Wednesday Guest Post by Kier. AKA Kiersty AKA Kiersten Cullen AKA Kiersten Chenoweth

I have been collecting a few quotes here and there from Jenn for the past couple months and I can only hope that I can be half as hilarious as she is on her blog posts. I remember when I first found out about her blog (and secretly read it before we were even friends #creeperstatus) I was a little frustrated that things that she said couldn't be included in it. I wasn't used to her at the time and everything she said would make me laugh so hard. I remember even saying out loud one time "why isn't anyone writing this down!!" so here you go, Jenn's Quotes.

"People would have to literally peel my sweat pants off."
We were all sitting in the car talking about how great it would be to work from home and then Jenn just laid this one on us, taking it to a completely new level. The conversation continued on to talk about bed sores and really letting ourselves reach a black hole of despair and shower-less days. But for real, imagine PEELING someones sweat pants off. As if the term SWEAT pants isn't enough... now we are peeling them off, I cannot. 


"I bet its just scar tissue.......... Unless your twin is in there"
Ok, weirdest quote award. Let me explain. A few weeks ago I was in a car accident and I bit through my lip resulting in a small scar below my lip that feels really hard. I've sort of been worried about it lately and I've been making everyone touch it. It really is just scar tissue in there but it kind of does feel like there might be something stuck in it. Most people when they feel it say, "is there glass in it?" or "maybe its a rock." Leave it to Jenn to guess that I have my undeveloped twin living in my lip. It probably would make a really great reality T.V. series, and Jenn is all about reality T.V. so I guess maybe it makes sense now.


"Do you think its cute?" -me
"I Don't like its beady eyes, I mean really, think about the fact that it can see through that eye hole"
Reading this you might think that we are talking about a snake or a fish or something super creepy that might be cute if you're a little weird, you know what I mean. But no, we are talking about a duck, a little baby duckling. If you can't imagine how cute these things are go ahead and look them up on google images. These things are adorable. I showed Jenn a picture of a baby duck that I held at Coleman's work and this was her reaction. HA!! seriously, it is still beyond me how baby ducks could be creepy, but she did have a point about its beady eye. 


"GRAVITY!! it's the freakinest weirdest."
recently Jenn quoted Nieko saying "how bad did you scream on a scale of 1 to starship 5000" or something like this. I guess Jenn went on a ride at the fair last summer that scared her really bad and Nieko even has a video of it which really is funny. We watched the video of her doing it and then proceeded to watch people on YouTube doing it as well. Even just talking about the Starship 5000 made Jenn get all fired up, she was basically freaking out about how odd gravity was, she was so fired up that she started making up new words. #freakinest


"I don't want some rinky dink hot dog."
Okay, first things first, Rinky Dink?????? Someone PLEASE tell me where she gets these things. pretty much the best descriptive word on the planet and even better when you are talking about hot dogs. For weeks Jenn has been wanting a hot dog. When I mentioned that we could walk over to Walmart and get some hot dogs this is what she exclaimed. What is a non-rinky dink hot dog? A Costco hot dog, according to Jenn that is. 


"That makes me so sad, Oh my gosh I'm so glad to have eyebrows."
We were watching Jackass where one of the guys is getting waxed all over his body. They finally got to his face and they waxed off his eyebrows. I will admit that he did look really creepy. But Jenn got really upset about it and felt so bad for the poor guy. This immediately made us spend the rest of the night looking up celebrities without eyebrows. But for real who knew they made up such a big part of the anti creepiness of your face. So of course because I knew how much it upset Jenn, I spent the next day photoshopping Jenn's eyebrows off. Hahahah best half hour I've ever spent.


"I love the Red gum, Jokes on you I ate them both, I eat all the things."
So the other night we were just sitting around the counter and Jenn had this little thing of gum that was shaped like eggs in an egg carton. Jenn was talking about how great the red gum was. When I reached over to grab the second red gum she quickly put it in her mouth. So then when I reached for a different color she proceeded to take all twelve pieces of gum and shove them all in her mouth just so I couldn't get one. I want you guys to be able to imagine this right, The whole time she kept a straight face, both of her cheeks filled with gum, one eyebrow raised, looking at me and letting me know she was queen. HA!! then as I sat there feeling like a peasant she said the last part of the quote as she put the plastic carton in her mouth. "I eat all the things."

side note-- she didn't really eat the plastic. #LongLiveTheQueen


"Well she needs a drink of water."
As great as General Conference is there is one thing about it that I just can't handle and that is all the mouth noises. That microphone they use is top of the line because you can hear every movement their tongue makes and every smack of the lips. This one lady in particular was reallllyyy lip smacky, everyone was thinking it... Jenn just said it. 


"My whole life is in there"
"No it's not" -Sam
"Yes it is, I'm having an out of body experience."
Those Hansen's you guys are quick on their feet. As we were leaving to go to dinner Jenn was double checking that someone had locked the door. Sam remarked it doesn't matter and Jenn replied that it did because her whole life was in there. Sam was quick to tell her it wasn't and Jenn was even quicker to prove him wrong. It's sometimes so hard to not take her serious because she says these things so quickly and with the straightest face. One time she even convinced me her dad was a real clown that went to clown school. True Story. 

Well there you have it. I have more but I honestly can't remember why they were said even though they still make me laugh. Like this one that says "He is doing a really great impression of a hot dog." Jenn sure does love hot dogs. I wish I could remember what she was talking about. Anyway we all know Jenn is the best and the funniest girl around so she needed some recognition for that. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. 

Love you Jenn!

Wednesday

"I didn't want to say that. ABORT! ABORT!"
-Jamie about something she wrote on Instagram
We can't be the only people who have frantically wanted to delete something we've said on someone's instagram because you either spell something wrong, forget to tag someone in the comment, or realize you said something REALLY stupid.  Like, Jamie listening to my advice and commenting on a picture of our aunt's newborn naked baby bunnies.  "Make sure you don't touch them, the mom will eat them." haha. I thought it would be funny.  But really, like they didn't already know that, or ever google things about their new born babes?  haha.  But nooooo. Once you post crap on Insty, it's done and you occasionally have to comment again to make yourself sound less stupid. 

 Instagram.  smh.  Punking people on the daily.

"Eggs come from chicken period and my mind can't even comprehend that I have gone my whole life without realizing it."
-Nieko during our text conversation about eggs.
hahahaha probably my favorite conversation of the week.  It's true, once you finally realize this about eggs, it's kind of super weird.  And is probably even making you feel funny right now because you knew that's how it was but you didn't really think about it until just now.  You might even be mind gagging right now because it's that weird and gross. Sorry about that but it's a fact that needed to be addressed. 

The kid doesn't eat eggs unless they are chocolate but for some reason I feel like he looks at all of us "egg eaters" differently now.  Like we're sick or something.  idk.  It's weird and gross, I totally get it.  But we confirmed that it's just about as weird as my actually having an FFA "egg business" in high school...Moving on.

(If any of you stop eating eggs because of this, I'm sorry.)

"I didn't know there were THAT many Mormon's here."
-Walmart worker about how empty it was during Saturday morning General Conference.
Listen, I'm not a fool.  I put conference on my DVR and set out to get stuff done during a time I knew most would be home. But really? I couldn't believe this Walmart worker. You grew up here in Utah and you are just NOW realizing the population of Mormon folk in Utah? huh...I guess (omg I just about said something rude about her job but then I stopped myself because she was actually really nice.)

"It's rated 'Nightmare' for Easton."
-Easton about Evil Dead
We told him we were seeing Evil Dead on Saturday instead of the real movie we went to see (yeah, we went to Jurassic Park 3D, get over it.) But the kid totally showed up to 'go to the movies' with us without even knowing what movie we were going too.  I like interesting movies and enjoy scary movies too so you should ALWAYS question what we are going to see before you agree to it. But there is no way him or Sam would ever go see Evil Dead.. you saw the previews, right? That girl cutting her tongue right down the middle?

umm. people really do that.  YouTube "Split Tongue Tricks" if you don't believe me.  Actually, just believe me. It's weird.

"I'd be like Chanel West Coast.. just be beautiful and contribute nothing."
-Kier about being my co-host if I ever had my own TV/You-Tube show.
Yes, we were talking about what it would be like if I had my own TV or You-Tube show.  There's no way that would ever happen or even be good, but sometimes we just kind of go off on our ideas. But any of you who have ever watched Ridiculousness or Fantasy Factory know what we're talking about with Chanel "West Coast."  I could go off just on her name but the girl really just is beautiful and sits there and says only stupid things and laughs weird.  It's whatever.  Apparently Kier thinks she could be my Chanel West Coast.  So there's that.

"I'm going to flip that old lady off." -Cole
"She didn't do anything to you."
"She looked at me weird." -cole
hahaha leave it to Cole to think that the random old lady in the van next to us wanted to start something with him.  Who knows why the old lady looked at him weird, could have been anything really... you know old people. But for him to actually flip her off? yeah right. 

So you're noticing right now that I MIGHT have slacked a little this week.  5 quotes instead of 10? How could I?  Well... I told Kier that this week was a slightly less funny week and she FINALLY agreed to do that guest post I mentioned about a month ago.  I was going to just include it on this post, but this girl is so funny, I had to give her the entire post.  So... You should read it. here. Or just go to the next post.

P.S. I only edited the format and few punctuation things because I realize she wrote this super late last night.. haha but I didn't change any way that she said things or put notes in to defend myself on how weird I am because, I quote people without letting them defend themselves all the time.  I had to be fair :) 

Happy Wednesday!
(OK, for .5 seconds I was trying to think of something to call you readers.. haha like I'm Lady Gaga or something. smh BAHAHAHA.) 
ok. bye. for real this time.

Five Annoying Things You Might Do, But People Won't Admit It To Your Face. -Part 1

When people sing their greetings.  For example, there is this girl at work who not only will just burst into song randomly in the middle of all of the cubicles (like this morning was Whitney Houston. wtf?) but you simply say "Hi" to her and she'll respond with singing, "GOOD MORRRRNNINNNGGGGG." um. OK..? And then you have to awkwardly walk away because 1.) you're not weird enough or friendly enough to give her a sing-song greeting back and 2.) She's annoying.  So you just walk away.  

It's weird.  I don't like it.

When people post things like, "Who wants to hang out?" on their Facebook status. If you get a hang-out out of this, that's great, but why can't you just text your friends and be like, "Dude, I'm bored, let's go bowling." I mean, that makes you sound a hundred times less pathetic..and weird.

When people post 8 million selfies on Instagram in one day. Home girl, we get it.  You think you're really pretty today.  But if I wanted to look at you all day, I would either stalk your Facebook or call you and ask you out for drinks.  So, enough already.  Go ahead and post one here and there, that's great!  But that many in one day is just asking for people to judge you.  If you don't care what people think, that's good too.. But I'll be the first one to say out loud that you are annoying annnnnnd p.s. those one's where you are making those faces where you're trying to be sexy? They aren't cute. Like, at all.

note--  If you're going to post a selfie a day, make it a good one.  Moving on.

When people take the "what's on your mind" in the FB status update box literally and treat it like a therapy session. You need to get something out? I totally understand.  But do us all a favor and only tell that crap to your closest friends and family [or start a blog like me so only people who really want to read your crap are reading it].  The people you no longer talk to from High School or that friend who accepted your friend request because they know they met you that one time and they didn't want to be rude, doesn't really care that you're miserable.  I mean, they might care and feel bad for you a little but come on.  You're seeking attention, so go get help from the right people.  Really.  Marriage problems, digestion problem, severe depression/suicidal thoughts.. I've seen it all.  It's scary and not OK.

 And while I'm at it, what's the etiquette on "liking" those kind of updates.  If I like it, am I saying that I also agree that your life is horrible? or that I like that your life is horrible. I don't know.  It puts me in an awkward position.

When people talk like they are a rapper (and a different race).  Now, I don't want you to think that I'm assuming only a certain race raps OR refers to women as "hoes." Hello, Eminem is a white rapper and I'm pretty sure he's called women hoes before.  Guaranteed.  And what about the Beastie Boys? white.

[*me shamelessly bringing up just about the only famous white rappers to prove my point.* haha] 

But really, this white kid I went to high school with legitimately wears wife beaters and posted this as his status today.  haha.  I don't even know what else to say about this one.

Dude. just... just, don't.

Oh and who cares if the "hoes" don't or do want you?  Who wants a "hoe" anyways, really?  Why can't you just get yourself looking so good you can't help but check yourself out in that horrible mirror of yours, take off that chain necklace, put on a real shirt, and ask a normal girl out?

Or wait? Are all girls considered Hoes to these people? I forget.

Wednesday

"You know what I love about long drives? Soft serve ice cream."
-Kier
Clealy the girl wanted ice cream.  Who were we to get in the way of something she loves? We didn't stop her.  The best was that we kept asking what kind she wanted and she kept saying "whatever kind I want." umm? k.  Arctic Circle on Kiersten for the win :)

"SEGREGATION!"
-Kier about girls going up one flight of stairs and boys up the other...only to see that a black kid followed the both of us up the stairs as she chanted this.
I was dying.  Of course the kid was behind me so she didn't see what was going on.  I'm sure the kid didn't think anything of it.  But let's be real for a minute... There are a few things I feel like you don't chant when you're around certain people.  I think this was one of those things and one of those moments.  

"Do you remember when I used to play that sad Muppet's song and you would just sit and cry?"
-Jamie
The sad part about all of this is that I have a vivid memory of me sitting on the floor in the dark crying while Jamie MADE me listen to this song on our green record player.  She knew it made me sad.  You guys, it was about "saying goodbye and going away."  I mean, that was really in the lyrics.  It was sad..so yeah.. I cried a little.  Maybe this is why I have such a hard time saying goodbye to people and letting people go.  Way to ruin me, Jamie ;)

"Where's Fro-Ro?" -Mom
"OK, Scooby doo." -Cole
Mom is so funny.  Sometimes she just can't get certain words right.. I honestly don't think she means for it to be funny.  Like, she couldn't say Fro-Yo... or she was just confused, I don't know.  But it was so funny. ( I just said it again in my head and laughed out loud. )  Oh how I love that mother of mine.  And her love for Jamba Juice and Fro-Yo.  Two peas in a pod.

"You need to get on it." -Mom to me about getting a man
"Yeah, Jenn." -Nieko annoyingly agreeing
Nieko was finally able to meet my parents when they were here this weekend.  Of course mom brought up me finding a man.. I think I was talking about someone who graduated from the singles ward but hasn't left yet so she was like "yeah, you're right there too." (at least that's my version of it. even if she didn't REALLY say that haha) and Nieko of course jumped right in on agreeing with Linda. 

 He would. He did. He's rude.

"He's like a human."
-Justin Bieber on instagram about his pet monkey. 
If you know me then you know how I feel about this.  While, I have to admit that this one (in this picture only) is kind of cute, I still don't change the way I feel about them.   LOOK at those fingers.  AND how it's sleeping. *shiver* 

"I had a nightmare that I was on Good Morning America for buying the most expensive cross bow."
-Dad
Dad learned how to use his iPad so he's on Ebay. A lot.  Well about 1:30 am, mom and I were watching Vampire Diaries and he hands the iPad over after he realized that he accidentally bid $17,500 for a cross bow instead of $175. At the time I wasn't laughing because I was frantically trying to google how to reverse a bid.  Clearly he didn't mean to bid that much on a bow that was maybe worth 3 or 4 hundred.  Haha, we got the bid cancelled but he still had a nightmare about it.  We can laugh about it now.  I think he learned his lesson about checking a few times before pressing enter when he's bidding..and about the extra zeros and stuff.  haha.  My father.  The best.

"Why's he wearing a suit?" -Kier
"Probably going to a quesadilla." -Mom
"I think you mean Quinceanera.  Racist." -Me
HAHAHA.  Again with the different words.  But this one had me laughing for a really long time.  Quesadilla. smh.  Yes, the kid was Mexican and it was a Saturday afternoon.. so I guess she did have a valid point.  

"Was there anything wrong with that monkey bread?" -Sam
"It was probably just hard. Why?"-Cole
"I may have eaten some out of the garbage." -Sam
REALLY?! Most people throw things in the trash so they don't eat them.  I do this.  Why? Because I don't eat shiz out of the trash so If I don't want to eat more of something, I throw it away.  Or I throw it out because, I don't know.. it's bad.  Not Sam.  The kid literally ate some of the Monkey Bread I threw away in the trash.  haha

yeah. I cannot.

"Ok, maybe I can be an Indian only on the weekends."
-Nieko
Alright so he's not REALLY going to do this.  We were just talking about a vid that Nieko watched and were coming up with crazy ideas.  But if you get the chance, watch the video about the guy on "My Crazy Obsession" who is obsessed with mermaids.  You guys, the dude really has a tail and goes and swims in the open water like he's a merman.  He can even hold his breath for like 4 minutes or something.  He was serious too, which we don't get.  

You'll have to excuse us, we are just really intrigued by people like this.  Like, we don't get it.

*note.. If you have a weird obsession like this, I'm sorry for making fun of you.. but I feel like you have to just get used to it.  In all seriousness.  Somethings people just don't understand, and this mermaid thing is one of them. Oh, but we did decided that we would of course still love you...while still thinking it's weird.

Mermaids. smh.

"This trip might have topped New York."
-Easton
This is just me officially calling him out for having so much fun with out us.  As if that is even possible. *insert overly dramatic cackle.*  Glad you had so much fun on your "Mancation" though.

"Please bless you're open, please bless you're open."
-Kier about Zepe's at 10:00 at night
"You're calling them?" -me
"Yeah.  I pay my tithing." -Kier ... 2 seconds later while the phone is ringing
"My phone died." -Kier
Hi Kier, this is the universe saying "SCREW YOU!" 

Hahaha. It really was the funniest.  lesson learned:  Just because you pay your tithing, it doesn't mean places that sell delicious treats will stay open all hours of the night just for you.

Unfortunately.

BABIES.

Remember how I posted in my New Year's post that 2013 was going to be a big year?  Boy, was I right.  It wasn't very long ago that I received a phone call from my high school BFF, McKenzie, letting me know she was pregnant!  I was so excited.  Jealous a little of course because now she's not only TWO steps ahead of me (you know, the man being the first step) but now to have a baby on the way? Just crazy!  But mostly I'm just SO excited to meet that cute baby in September.  Because, we all know that baby will be precious.

The fun didn't stop when the next day I learned that I was one two pee sticks away from finding out that my bestie Savanna was pregnant too. Yes, we were totally texting while she waited for the test to work so she could go out and tell B that they were having a baby.  It was a precious moment.  Anyways, baby Taylor is coming the next month in October.  Favorite month, favorite people, adorable baby (But like seriously, that kid is going to have the darkest, best skin.  for real.)  Yes, yes and yes!

But really... My other best friends growing up are also having babies this year.  Kelli in May and Megan in July.  It's one thing to watch your friends get married to the loves of their lives but it's even better to watch them start their families and be all...old and stuff.  Hahaha.  It's fun. So many babies this year!

Now we just need to find out what Kenzington and SavyB are having because, guess what? Someone got a sewing machine for Easter.  So yeah, I'll totally be that single friend who gets major points for being alone and awesome and sewing cute things for these babies.  People will be all "omg, you're the cutest." and I'll be like. "ohh.. it's nothing" but deep down I'll be like, "I made that shiz, I MADE that!" yeah, that's about how it will go down.  I better start practicing and remembering the Gma Hansen sewing skills.

Gotta "wow" the people somehow, I suppose.  You know, since my uterus doesn't have a baby in it like everyone else this year;)

But  really, I'm so excited for them and can hardly wait to meet those babes!!
Official Congrats to the Andrus' and the Taylors :) 

Easter.

We've all had moments where something happens and we know that our lives will never be the same.  I love these moments.  Sure, everything  we do plays a part in our future and the person we become, I really do believe that.  BUT, I'm talking about those few moments in life where something happens and you know, right then and there, that you will never be the same.

It's those moments where you meet someone new, you have a special bonding moment with a person you care about, you're introduced to a new way of thinking, or even those moments spent saying goodbye to someone you care about or when you finally decide to forgive and let go of  something that was once painful... No matter the case, my favorite part about these moments (even though some are sad and hard to get through) is the strength and positive energy that comes from them in the end. 

I had one of these moments yesterday. 

Anyone who really knows me understands that I talk to my mother at LEAST 2 times a day.  And you guys, that's low ballin.  I would say my average is 3-4.  Anyways, since I moved out at 18, that's just been the way  it's been.  Mom would then, of course, tell dad what was up.  That's just how it went.  It wasn't that I didn't love my father, we just don't really talk on the phone.  But I always knew that he knew what my mom knew. I guess you can say that there is a difference in the relationship I have with my mom and dad.  I don't love my dad any less than I love my mother, I just talk to her more.. you get the point. 

Ever since my parents have been empty-nesters and especially since Mason was born (almost 2 years ago) I've noticed that my dad has gotten softer and I.love.it.  I still don't talk to him on the phone a ton but we FaceTime occasionally and we do more things together when we visit.  It's funny.

This weekend Mom and Dad came down just to hang out for Easter weekend.  Dad cooked for us, played cards with us, went to the movies, played basketball, wanted to go Bowling.... it was just the best weekend.  We ate a lot of crap, which I regret but it was just so much fun.

Sunday before my parents left I asked my Dad if he would give me a blessing.  I didn't want to ask him but I've been really struggling with some things lately and I just knew that I needed to swallow my pride and finally ask. (plus, it's better than asking your 19 year old home teacher who would have no clue what you're going through.. right)  Well, I'm pretty sure I cried the rest of the morning.  But it was good.  I was able to open up to my father about things that I haven't said out loud to anyone before.  I talked about my worries, my temptations, my struggles, my heartaches.. all of it.  And while it was all happening, I had one of those "moments."  

Now, I've only seen my dad REALLY cry a few times... but "the moment" happened as he started to cry and tell me about his love for the gospel and for his children and how he thinks about us all the time and worries about me and wants the best for me.  I won't go into deep details about what was said because it was such a sweet moment but I know that I will never forget it.  My love for him grew even more.  I didn't think that was possible.

I know that my dad (and mom) are concerned for me and that they love their children so much.  I'm not a parent so I can't even understand how hard it must be to see a child struggle but I am so grateful for them.  It couldn't have happened on a better day, actually, because I was able to really compare and reflect on my relationship with my Heavenly Father and how he must have felt when His son came to Earth and suffered every pain, temptation, heartache and trial that exists.  Even in those weak moments where we think we are alone, we aren't.  Not only do we have the love and support of an earthly family and friends, but we have a Savior who has been EXACTLY where we've been and felt exactly how we've felt.  

I love Easter and the time we get to spend with family and reflect on the Savior and all of the blessings we really do have.  

I'm sure these moments happen all the time, I'm just not sure if we're always paying attention...

______

Other wise/simple words from Tracy:

"Don't be so hard on yourself. You're doing just a good as everyone else."
"If you don't want to do something, don't do it. (vice versa)"

I haven't felt more at peace with certain things for a long time... I have my Father(s) to thank for that :) 

Today is a good day. Plus, i'm pretty sure all of the crying yesterday morning gave my skin this weird glow.  Maybe it's the new BB Cream.  Whatever.  I'm liking today ;)

Wednesday.

"I thought I was popular in HS but I look back and I was the biggest nerd."
-Kier
Hahaha. The best thing was that High School wasn't that long ago for her.  Ohh how I envy her youth.  (Jk she's probably more adult than I am).  But it's OK, Kier, if you were a nerd, I feel like you were probably the coolest of all the nerds.  And I mean that.  From the heart :)

"He is such a Tool.  He was my roommate so I feel like I can say that lovingly."
-Alex
HAHAHA.  Really though, don't we all know one of those people?  You're totally their friend and all and you occasionally hang out or text but in reality, they're a Tool or, for lack of better words, a mini d-bag? Oh yeah.  You probably know more than one. 

"On a scale of 1 to Starship 5,000..."
-Nieko about my levels of yelling
Once upon a time (last summer) Nieko convinced me to jump step off a ginormous cliff into open water.  All things that I hate by the way.  After the fall that could have been fatal, I screamed... really loudly.  This last week we were talking about how loud that scream really was.  Nieko then said this ^ comparing it to how freakishly loud I screamed at the State Fair last year on the Starship 5,000 ride that he also convinced me to go on. Apparently that was louder than the cliff incident. If you haven't seen the video of it.. good.  It's embarrassing.  But don't you dare judge me until you've been on that ride.  It's trippy, I didn't know what was going on, and don't even get me started on gravity. Ok? 

Unlike Nicki Minaj, that is one Starship I don't want to go on one more time.

"I got it at American Eagle." -me
"Isn't that for skinny people?!" -Melissa
HAHAHAHAHAHA No secret, guys. I'm a few miles past "skinny" so it totally didn't offend me when she said this... Especially since she's pretty close to the same size as I am and HELLO, I know what I am and I am NOT skinny. SO I got a good laugh out of it and pointed her to the world of shopping outside of Gordman's.  Apparently she gets her Jeans there. Meh.  Never been.  But I look at it this way, you can either choose to be offended OR take it the other way and be like... Yeah, she thinks I'm skinny since I shop there.  *Woot.Woot.*RAISE THE ROOF*

Blatant lie, but shhhh, just go with it.

"Now I can truly say...You.are.a.HOOT."
-Kier
I think I might have quoted it the first time that I met Kiersten on this blog actually.  Back then I knew that Cole was texting Anna's friend and I was like, really not in the mood for him to get another GF in fear that she would be annoying and ruin my life. (not dramatic). So when I ran into Anna at some stupid YSA dance at Weber State we were leaving already because it was super lame and they were just getting there.  The first thing Kier said to me was "I hear you're a HOOT."  I'm pretty sure I fake laughed and made a face at Nieko because, like I said, I'm occasionally rude and I just didn't want to get involved with any of Cole's relationships.  Anyways, I could tell she was cute and nice but that was about it.  I just was like "who calls someone a hoot?" haha Nieko and I laughed about that for a while actually. Until, they started really dating and I quickly fell in friendship/girl love with her.  haha. so, there you have it.  So this weekend we laughed more than I've laughed in a really long time and she finally was able to say that I'm a hoot.  

....took her long enough :) haha

"Is she crying?!"
-Super annoying girl behind me at the movie Theater.
So I had my first really big panic attack of the year.  We were seeing Olympus Has Fallen which is already a stressful movie anyways especially for someone who has family moving there in the next couple of months. Not-so-Spoiler--lots of people die and the White House gets taken over.  It's a nightmare.  I knew what I was getting myself into when I went to the movie but I wasn't expecting someone to yell racial slurs in the middle of the theater and for 3 crazy men to get up and run up and down the stairs screaming the F word asking everyone in the front of the theater to man up to whoever said the "N word."  It was scary.  You guys, I could tell more about it, but I won't.  Just in my mind I knew that I was going to get shot and the first thing I thought was "Dark Knight. Shooting. How am I going to hide/get out of here?" It was bad.  So when I have panic attacks like these, I'm totally irrational, I can't breathe, and I cry a little.  Well, it happened.  Right there in the theater.  Of course the annoying girl behind me had to make comments.  If I had my head on straight at the time and could control my heart rate I totally would have turned around or something and been like "B, you don't know my LIFE!" something like that. 


"Blah, blah, blah, ...blah, blah, blah. *change profile picture*bash everyone for having different beliefs*
...blah. blah. BLAHHHHHHHHH."
-Everyone (minus a handful of people) on Facebook right now.
Am I the only one who is beyond annoyed with Facebook right now?  I was talking a few days ago about how Facebook is border-line depressing these days and that was BEFORE all of this equality stuff exploded yesterday.  It's annoying.  Mostly because I hate that people are so rude to each other; it really makes me sad. I get that people are passionate about the topic of gay marriage and equal rights, and I'm a little envious of their passion, but I would never bash someone for believing what they believe.  That's not me at all.  I'm not saying everyone should be like me, but I feel like I'm 10 times less annoying :) so there's that.

My stance on what is going on is simply this: figure out what you believe and spend time fighting for the cause if that's what you want to do...but never make someone feel little or personally attacked for believing what they do, even if you 100% don't agree with it. 

I just want people to be nicer (and less annoying). I don't feel like that's asking for much.

A while ago I wrote about how I have this thing where people, even those I barely know, feel the need to just spill everything about their life to me.  I don't mind it really.  In fact, I LOVE that people trust me and I love hearing about what people are going through for these reasons:

1.) It usually reassures me that my life isn't THAT crazy all the time

2.) I enjoy learning about how people cope with things 

3.) I like understanding why people are the way that they are

4.) It teaches me to judge a little less because you never really know what people are going through.

Yesterday I had someone come and tell me some things that left me heartbroken.  It's true that you don't always know what secrets people have, what goes on at home, with their relationships, and in their heads.  Sometimes it's easy for us to get so caught up in our own lives that we forget to ask people how they are really doing and to really mean it when we are asking.  I'm guilty and I want to do better at that.

( Seriously, I swear my blog (Journal-crap thing) is becoming all about things I occasionally fail at and want to do better.  But it really does help me, I swear. )

I'm not sure why people do some of the horrible things that they do, why some hurt people they "love", why people lie, why they cheat, or why they get sad and depressed.  It's just life I guess.  But the best part about life is that we get to choose to be the person that we want to be.  If we don't like the situation that we're in, there is ALWAYS a way out.  It just might take a hint of courage, a dash of hard work and little bit of faith and trust to make it happen.  But it's DOABLE :) 

I sometimes listen to things people are going through or about their past and how they let it define who they are and that makes me sad.  Most of the time we don't change our situations because we are scared or because we don't think we deserve something better.  But if you are a good person, then you deserve to have a good life and to be happy and safe.  So carry yourself that way and don't accept anything less for yourself.

I wish I could shake a few people and tell them that they will never be truly happy until they let the past go and look forward in Faith that things will get better if they just try... but we all know that it's something each individual has to do for themselves.  But I do know this--If you don't make any changes, things will never get better. So decide what makes you happy and don't let go of it. [and no, I'm not talking about cupcakes;)].

Out with the bad/toxic.. in with the good.

I guess my whole point to this is that you honestly never know what personal struggles people are going through. The deep ones....Even the closest of friends have things they don't admit out loud.  I just honestly don't want to be that person that pushes someone over the edge or gets in the way of them having a breakthrough or a good day.

So let's try to be a little more understanding and caring today and take a second to listen.  Who knows what kind of an impact you could make on helping someone get out of a bad situation or in changing their day/life.

Oh, and let's work on being nicer to ourselves too while we're at it:)

I could totally quote the Help right now.  Actually, no, I will:

You is kind.
You is smart.
You is important.
.....so act like it.

Wednesday

"I have you now, Jenn. I have to."

-Kier about pinching me with her toes

I'm not sure why she insists on doing this to me.  Is it a talent that she can use her creepy toes to pinch harder than any other person could with fingers? yes, it's a talent.  More like a freak show, but it's pretty impressive.  I think I would be more impressed if she hadn't done it to me twice in the last month.  You guys, I bruise like a peach and her toes...they are like pinchers sent straight from Hell.

"Are you on drugs?" -Me to mom

"I wish." -Mom

"Yeah, me too." -me

I can't remember exactly what we were talking about on the phone but she was being a crazy person and particularly rude to me that day.  Normally she just always agrees with me and tells me I'm the best (that's the gist of it) but that day she was all over the place hyper and rude.  I assumed it had to be drugs.  It wasn't.  The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

"I like your watch!" -Me to Jared

"Thanks! I got it at... Targeet." Jared trying to make Target sound fancier

BAHAHA the best part about this is that there is already a well known way that people say Target in hopes to make it sound fancy. Odds are you just said it in your head or out loud and then rolled your eyes and laughed at Jared in your mind or out loud. I did.  To his face. But anyways it's not TarGEET.  For some reason that sound hillbilly to me...not fancy.  But props to Jared for trying. I got a laugh out of it!  

P.S. People love Target.  You can just say where it's really from :)

"I threw up, pretty much." -Kier

"...so...you did or you didn't?" -me

hahahaha. I don't think she's mastered the dramatics like I have.  But she's the funniest. Like so funny I could pretty much die.  See--That's how it's done ;)

"You can say anything you want right now and he won't hear you.... Keep going."

-Nieko

Have I told you guys that Nieko and I can talk about people who are literally feet away from us or we can say something really funny and we are the only people who hear?  It's strange how people block us out.. because we're really funny.  And we're pretty cool.  But that night I was saying some mean (not true) things about Chris for like 5 minutes and he didn't hear any of it.  Kier was there too and she didn't even know that's what we were doing.  Huh.  People block us out.  

"I just spent the last two hours reading Jenn's blog.  I don't know what I'm doing."

-Gentry to Kier

hahahaha. At first I was like, "Yeah, people like my SHIZ!" But then it really got me thinking about how really anyone can access my blog and stalk/judge me.  Weird?  A little.  Not for Gentry, because I totally met her twice so it's not a big deal.  And honestly, anyone who can sit and read what I have to say for two hours is totally OK in my book.  But think about it.  Have you really sat to think about how much we stalk people?  Even if it's your friends.  It's kinda of weird that you never know who is stalking your life on FBook, twitter, or whatever.  In Fact, Jared told me on Monday that him and Garrett went through like all of my Facebook pictures one night this weekend. (Come to find out they were looking for my Furby picture.. P.s. Everyone REALLY needs to get over that :))  Hahah it's just funny.  We all have a little stalker in us. I mean, you guys have no CLUE who I stalk often.. MUAH HA HA HA . #creeperstatus #sorrynotsorry

"Why are you cutting it into the smallest pieces?"

-like all of us to Jared as we sat and observed him eating his BONELESS Buffalo Wings

"It's easier to digest that way, GOSH!"

-grandpa Jared

He claims that doing that is why he's so skinny... I don't think that's it.  But it was the silliest thing to watch.  What a funny soul.

"You're such a people pleaser!"

-Nieko

Not breaking news.. he just likes to rub it in my face sometimes.  I'm sure it's some backwards way of getting me to stand up for myself and do only what I want.  Actually, I know him...That's totally what it is.  But it's kind of twisted because he takes pride in the fact that he can get people to do pretty much anything.  Meh.  I'm a people pleaser most of the time.  

I just like people to be happy. 

yeah.. I need to work on that.

"I looked like a hot mess today." -Kier ..kind of slurring.

"you looked like a Hobbit today?" -Cole

haha. I kind of like them :)

"Jacob Black has the smallest nipples in New Moon...Like a Cheerio, except where the hole is, there's a little teet."

-Jamie

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  You guys--My sister is the best. And, she's totally right.  See for yourself.

Patience.

I've decided that if I ever get married someday, I will make a really good wife.  And as long as my kids don't do creepy things, I will probably be a good mom too. (haha jk But really.  I think I could be a great mom. I just have to get over that whole barf/poopy diaper thing). Anyways,  I get crap done.  I'm organized, I'm fun most of the time and I try really hard to make people happy and try my hardest to be patient and understanding.   

But there are somedays where I just want to pull a Britney... Of course I just plot things in my head occasionally and don't actually do these things I'm about to list.  But, if I wasn't so anal about things being clean and taken care of then I would totally make these things happen:

I want to see how long I can go without grocery shopping before the boys go and do it for once. 

"You're hungry?  Wah. So are people in china.  Go to Walmart, do not pass go, do not collect $200."

I want to hide all the "essentials" and see what they do.  

"No toilet paper? Oh sorry.  Forgot.  Better improvise or go get some!"

I want to shred every piece of dirty clothing that is left on the floor of the main bathroom.

"oops.  I thought you didn't want this anymore."

I want to never clean the main bathroom/Toilet and see how gross it gets before they clean it.

"Good luck ever trying to get a girl to marry you, nasty!"

There are just some things moms/wives do that go unnoticed.  I'm sad that I'm just figuring it out in my twenties.  I'm sad for my mom and how ungrateful we were growing up.  Mom always took care of everything.  She might not have cooked fancy meals or anything but she took care of us and always made sure that we had the things we needed.  I am who I am because of my mother and her example.  HA.  I'm sure there are days where mom wanted to run away and never come back.  Actually, come to think of it, I think she didn't get in the car once and leave for a few minutes before.  haha.  I only laugh about it now because I totally get it.  No one wants to feel used or not appreciated, but it's easy to let things get that way when we are being lazy and selfish.

Really though, if I go back into the kitchen right now and their cereal bowls and dirty dishes are in the sink that I JUST emptied into the dishwasher 30 minutes ago.. they are going to wish they never moved in with me. 

haha I wish.  Mom's, wives, or other twisted people who've put themselves into a similar situation as me, you totally know that is just a front.  I will probably just end up doing something like this.

1.) Make a "UH!" *Growl* sound

2.) loudly put the dishes into the dishwasher.

Oh being a women.

Patience... Still learning it.