Easter.

We've all had moments where something happens and we know that our lives will never be the same.  I love these moments.  Sure, everything  we do plays a part in our future and the person we become, I really do believe that.  BUT, I'm talking about those few moments in life where something happens and you know, right then and there, that you will never be the same.

It's those moments where you meet someone new, you have a special bonding moment with a person you care about, you're introduced to a new way of thinking, or even those moments spent saying goodbye to someone you care about or when you finally decide to forgive and let go of  something that was once painful... No matter the case, my favorite part about these moments (even though some are sad and hard to get through) is the strength and positive energy that comes from them in the end. 

I had one of these moments yesterday. 

Anyone who really knows me understands that I talk to my mother at LEAST 2 times a day.  And you guys, that's low ballin.  I would say my average is 3-4.  Anyways, since I moved out at 18, that's just been the way  it's been.  Mom would then, of course, tell dad what was up.  That's just how it went.  It wasn't that I didn't love my father, we just don't really talk on the phone.  But I always knew that he knew what my mom knew. I guess you can say that there is a difference in the relationship I have with my mom and dad.  I don't love my dad any less than I love my mother, I just talk to her more.. you get the point. 

Ever since my parents have been empty-nesters and especially since Mason was born (almost 2 years ago) I've noticed that my dad has gotten softer and I.love.it.  I still don't talk to him on the phone a ton but we FaceTime occasionally and we do more things together when we visit.  It's funny.

This weekend Mom and Dad came down just to hang out for Easter weekend.  Dad cooked for us, played cards with us, went to the movies, played basketball, wanted to go Bowling.... it was just the best weekend.  We ate a lot of crap, which I regret but it was just so much fun.

Sunday before my parents left I asked my Dad if he would give me a blessing.  I didn't want to ask him but I've been really struggling with some things lately and I just knew that I needed to swallow my pride and finally ask. (plus, it's better than asking your 19 year old home teacher who would have no clue what you're going through.. right)  Well, I'm pretty sure I cried the rest of the morning.  But it was good.  I was able to open up to my father about things that I haven't said out loud to anyone before.  I talked about my worries, my temptations, my struggles, my heartaches.. all of it.  And while it was all happening, I had one of those "moments."  

Now, I've only seen my dad REALLY cry a few times... but "the moment" happened as he started to cry and tell me about his love for the gospel and for his children and how he thinks about us all the time and worries about me and wants the best for me.  I won't go into deep details about what was said because it was such a sweet moment but I know that I will never forget it.  My love for him grew even more.  I didn't think that was possible.

I know that my dad (and mom) are concerned for me and that they love their children so much.  I'm not a parent so I can't even understand how hard it must be to see a child struggle but I am so grateful for them.  It couldn't have happened on a better day, actually, because I was able to really compare and reflect on my relationship with my Heavenly Father and how he must have felt when His son came to Earth and suffered every pain, temptation, heartache and trial that exists.  Even in those weak moments where we think we are alone, we aren't.  Not only do we have the love and support of an earthly family and friends, but we have a Savior who has been EXACTLY where we've been and felt exactly how we've felt.  

I love Easter and the time we get to spend with family and reflect on the Savior and all of the blessings we really do have.  

I'm sure these moments happen all the time, I'm just not sure if we're always paying attention...

______

Other wise/simple words from Tracy:

"Don't be so hard on yourself. You're doing just a good as everyone else."
"If you don't want to do something, don't do it. (vice versa)"

I haven't felt more at peace with certain things for a long time... I have my Father(s) to thank for that :) 

Today is a good day. Plus, i'm pretty sure all of the crying yesterday morning gave my skin this weird glow.  Maybe it's the new BB Cream.  Whatever.  I'm liking today ;)