Wednesday's Witty Words of the Week

Yeah, yeah.  It's Wednesday. I know.  I suck!  But, listen.  Last week was crazy busy and this week hasn't been any different soo... LEZBEHONEST...  I didn't go home and archive all of the funny/ridiculous things said in the last week.  So here are just a few:

"I can't hear you. Your jeans are too tight." 
Pauly D to Vinny
hahaha. Remember how much I love Pauly? yeah. It's true.

"You look drunk right now."
-Coleman to me at the fair before he proceeded to tell me why:
1.) My loud laugh,
 2.) the random yelling
3.) My occasional stumbling
 4.) ..The fact that I was holding on to Willy.
Basically he must think I'm a perma-drunk because I always do all of those things! ...haha. RUDE.

"Some guy gave me tons of ones($)..."
**Insert super weird smirk from the guy
"Oh my gosh... NOT LIKE THAT!"
-Me to the guy in the lemon shaped Lemonade Stand at the fair.
haha. I totally set myself up for that one! Pretty sure he thought I was crazy.. or drunk? Apparently, I get that a lot?

"I pictured a person without arms and legs with a little homemade tail attached to them..."
-Amanda in reference to what she pictured the "Snake Girl" at the fair would look like.
You're right Amanda--that would be more awkward than what it really was! hahaha can you imagine?!

"You should be a rabbit coming out of a hat!!!"
-Jamie's idea of what I should be for Halloween.
omg.  If you could only hear her explaining the costume she made up in her head and how freaking excited she was about it.  SOO funny.  I won't even tell you because, although I won't do it, it's a pretty funny/completely random idea and I really like it! haha.

Me: "What did you say?"
Mom: "A-A-R-P!"
Me: "..Isn't that for old people?"
Mom (while hysterically laughing): "Yeah, but I got movie tickets for 5 dollars and I get 20% off at Denny's."
bahahaha. My mom seriously CRACKS me up.  no joke.

"I'm not going to pretend everything's cheese and daisies." 
-Jenni AKA JWoww in reference to Snooki and Jionni's relationship.
hahahaha.  What the, most random two things ever combined for this statement? Sure, I guess cheese and daisies are both good things, I suppose?  omg. she's funny.

"I'm SORRY! I thought I was going to break my car..." -Me
"Well you almost broke your mouth!!!"
-Amy's response to the accidental swear word that came out of my mouth when I realized still had my parking break on...
hahahaha. Thank you Amy for making me feel really bad about myself.  You really are a good soul ;)

Happy 6 Months!

Yesterday after work I was jogging/(let's be honest) brisk walking and I found myself a little confused by the fact that I didn't have any thoughts in my head. Zero other than the thought that I somehow didn't have any other thoughts.  I wasn't worrying, over analyzing or making anything seem bigger than it really was.  It was so...peaceful!


This, of course, made me remember...Olivia, my crazy alter ego I introduced to my blog just for fun at the beginning of the year, and how nice it was to finally have her almost completely under control.  If you haven't been a reader for a long time, then you most likely don't know of her. 


It might surprise you, but {olivia} used to over analyze and worry about EVERYTHING.  This about sums her up:

Source: designersgotoheaven.com via Paul on Pinterest

You know what I'm talking about.  The kind of person who thinks, and thinks, and thinks until they finally get to the point where they feel like they are going to explode or they make up things that usually aren't even true and set themselves up for failure because they are so negative about a situation or have zero faith in themselves? I could go on and on but we'll just call it, "Self Destructive."

It was no bueno. Until one day, my brain got tired and I realized that I was the only one in control of my thoughts and that speaking my mind and asking people the right questions (communication) was the best and only way to put my mind at ease about whatever I was going through.

Que Sera, Sera!  

I just learned to take it easy and that there was just no sense in worrying about things that were out of my control..

Sure, I have a few itty-bitty Olivia moments every now and again--I'm not perfect and I can't help my little OCD moments. But she's pretty much a thing of the past.

Thanks to my awesome blog, I know that almost 6 months ago, March 18th to be exact, was the last time I posted any kind of Olivia encounter and the time I decided to take control.  6 MONTHS!! Want to know what else was blogged about on that exact same post??  ...The first time I hung out with who I didn't know at the time would become a fantastic group of friends here! 


I guess I can celebrate two great things this week:

Happy 6 Month "Death" to Olivia 

and 

Happy 6 months knowing my Utah Homies!

 :)

Snake Girl? omg. THAT just happened!

You usually can't go to the fair with out two things--Greasy food and at LEAST one "WTF" moment.  We experienced both at the Utah State Fair this weekend.

I told all of my friends that one year at the Western Idaho Fair I paid 50 cents to see the world's largest pig.  No joke.  They had it set up like a freak show.  Of course,  I paid the money to see the pig.  It.was.huuuuge!!!

So, what do you think Nieko and I did when we saw these signs?

"Uhh.. I think I'm going to have to pay to see this one."  -Nieko


And so we did.  Everyone else went to go on some rides and we paid the money to see the "ANGEL SNAKE GIRL." How could we not? The man on the loud speaker had such a good story about how it was "the head of a beautiful woman and the body of an ugly snake."  We had to see it! (Oh, and don't worry that the price was some how pumped up to $1 when we stepped up to pay.  Dang Con-artist Carney. He was good at his job.)


I really wish we would have video recorded our experience.  I don't really know what we expected to see but I know we were both a little hesitant to look over the rail.  We didn't even step up the little steps.  We just quickly peeked over at "IT," looked at each other without saying anything and quickly walked away busting up laughing for about 5 minutes straight.


BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Seriously so funny.


It wasn't real.  Of course.  I'm not sure what I thought it would be, honestly.  But I was so embarrassed when we peeked over to see a women who had her head peeking through a hole in the large table that had a large FAKE snake wrapped around to appear as though it was "THE HEAD OF A BEAUTIFUL WOMEN AND THE BODY OF AN UGLY SNAKE." WTF?!  


I know I only looked at her for like, less than 5 seconds before I got so embarrassed and walked away, but she wasn't even beautiful.  She just looked at us and even told us to have a good night.  WEIRD. So Weird.  BEYOND weird. haha. I can't even do justice on this blog as to how I felt at that moment.  WTF moment for sure.


After Nieko and I contained ourselves, we walked over and convinced the others in our group that it was real and that they had to just go and experience it for themselves.  We just really want them to feel as dumb as we felt. haha.

All in all it was a great night at the fair.  It was the first time going with people who acted like the smell of the animal barns was the worst thing on the planet...  If only they knew what the "Stink Room" at Rocky Mountain Fireworks and Fur smells like. hahah. They would D-I-E!


The rest of the weekend was good too...


I successfully prepared my talk that I gave in sacrament meeting today.  
Had time to run some much needed errands. 
Played tennis ({N} and I worked on our accuracy by attempting to hit each other with the ball every time we missed something we should have hit.  I think it helped:)) 
Got Tased.  Like from a real tazer. yeah...My friends are special souls.


Oh, and as I type...I'm doing a practice run baking my first loaf of real homemade bread in preparation for my linger longer next week. And I kind of enjoy it.  OMG. WHO AM I?!

Romeo+Juliet

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet."

Source: None via Hayli on Pinterest

Leo DiCap... I love thee.
ahhhhh love.

Wednesday's Witty Words of the Week

After 4 successful weeks of doing this segment, this is the one week where you can go ahead and say that I'm an epic fail and it won't make me feel bad.  I'm sorry.  I'm just going to blame it on the fact that there wasn't a new episode of Jersey Shore on Thursday ;)

Trust me, there were plenty of funny moments this week but as I sat down this morning to recap all of the things that were said that made me laugh (and I mean REALLY laugh) I realized that all of them were either super inappropriate, rude, or that the person who said them might get embarrassed if I posted it...

With that said I will post a few of the quotes and mix in some of the funny topics from the week {in purple}.  Gotta keep it G folks :)

"Pull out her ovaries.."
-Easton
ok. I've heard "punch her in the ovaries..but "pull them out?"  Imagine me hearing this while talking to him on the phone.  I couldn't stop laughing. OMG {E} you are TOO much!

The Cute Handicap Guy...

"I want to jump on that thing and ride it off!"
-Adrianna
Ok, she just really wanted to ride the motorized wheel chair!! haha.

Wood...

"HEATHER! STOP THAT!! ...HEATHER!!!!"
-Jordan to Heather who was trying to show Homey what a "Sucker Kiss" was.
Oh my..if you could have seen her clapping (Sammi from JS style) and trying to get Heather to stop what she was doing, you would have been dying too.  It was SOOO funny. She really thought Heather was getting mad crazy and was going to mack on him.  lol.

Headphone Hoodies...

"...Right on Willy's Lap!"
Nieko's creative second verse to his song for Liz. 
hahaha.  That kid!

Half of a "Who'd You Rather" game...

"Drive Less. Kiss More."
-Amy's idea of what the "Drive less. Live More" billboard should really say.
haha. I love her.  "If you aren't kissing.. you aren't living":)

Kissing. Always kissing. 
I'm pretty sure I just need to pair up some people that I know so they can just get it over with!! Can I get a "WOOT WOOT" if you're feeling me on that?!? ;)

"Jenn, that felt so good!"
-{A} to a stranger in the Denny's restroom who she thought was me.
bahahahaha. Worthy of an award for the funniest/most awkward moment of the week? I think so!

Weekend Wrap Up--Lessons Learned

1.) For the longest time I've been against all things donut (for many reasons I won't go into).  However, without thinking, I ordered the Pancake Puppies from Denny's this weekend when we went.  I'm not sure what I thought I was getting.  I guess I just thought they were cute little pancake balls. haha. omg.  Even though I only ate three of the little guys, I might as well have eaten 30 pancakes or a couple of large maple donuts instead.  Although mighty tasty at the time, the Puppies make you feel icky. Plain and simple.

2.) No more super late eating out at crappy 24 hour food joints for a while.  Village Inn and Denny's in two days?  Ew. We're gross.

3.) All relationships are a two way street.  Both parties must put forth an effort.  If you think someone is stuck up or that they don't like you and you haven't put forth an effort either then they most likely think you are stuck up and that you don't like them as well.  Haha.  So... if it's worth it, just be the bigger person and make the effort.  If not, then drop it and move on with your life.  nbd.

 4.) What is a joke to one person can be bothersome to another. Sometimes we have to find out the hard way but it is better just to know...

5.) Don't jump to conclusions.  As an outsider you don't always know people's true feelings or where they stand when it comes to their relationships or their chaotic life in general.  Things aren't always as they seem and things aren't always as dramatic as we think they are.


6.) Give people a chance.  They might not be a Zac Efron or Emma Watson, they might be younger, older or you might think they are a touch strange, but people at least deserve a chance.  Let's just say, I  watched "The Help" this weekend and it made me want to be more accepting of everyone for who they really are, not just based off what society tells us is "normal" or who is considered "better" than someone else.  This can be hard sometimes but who knows, that person you thought was strange at first could turn out to be a really great friend! 

7.)  When planning to have a fire in the wilderness, remember that you aren't Tom Hanks in the Movie Castaway and that you do have resources that can be packed beforehand.  Save yourself time and bring the things you need like paper and gasoline...:) but, if you forget, then at least make sure you have an Easton, Anna or Nieko with you who will eventually get the job done right :)

8.) Always make sure you have your phone before leaving ANYWHERE. Especially at a Denny's at 2 am.  Who knows what kind of whack job will get ahold of it and what they will do with it. 

9.) If you do a good job in your calling at church or make yourself known in a new ward... you WILL get asked to speak in sacrament and it WILL be on something that you know you need to work on and you WILL most likely feel like crap. Never fails. 

10.) Some people will never change and some will remain an uncrackable mystery forever...

These last two aren't lessons but they are worth mentioning from the weekend:

**** Live porcupines in the wilderness are AWESOME.  Pretty sure we saw the biggest one on the way back from Basin on Sunday night.  You better believe that we turned the car around to get another peek.  I got home and googled them and you know how I really love tiny things, right?..well LOOK at this pic of baby porcupines. omg! I will excuse their creepy/poky/needle hairs and say that they are cute because they are so itty bitty.

**** Finally, I was in love with the weather this entire weekend.  So much, in fact, that it was probably the thing I mentioned the most.  Saturday at the concert, Sunday in the mountains with the fire, last night on my balcony sipping sonic drinks, BS-ing about life, listening to music, watching {E} do his Spanish Homework.....Fabulous!

I'll miss summer but I'm ready for the beautiful transition into the Fall :)

Blink 182 and MCR at Usana

Is it OK to be in love with someone JUST because of their voice or musical talent?  I think it is.  Gerard Way and Travis Barker..got. it. going. onnnnnn! I don't even care if one has fire truck red hair and the other is tattooed from neck to toe.  Not at all.

The My Chemical Romance and Blink-182 concert last night was so much fun if can't already tell from my previous statement.  My friends and I had never been to the Usana Amphitheater before so we really didn't know what to expect with our general admission "grass seats."  Of course, we're pretty smart so we ended up getting right at the front of the grass seats along the railing and it really couldn't have been better!

I've been to concerts before where you love their music but they super suck singing live and performing.  You know what I'm talking about, right?  Well, this wasn't the case at all.  Both of these bands were so good.  I didn't want MCR to stop because I crazy love Gerard's voice and of course Blink sounded just like they do on their albums and their stage set up with their backgrounds and light show was sooo good!


Oh and just LOOK at Travis and his little kids. Pretty sure his boy Landon was the little mohawked dude rocking out on the guitar next to Travis on stage last night. This pic is a bit old though because the kid's mohawk last night was HUGE. Regardless, look how cute!

Source: starpulse.com via Jennifer on Pinterest

I didn't make any crazy friends at this concert like I did last time but it was just so much fun.  We all just laughed, danced, screamed, and sang at the top of our lungs.  Luckily, I still have a voice this morning.  Not sure how Cole or Easton's will be though.  They were CRAZZY.

I'm pretty sure my car was pro at getting out of the parking lot too :)  If you ever go to Usana call me first because we were in and out like champs!  Beginner's luck? Maybe. But if we would have been stuck in the parking lot like some of the other people were...there would have been some "accidents" inside the car.  Thank you Village Inn for rescuing us with your bathrooms, your late night chicken strips that I shouldn't have eaten, and for putting up with a bunch of super loud kids!


Great friends, great night, great music, great fun!

Did I mention that I'm seeing Blink 182 and My Chemical Romance tomorrow night!? Well. I am :)

all the old...



and the new...



Who are we kidding. It's Blink. It will be epic, for sure.

Oh, and did I mention that I've always had a baby crush on Gerard from My Chemical?  It's true.

"Don't Sweat the Small Stuff"

About a year and a half ago, while going through a touch of drama, I decided to pick up the book, "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff...and it's all small stuff" in search for any kind of advice that would help me pull my crazy life together.

Source: None via Katelyn on Pinterest

The book changed the way I looked at a lot of things, helped me feel at peace with my life situation at the time, and to realize that there is no sense in letting the small/dramatic things consume my time.  For the last year and a half, I've done a pretty good job at it, I think.

However, we sometimes lose sight of great lessons we've learned, no matter how big of an impact the lesson had on us when we originally learned it.  I had one of those moments yesterday..big time.  I tried to blame it on the fact that I'd been watching too much reality TV and, although it could have been a contributing factor, I decided that I was just letting the small things waste my time. I seriously sat and thought, "Wait.  This is the old me. This Jenn doesn't waste her time with pointless crap.  She confronts it or brushes it off and she moves on."

I decided it was time to pick up the book again for a little refresh :)

If you haven't read it, the book is an easy read that talks about how we sometimes allow ourselves to get worked up about things that really aren't a big deal and tend to blow things out of proportion.  The short chapters are jammed packed with great advice and strategies to help you have a more relaxing {stress/drama free} life.  Here are some of the chapter titles that I probably should have read yesterday morning before leaving my apartment:

"Choose your battles wisely"
"See the innocence"
"Become more patient"
"Understand Separate Realities"
"Ask yourself the question: Will this matter in a year from now?"

If you want a better overview of the book and the chapters go here. 

Little things will most definitely come up that will seem like a big deal in the heat of the moment, especially when you over-analyze and get worked up about them {which is super easy to do}. People will come into your life who you don't understand at all. People will start pointless drama.  People will be shady.  People will hurt you {and you will probably hurt people too}.  But at the end of the day, you get to decide how to deal with it and how "BIG" you make it. 

Goal? Don't waste your time.  Clear up or get rid of anything that you have control over that is making your world crazier than it needs to be.  That most likely means confrontation and communication or even just cutting it out of your life.  Just remember,  If it's not worth fixing then it's not worth worrying about...

Ok. Go!

Wednesday's Witty Words from the Week.

"This is going to be a miserable job; Let’s get our buzz on."
-Snooki while on the job.
"I have my periodozo."
-Deena's excuse to her boss while drinking wine with Snooki in the bathroom at work.
hahahaha.  The best part of it all is that they paid someone at the restaurant to buy them the wine.  classic snooki.


"Sometimes life just sucks, LIZ."
-Amanda
She's right.  Sometimes things don't always go your way.  Sometimes you feel unwanted. *insert ugly cry here* And SOMETIMES you just don't want to be optimistic.  OK?


"How was I supposed to know who Steve Jobs is?"
-Easton, who could have been interviewed on channel 5 news to talk about how he felt about Steve Jobs' resignation as CEO but he didn't know who he was!!
uhhhh, hello!


"...We're old meat..."
-Amanda
What a sad truth.  But, listen.  Don't come running to us when you're bored with the delicious/tasty new meat!  CRAP.  You're right. old meat sucks. But if we were talking cheeses or wines, we'd be winning. so...take THAT!



Cole: "Have you ever tried beets?"
Me: "No."
Cole: "They're sweet!"
Me: "Really? They look disgusting!"
Cole: "The headphones?"
hahaha. So, I really thought he was talking about beets, like the food beets, not Beats by Dre.  um, yes I've tried them.  I used to be in love with this "Beats Boy" that I'd see everyday on campus and I loved him solely for his Beats...only because I never talked to the kid. haha. Pathetic.


"Can you touch the back of your "Hangy"?"
-Nieko
alright, so he's talking about the "hangy ball" in the back of your mouth.  The kid can touch his with his tounge. WTF, Right?! or maybe it's just me and Willy who can't do it? bahaha...oh Willy. I'll stop there.


"LOOK! There's your boyyyfriend!"
-Coworker, Amy referring to Ben Sherman Boy in passing at work.
Shut your mouth AMY! Sure, I spilled the beans to the coworkers when you got a boyfriend but that's just it, he was your REAL boyfriend not just someone you've blogged about once and talked to twice. embarrassing.. haha.


In a deep conversation with my sister about heaven and returning to a perfect state--
Jamie: "I'd rather be 19."
Me: "I'd rather be skinny..."
bahahahahaha. seriously one of the funniest conversations I've had with my sister (recently).  Dinosaurs, the creation, and other mind-blowing topics.  Really.  I was so distraught about things. Dad's Answer:  Just have Faith. haha. Thanks Dad :)


"If she still has a bedtime, she's too young for you, bro!!"
-Easton's clever, on-the-spot comment to a real life situation.
bahahahaha.  Atta boy, Easton!  I'm so proud that Jersey Shore has impacted your life so much.  Totally made my day :)


"Whoever becomes famous [out of us] first, makes the other one famous..that's the rule!"
-Alex.
I'm glad I have this pact with him.  The kid's going places; I just know it!


"The moment number 4 kissed me, I knew it was my boyfriend!"
-Vienna about Kasey during the Kissing Contest on Bachelor Pad.
You can't fool us Vienna.  You only knew it was him because of his NASTY breath!  Seriously, the other girls could barely kiss him and they all commented on how bad it was.  so sad but FUNNY!

"I deserve to be sucked up...to...yeaaa that didn't come out right." 
-Me trying to say that I think certain people should suck up to me.  The boys' reactions were funny too but I'll just leave it at that ;)
 I try not to post things that I say myself but this one was classic Jenn.  I just don't think before I say things sometimes. I won't excuse the fact that the comment in itself makes me sound stuck on myself a little but if you knew what we were talking about then you would agree, I think.