

Ben Sherman Boy

So there's this boy.  No. Scratch that.  There's this man.  I mean, guy? Guy/man? ...Whichever.  He's beyond trendy and pretty much looks like he stepped right out of a Ben Sherman catalog every time I see him.

Let me just give you a taste of what he looks like everyday.

*Note* the guy pictured below is not the guy I'm talking about, even though it's pretty close.  This is Simon.  You can find other pictures of him in different styles on the Ben Sherman Website---------->Here!

Source: bensherman.com via Jennifer on Pinterest

I'm not even joking when I say that this guy dresses just like Simon. 
BE STILL MY HEART!

 Here's the problem, though.  I've only talked to him once aside from awkward stares, smirks and the notorious "Oh, Heyy" comments at the printer...and I see him almost every day! [embarrassing].  I'll admit that I do appreciate the fact that my desk has a clear view of the printer just because I can secretly peek around the corner for a looksie to analyze what he is wearing. ridic, I know.  I just like well-dressed men.  Sue me. 

Why don't I talk to him more? It might have something to do with the fact that he's so good looking and his style is so slammin' that I know if I open my mouth it will most likely come out like word vomit. *Ew.  Even more embarrassing.*

Please tell me I'm not alone in this and that you have a Jcrew boy, Dreads girl, Jamba Juice Hottie, Bagel Boy, Zumiez Guy, or Front Row of Business Class Babe or something!?!  One that you see all the time but for some reason can't talk too even though you are good at talking to everyone else!?!? Just admit it so I will feel better. 

It happens. Beautiful people happen. haha

Goal--Choke down the word vomit, strike up a conversation, and just make friends with the Ben Sherman Boy...or whoever it is in your life ;)

Oh, and when you're done, share the story with me!

Cheers (and jeers) to the Freakin' Weekend

Did I mention that I love Fridays?! Especially when the coworker brings in Bagels from Einsteins. Mmm. I melt. Well, first I really think about the consequences of eating it and THEN I melt.

Well, here some "cheers" and "jeers" to send you into the weekend
1-Cheer. I'm seeing this movie tonight with some of the crew:

Source: imdb.com via Raquel on Pinterest

I can't wait!  I love, love.  And it. looks. fab.

2.) So this has nothing to do with a cheer for the weekend, but it's basically the weekend and I'm making an announcement so... cheers to this:  See the picture below. 

Source: google.com via Lydia on Pinterest

Yes. New York FREAKIN City, people :) and I'm goingggggg!!!

Ok, it was seriously the quickest trip that involves flying that I've ever booked...and It's still a month and a half away.  It went something like this, "Let's go to New York." and today..."oh wow, we're really going to NYC!!" It was so fast but I'm so excited to go since I've never been.  Many thanks in advance to Nieko for showing us around his "favorite city" on October 6-9!


Anndddd. I get to go during my most favorite season of all--Fall, which, makes me 10 times more excited to go:)

Source: farm6.static.flickr.com via nolitawanders on Pinterest

3.) Here's a Jeer.  Not that it will effect my weekend [hopefully] but when I found this pic last night on Pinterest I was beyond freaking out:

Source: snopes.com via Jennifer on Pinterest

Don't worry.  I googled it for like 15 minutes and this "German Giant" breed of rabbits is legit real. WTH!? It seriously gives me a whole new perspective on the Easter Bunny.

My thoughts on the topic: (to be read super fast because that is how things go through my head.. fast!) I don't want my kids to ever think that something like THAT is leaving them candy and gifts.  It's weird and creepy.  Whatever happened to the cute little bunnies?  Or chickens? What about chickens? I mean, we all know that the cadbury eggs and the reese's eggs are the best Easter candies anyways.  Yes, EGGS! Not candy in the shapes of little naked rats (have you seen what newborn bunnies look like?..sick!) So why a creepy GIANT rabbit that leaves eggs for children?  It just screams THIEF and KIDNAPPER (or eggknapper.. you get the point) I guess I just think it should just be a little chicken that is leaving eggs instead--it's less frightening and it makes since.  But I guess I can't raise my kids thinking that it's an Easter Chicken instead of an Easter Bunny.  They'd get super confused and kids totally get pushed down on the playground for crap like that.  

Ok, obviously, I'm just distraught over the whole thing... My mind was just blown by the pic above.  Look at those feet!!! *chills. I suppose I will just keep believing that a semi-cartoon version of the EB is the real thing and that he's just super nice and brings us candy in the shape of eggs from his chicken friends who generously donated them.  That way I can at least sleep at night!

omg. I just re-read that and thought , "I'm so dumb."  haha. But I'll leave it and just wrap it up with hopes that everyone enjoys their weekend.  Especially since it's the last weekend of the summer for some of you who are starting school....barf... Just do something fun.  Plan a trip. See a movie. Run around. Get crazy.  You could even come help me bake cookies on Saturday for the Ward Linger Longer ;) haha. Just make it count.

"Cheers to the Freakin Weekend" [and to me not having to start school!]
Heck.  "I'll drink to that... yeaaah yeaaahhhhh!"
Drink of course? ..Water on the Rocks :)

Wednesday's Witty Words from the Week.

"I'm really proud of myself for not falling last night.."
-Deena, Jersey Shore
The funny thing is that she probably wasn't even embarrassed after watching herself in this episode when it aired...even though she fell down at least 4 times!

"Everyone wants some when Jenn holds it..."
-Nieko, referring to the Jiffy Pop.
The kid loves his Jiffy Pop. But who doesn't? Sooo good!

"I wanted to barf and I laughed out loud when Kasey made his tattoo beat"
-Friend, Savanna during our Bachelor Pad recap.
hahah. amen sister. 


"Just listen to Jenn and do what she says; It will work."
-Easton
Ahhh, that is so nice, pal :) ..For the record though, I'm not always right! haha.

"These are like weird strawberries. Are these good like this?"
"Yeah those are, like, raspberries."
-Sammi and Deena, Jersey Shore.
Really, Sammi?  I'm pretty sure raspberries are the same in Italy as they are in America. And why didn't Deena make fun of her for that super dumb comment?  I would have been peeing my pants laughing.

"This is the car of trust, joking and weirdness.."
"You should write a book--Nieko and Jenn's Guide to Dating and Life."
-Easton's younger brother, Ryan
Listen--the car of trust works and if we did write a book, it would be dang good, slightly inappropriate, and you'd probably buy it!

"Where's the Pearl of Great Price?"....."Wait, so what is the book of Abraham a part of?"...."OHHH, that makes since. I thought it was weird that the Pearl of Great Price would only be one page."
-Excerpts from my convo with a 29 year old, pretty, ditsy blond girl in my singles ward during Sunday School.  Name: Unknown.  IQ: Possibly the same as the number of pages in the POGP...
omg.

"Liz? Do you consider Marijuana to be a real drug?"
"Liz? Do you prefer Chicken or Beef?"
"Liz?"....
"Liz?"......
-Only a couple of Nieko's super random questions to Liz during our movie last night.
The chicken or beef question had me dying...  He's pro at being random.

"You can't have that." *insert super serious face, no laughter*
-Heather to Willy after previously telling him he could eat her leftover Red Robin wrap.
Picking on Willy again, Heather?  what's new.  hahhaha.  j/k Heather :):):)

"HAHAHAILOVEFJDKLASfGJKAJKAJDAJKLVJVCDHAHAHAHA"

-Amanda talking about a part of the movie she thought was funny.
"umm. I have no clue what you just said." bahahaha. The girl gets SUPER excited. So funny.

Even the issue-solvers have issues of their own

Today at work I participated in a training that was all about Relationship Trust [hence the super late lunch break].  In the training we talked about lots of great things.  Trusting yourself, trusting others, many different kinds of trust, how to gain it and how to balance it. 

One of the things we briefly talked about was "confronting reality."  This isn't always the easiest thing to do; to be honest about where you really stand and what is really going on in your life. 

A friend said something to me recently that got me thinking.  My response, yet honest, made me feel extremely weak.  This really bugged me; I am not a weak person.  So, in hopes to prove to myself that I wasn't weak, I spent the last two days really reflecting on my response from the weekend and trying to really resolve the issue(s) I'd been putting off for so long.

Today during the trust seminar was the "AHA" moment.  The moment I decided that I'm ready to confront reality.  It's been long past due.  I thought that I had been protecting myself by my actions all this time but in all actuality I was only hurting myself by not letting myself progress. I guess I just didn't have enough trust in myself that I would ever get over it and be "OK."

After the last couple of days I can now say that I really know where I stand with certain things in my life. I know what I'm capable of and I, without a doubt, know what I deserve.  I'm done protecting myself from the chance of being hurt or failing and I'm truly over those things that I've needed to be over.  Sure, my realization doesn't just make it all go away but I'm in a good place with it all and that's HUGE! I now know what I need to do.[Take that Reality!]

The reality of it is that there are so many things that will happen in our lives that we won't want to face.  We'll want to push it under the rug because it's easier and say, "I just need more time" or "not now, I'm not ready" or "oh, it's not a big deal."  But sometimes, if we're not careful, that can turn into years of a negative attitude and many wasted opportunites and realtionships. 

Don't let that happen, people!  Confront it.  No more excuses.

Trust yourself :)

Oh, and if this doesn't apply to your life right now--Brava! Thanks for the vent-sesh.

Dear Ames

Dear Ames,

In my opinion, you are proably one of the most awkward contestants to ever come on any of the "Bachelor" series.  But when you chased after the Limo for your recent love, Jackie, and left behind the chance to win $250,000....sigh...

You won my recently not-so-romantic heart.

Source: twirlit.com via Jennifer on Pinterest

  Thank you for that. xoxo

Love,

Jenn Iknowit'sarealityshowbutIstillcan'tgetoverhowcuteitwasandhowmuchilovelove Hansen

Truth or Truth? umm. I pick Truth :)

Here's the thing about honesty: some people just don't get it.


Even though we are taught from the time we're itty-bitty to be honest and to tell the truth [especially to people we care about] we, as humans, continue to be dishonest in so many different things. 


What's the point?


There are times when I think a little fib-let is OK if it's going to help lift someone's spirit and when it comes down to something that the other person has no control over.  But I'm not talking about that kind.  I'm mostly directing this towards those who deliberately lie to people's faces about stupid things that the other person most likely wouldn't care about in the first place.  Do we think that we're protecting ourselves and other's feelings when we do? You might think that at the time but NEWSFLASH, the truth usually tends to come out in some way.  Especially when it's about things that are so ridiculous.  People talk, stories aren't kept straight, and people aren't as stupid as you think they are. So why not save yourself and be up front with people to begin with?

Source: google.com via Bouchra on Pinterest

Clear, plainspoken, simple and unpretentious. Sounds like the formula for less drama to me.


Sure, we all do our fair share of CTT (Crap Talk Therapy) but I'm not saying you have to go up to every person that you've ever talked crap about be like, "yo, you're dumb and I think this and this about you..blah, blah blah, yada, yada, yada."  That would be honest but it would be total chaos!  [Unless they ask for it, then by all means, tell them.  Especially if it's going to help!] I'm just simply talking about making our lives a bit easier and not lying to people's faces when we have the chance to be honest with them especially when it comes down to the small things.  If someone asks you a question about whatever it is--Tell them what you think.  Be simple, be clear.  Honesty and kindness can coincide.  So just figure out a nice way to say it. [To those I've ever offended with my honesty, I publicly apologize for not finding a kinder way to say it.  Just know that I love you and just want to help. :)]


 At the end of the day I'd rather know your true opinion, what you think about me, what you did or what you didn't do or if you don't want me around. I promise I would shake it off and get over it 10 times faster than a lie/fib or whatever the heck you want to call it to make it sound better than it really is. I think most people would.

Gaining trust back is way harder than coming up with a lie and keeping the story straight. I'm sure we've all been there.  So next time you think about being dishonest to someone, whether you think it's harmless or not... just don't.  It's not worth it and it makes you look SUPER dumb.


So goal for the week: No BS. 
OK? OK.

Texting--An Over Analyzer's Nightmare.

Have you ever had one of these moments?

I'm talking about the moments where you over analyze EVERYTHING in your life especially when it comes to relationships and dating. To the male readers who just thought, "wow. Girls are crazy.." I point my virtual finger at you and call you out right now. Yes, girls are crazy and in general are the worst when it comes to this topic but you don't fool me. Take it from a girl who's talent is to quickly become one of the "guys." I know how you work, k?

It's one thing to over analyze a situation when you are having true face to face interaction with a krinkle, crush, friend, ex, enemy or whoever it might be....but texting? Texting is an over analyzer's nightmare when it comes to relationships. In fact, I believe that texting has increased over analyzing in the entire world by at least 75 percent [yes I just made up a statistic but, you get my point.]

 Here's what I mean.

Why I Believe TEXTING is the Worst Source When it Comes to Relationships:

Reason 1:

Some people are simply being nice when they text.

Guy texts girl "friend" all of the time to talk about random nothingness because he's interested in said girl. Girl [who is known to over use the smiley face] isn't interested but always responds simply because they are friends and she's nice.  Guy believes girl is interested because 1-they text a lot more than normal "friends" do [even though he usually starts the convo] and 2-all of those dang smiley faces!..."She must like me, right?"

uhh.. maybe so, maybe not.

Reason 2:

Some people don't show any emotion via text.

I've blogged about this before and how it's super confusing.  This would be someone who never does smiley faces, exclamation points, "haha's" or is even known to send one word texts like "no" and "yes" (one of my pet peeves).  This is where over analyzing of the textee kicks in.  "I think they're mad at me." "What did I do wrong?" "I thought he liked me." "Oh crap! I just ruined my chances there..."

You can sit there and analyze the lack of emotion in the text but it still could go either way.  Maybe it does mean they aren't interested OR maybe that's just how they text. Or maybe you really did do something to tick them off. How could you even know?

Reason 3:

It's easy to say anything over text.

You can tell someone you have feelings for them [even if you don't really, kind of sort of do], that you hate them and even gossip and spread rumors so much easier over text.  It's like the stomping ground for confessions, I swear.  I'm amazed at how much more comfortable some people are at saying whatever they want over text or even on facebook but when it comes to human interaction it's basically like talking to dry wall. "um. hello? when did you get so borrring?!"

Reason 4:

You can think before you type.

How many times have you sat and thought for a long time about the exact way to say something so that the other person will think of you in a certain way? It totally encourages posers and fakers!  So you think they say all the right things over text? Um...newsflash..He might not be that clever, witty, funny or romantic and she might not be as good, perfect and glamorous and she seems. 

I could go on, but I won't. I will wrap it up before you think I have mad trust issues. haha

Even though I appreciate texting for multiple reasons, I'm just saying that you shouldn't base any kind of relationship "status" or someone's feelings off texting.  You don't always know if they are telling the truth, being sarcastic, trying to be funny, or sincere.  Instead, you can sit there and analyze the text until you come up with your brain's analysis of how the other person feels.

It's just not accurate. You feel me, dog?

I'll let you in on a little secret.  Human interaction is way more fun and, if you are a good people reader, like me, you don't have to over analyze as much because you already know what is up!

So go ahead and text away.  Text like you normally do.  Text a lot, I don't care. But don't decide how someone else feels based only on a text.  If you're confused about something--call them or meet up and talk it out or.... if it's that hard for you to do, just get a friend to do it for you. haha. That works too.  At least you'd know the truth about what the other person is thinking and you can stop worrying about it.

 

p.s-if you don't believe me.  The word "texting" didn't even come up on my blogger spell check. But "talking" does.  coincidence? maybe. But I'll take it as a sign. ;)

TGIF

Jersey Shore By the Numbers--Stats

Source: blurppy.wordpress.com via Savanna on Pinterest

Wednesday's Witty Words from the Week.

I've decided to bring back the segment of posts where I jot down some of the funny/ridiculous/great things that were said to me or that I heard over the 7 days (the ones I can remember at least and that are appropriate.)  I basically just want to log as many things as I can remember because: 1-my memory sucks these days and 2-all the people in my life..even the ones who live far away [and the random reality TV stars who I feel are a part of my life..haha] are just fab.

So here you go:

"All I know is she needs to stop wearing pants without butt pockets..."
-Brother, Coleman in reference to Kristin on season one of Laguna Beach
[haha. So true. Kristin didn't even make those look good in 2005.]

"I am down a can of bronzer.  I only have about 8 cans left and in my world that’ll last about 10 days." -JWoww on JS Season 4 Premier

"...Slaves to the Vagina"
-anonymous source, secret reference
[BAHAHAHA?!?]

 "These pigeons are ruthless in Italy. They will attack you and they will bite your ears off. I feel like they just don’t like you and they just wanna eat your food."
-Snooki on last Thursday's JS season 4 premier

"...He lives by the DUMP!"
-Friend, Heather in regards to Willy's home. 
[oh how I wish I would have been in her car to hear her say this for reals... but the story of it through everyone else was beyond hilarious.]


 "Just put on some lipstick; You'll feel better."
-Coworker, Wendy in reference to my grumpy attitude about not showering that morning.
[Like I EVER wear lipstick and like that solves my crappy tude and my greasy hair situation. haha. sick.]

"The deed is done ;)"
-A funny text.

"Mafjdaklfjakfnkxlvrsopfsp. "
-Krazy Kasey to Vienna on the Bachelor Pad 2 premier.
[Am I the only one who thinks that joker needs subtitles for everything he says? just saying...]

Dear South Weber Police

Dear South Weber Police,

I know I was speeding but give me a break.

And I'm not talking about a Kit Kat Bar. 
Actually.  I'll take a Kit Kat with my ticket, please.

Love,

Jenn Igrewupinthecountrywhereyoudriveatleast50mphoneveryroad Hansen

Being afraid of bathrooms in general is a rational fear.

It's been decided that I am a bit jumpy these days.  I'm not sure what started it but it's the sad truth.  I might be rounding down when I say that the boys have scared me 5 times last two nights on our trips to the infamous "skate shop."  Sure--it has ramps, and foam pit material but I saw it as more of a decked out crash pad for the homeless of Ogden.  Not kidding. 





This is the actual skate shop.  I  found this pic online and it's "pre-foam pit."
So it looks a bit different now, but this is basically it..


Saturday night was creepy.  The idea of the skate shop was new, doors that shouldn't be moving were moving, and there were sounds--suspicious sounds.  Maybe the shopping cart at the back entrance of the building threw me for a loop and automatically made me assume that homeless people call the skate shop their home.  I'm not sure what it was.  Even after we had more people with us the second night and I had decided that it was a pretty sweet spot and thought I had gotten over the creepy feeling, I still managed to get scared.  No.  Scratch that. Terrified.

I'm already creeped out of the dark so throw in a creepy hallway and an equally creepy Men's bathroom and you have yourself a scene for a horror film. 

"NO WAY my friends would pull a prank on me while I'm peeing after I was already frightened to go into the bathroom. No wayy!"  WRONG.

One of them [he who shall not be named]decided to turn off the lights to the freaky bathroom, mid stream.  Who does that?!   Am I the only one who saw the creepy bathroom scene in Halloween H20?  Am I the only one who remembers THIS?:

My thoughts were immediately flooded with all of the bad things that could happen in a bathroom. Every crazy person from every scary movie standing behind me with a knife or something.  A homeless man kicking down the door and charging. "IT" the Clown standing in the corner.. [OMG, the bathroom scene from that Movie scarred me for life, I swear.] I mean it, our thoughts are trippy and can get out of hand sometimes within a matter of seconds.


So come on people.  Of course I'm going to scream bloody murder and have a not-so-mini freak out where I am on the verge of tears and have to do everything in my power to keep from junk punching someone right up in their bidness while slowing down my heart rate.  I freaked.  I admit it.

So note to my "friends"--Being afraid of bathrooms in general is a rational fear.  I don't care where you are. I've been known to get creeped in church bathrooms too.  So, listen and you listen good. DON'T turn out the lights while I'm in there by myself? ok? ok.

Jersey Shore--Getting into Character.

When we decided that we were going to have an Italy party for last night's season 4  premier of  the Jersey Shore....I, of course, took my party planning seriously even though I knew that most of my friends didn't really care about the show itself (so they say...secretly I know that they are obsessed now)  So I got a whole mess of pizza and even semi-decked out my dining area with some Italy pride!

Everyone showed up a little late but when my boys walked into my apartment for the party I was DYING!  They decided to keep it a secret that they were dressing up for the occasion.  Let's just say, they made my night and I forgot about the fact that they were late.  It was like we had our own little white (minus willy) version of the Jersey Shore right there in my apartment.





Nieko--AKA: DJ Pauly D, Willy--AKA: The Situation, Easton--AKA: Ronnie
(Obviously BEFORE T Shirt Time!)

 BAHAHA.  See why I love them?! omg. Easton even dyed his hair and dang, E...Lookin' Good :)

I was so busy getting stuff ready for the party that I hadn't gotten to do my snooki poof when the boys arrived.  The boys weren't having that.  They followed me into the bathroom and gave me pointers on how to do "the poof" based on what they had seen on the show.  Then we kind of stood there looking at ourselves in the mirror for a sec just like they do before going out to da club. haha.  No joke.   I think we were getting WAY to into character...

See for yourself:


The Situation, Snooki, Ronnie, Pauly D



Don't worry...He's not really touching my "no-no square." in fact...he's pretty far away!  haha. Like I said, we were just really in character..

It's never a dull moment with these boys :)

Here's a a recap from last night's episode so if you haven't watched it yet--stop reading:

1-I still love Jersey Shore

2-I'm still obsessed with Pauly D. 

3-The Situation's hair in season 4 is disgusting!

4-I love Single Ronnie.

5- Snooki and the Situation, say whaaaat?

6- Even though Deena and Pauly's little make out at the end was siiick.. I soooo would kiss that man. no joke!

7-JWoww? GTF.. Gym. Tan. Find out why Jenni did that to her freaking face!

HAPPY FRIDAY, GUIDOS and GUIDETTES :)