Wednesday's Witty Words of the Week

"I don't like wiping for that reason. It takes so lonnnngg!"
-Easton
Oh, this conversation and how it did not have to happen!  I could have gone throughout my entire life without knowing about things in weird places and issues with "wiping." Ew. hahahaha. no offense, Easton :)

Black Haired Liz

"You're not rude, you're just honest."
-Sam
I got this a couple of times from him this week followed by hysterical laughter.  Um, doesn't that make it rude even though it's the truth? haha. whatev.


FBook Relationship Statuses

"She said she's even uglier in real life!"
-Nieko
haha. mom's are funny. yes, we even judge the ladies on the real estate signs...

The Orphan


"Your sister has done a CRAP load of family history!"
-Girl during her talk at stake conference
"uh, are you allowed to say crap at the pulpit?" yep. that would be my visiting teaching partner. This would also be the same girl would made the blog last week with her "blood bag" comment.  She did a great job on her talk but there are just some things that shouldn't be said at the pulpit.  Crap being one of them.  Not that it's a bad word or anything, it's just hard to concentrate after something like that is thrown in.

Can help it-call outs

"Are you the devil?" -Coworker Amy to a little trick-or-treater
"No. I'm Darth Maul." -very disappointed trick-or-treater in legit costume
hahahaha.  He was so proud of his Darth Maul costume. Come on AMY, get it right! haha

Exiting early

"To be honest, I didn't hear a word she said."
-Sam
Of course he didn't. He was too distracted by the two girls dressed in slut "costumes" at the little walmart. Dear Male, thanks for making us have to go all the way back to get our bag of Starbursts that you left and for making us lose even more faith in men and all their shallowness. Perv. :)

Kim K Wedding [Woe's]

"You should get on and write Ellen and nominate me for the biggest Twilight fan so I can meet the cast." -Mom
"hahaha. Why me?" -Me
"Because you're funny and she'd like it." -mom
Did I do it for her? Absolutely. Did I share the funniest/most embarrassing stories about mom and twilight? You better believe it. haha. Even funnier--I didn't make anything up or stretch the truth.  Oh, I love my mom.