Have you ever had one of those days where something frustrating happens and then EVERYTHING from that point on just bugs the crap right out of you?! yeah me too. Yesterday was just one of those days. Not only was yesterday already cursed because it was a Monday but my day didn't stand a chance with all of the dumb people I was surrounded with. Work, home, all of it. pure crap.
I realized that I'm the worst pet peeves. Now, when I say the worst, I mean that if something bugs me, I will literally feel like I'm going to explode until the annoying thing stops. Sometimes it's stuff that people can't help, but that doesn't matter in the moment. Like when someone sneezes a billion times and it sounds like they aren't covering their mouth. [Nope. I can not. ] Or when people just don't do the things they are supposed too and they expect other people to just do it for them or to know what they are talking about. grrr.
Yesterday was just one of those days.
I've realized that there are a few ways to be on my good side during one of those days. 1--don't be annoying. 2-clean up after yourself so I don't have to do it and 3- give me some space for a minute. And if that doesn't work *bonus- get me a gift or do something nice for me. That totally helps change my negative attitude into a positive one.
I guess when you're just around people all the time, things will just start to bug you. You can't get away from it sometimes. It could be at work, home, or even just a group of friends. When people do things that we find annoying, it's usually because they aren't doing it the way that we do it. Reality check, of course they don't. We were all brought up differently and we're just all different in general. Like, I cover my mouth when I sneeze (either with a tissue, elbow, hand if I have too) and some people do it in their shirt, or don't cover at all...so I choose to not smack my cereal when I eat or I choose to have the house cleaned or to be organized at work..that doesn't mean that everyone is that way or that I'm right (although, let's get real, I still feel pretty right about all of those things I just complained about). Having had almost 30 roommates not counting family in my lifetime, I've realized that you have to have patience. It really doesn't always get easier. People will annoy you no matter where you go or what you do.
The key is to just not let it get to you so bad in the moment. Put yourself in their shoes for a minute. They probably don't see anything wrong with whatever they are doing or however they are living or else they probably wouldn't be doing it. It might be awkward, but if you don't say anything then compromises can't be made and understanding goes right out the window.
ugh. but it's just so hard when you don't want to sound like the WITCH who is like "umm. I guess that's OK. gonna have to be."
Stepping back and taking a deep breath totally helps me stay sane. It might take me a whole day to get to that point but trust me. Just breathe. And ...if you have too...lock yourself in your room or the bathroom for a minute. If you're anything like me, you will feel better and you'll get some great cleaning in! ;)
Everyone tells me that I'm just prepping myself for marriage living with boys. But I think I'm doing them more of a favor. haha. Their future wives will thank me down the road, I'm sure of it.
Like I had to tell my mom this morning -- "Just breathe. bite your tongue if it's not going to make things better." Boy does it make me feel good that my mother (who turned 53 yesterday) has annoyances and drama just like I do sometimes. Makes me feel better about myself. And more normal... :)
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Don't think, just type. Actually, what am I saying? These are my thoughts. 15 minutes in my head. Annnnd go.
I freak out about the dumbest things. Yesterday, I couldn't stand that my nails weren't painted for one day. It was a big deal. I hated that it was a big deal, but it was. This last week/month I've been freaking out about what to do when my apartment contract is up at the end of April because of roommate situations, people being in different stages of life, and me just being like, "Merp." Isn't it funny that my pathetic "Mid-single" aged life is determined on an apartment contract and what other people around me are doing with their lives? It's like, "...so, the contract's almost up. Now what? Where will I be in 6, or 12 months or where will Cole be.. because that's what I have to sign up for. The next 6 or 12 months of my life." I hate it. Almost as much as I hate that now that I'm 25 I'm considered a "Mid-Single Adult." Did you know they have firesides just for us? I heard two of my older mid-single adult friends in the ward say that they only went to one of those firesides but stopped because they basically were told they were a failure for not being married. But really, what's new? We DO live in Utah. I've been told that for years already so it's not a secret that that is what people think about you. Get over it. You're just a mid-single LOSER. haha jk. I'll be the first to tell you that if you're like me, you aren'ta loser. I'm not a loser and that's not a secret. You know what is a secret though? HA. Good try. I can't tell you because they are secret. A couple of them, in fact. [I'll blog about that later on.] But I will just tell you that feel like 2013 is going to be a big year for a lot of people. When I say big year, I mean that I hope it's a GOOD, big year. We're due for it since 2012 was just kind of crappy for a lot of people I love.
*hmmm. * Sigh* yawn*
How is time going by so fast but winter seems to be lasting so long? I need some freaking sun around here. Not just because I'm freakishly white under all these layers of clothes but because the sun, green grass, and being outside just makes me happy. Not saying that I do a lot of outside activities, but you get my point. I'm sick of the cold. I'm sick of the snow.
OK..Now I sound negative even though I know most of you hate this point of the winter too. Something Positive.. um.. This weekend I'm going to Vegas for a quick one night stay in Vegas! Kier has never been before so her, Sam, Cole and I got tickets to see Imagine Dragons at the Hard Rock on Saturday night. So we're going for a quick trip. I really don't LOVE car rides over 3 hours but I don't have to drive, so I'm happy about that. I also scored us a night at the Cosmopolitan so that should be fun. It really will just be kind of nice to get away for a minute. oh, look at me.. being positive!
Well, 15 minutes are up.
Here's to a Fantastic day and trying to not freak out about anything for remainder of it. I mean it. No freak outs.
Positive thoughts------> Positive Energy:)
*hmmm. * Sigh* yawn*
How is time going by so fast but winter seems to be lasting so long? I need some freaking sun around here. Not just because I'm freakishly white under all these layers of clothes but because the sun, green grass, and being outside just makes me happy. Not saying that I do a lot of outside activities, but you get my point. I'm sick of the cold. I'm sick of the snow.
OK..Now I sound negative even though I know most of you hate this point of the winter too. Something Positive.. um.. This weekend I'm going to Vegas for a quick one night stay in Vegas! Kier has never been before so her, Sam, Cole and I got tickets to see Imagine Dragons at the Hard Rock on Saturday night. So we're going for a quick trip. I really don't LOVE car rides over 3 hours but I don't have to drive, so I'm happy about that. I also scored us a night at the Cosmopolitan so that should be fun. It really will just be kind of nice to get away for a minute. oh, look at me.. being positive!
Well, 15 minutes are up.
Here's to a Fantastic day and trying to not freak out about anything for remainder of it. I mean it. No freak outs.
Positive thoughts------> Positive Energy:)
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Wednesday
"Kiersten, put your hands up."
-Nieko to Kier who had her hands between her legs by her crotch
"Where else am I supposed to put them?!" -Kier
This is a typical thing that would happen in my apartment. Everyone has a semi-dirty mind (mine being the LEAST dirty because I won the last round of Dirty Minds..anyways) so we just assume that people are being purvey or weird. She was just trying to keep her hands warm.. I think? haha but really that's not the only place to put your hands. You can put them in your pocket, fold them or even just place them on your lap :) try it.
"Were you guys talking about me?"
-Sam to this cute food worker at the mall
There are just some people who can start talking to someone and in a matter of a couple of minutes, ask for their number and it's like no big deal. Sam is one of those people. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, you just don't see it happen like that very often. Confidence, you know? But then to go back and ask for BBQ sauce, and ask if they are talking about you? omg. ...yeah. I'm done. I can not...
boys.
"OK, so what do you want to do for your last official night hanging out?" -Me
"Cuddle." -Soon to be missionary
"*haha* Ok. But really?" -me
"I was serious." -dude
Sure, I went along with it for a minute but then it was like um.. "Who wants to play Apples to Apples!?" I'm not kidding. And I hate that game. It doesn't make any sense, the rules are stupid and it's not fun. Like, at all. But we played and I sucked. Actually, I did end up winning two cards at the very end. You know how they are supposed to explain you or whatever.. my cards were "Juicy and Pure." Let's not even get started on the other words on the card that described Juicy. Meh. That's me--Juicy/Pure Jenn. Ew. Actually, I take that back. Say the word Juicy when it comes to a person or..anything actually. Did you do it?
Gross.
"You're Screamin'!"
-Kid to me at FHE
At first I didn't know what he meant. Like are you trying to give me a compliment or bash on me? I wasn't even saying anything. That's when I realized I was wearing my BRIGHTEST pink/orange hoodie and I guess it's just a little shocking for people. It's bright, I get it. That was followed by everyone commenting on the sweater for the rest of the night. Mostly dudes. I don't get it. Maybe I need to wear it more often to get their attention. #jk #mostlyweirdos #blesstheirsouls #sorrynotsorry
"She's just singing a beautiful tune."
-Kier to Liz who couldn't understand what I was quietly saying/singing
I guess Liz thought I was talking to her but I was just singing "Bandz A Make Her Dance." I guess it could be considered a beautiful tune, Kiersten Cullen. Way to see the best in all things.
...Drank.
"You look tan today."
-Coworker, Wendy
Seriously, this happens every time I don't wash my hair and just stick it in a messy bun on the top of my head. I think I've figured out that it's because when I don't wash my hair, I have to pull it all back in a pony and well, my roots are SUPER grown out so my hair around my face looks darker which makes me wonder, does my blonde wash my face out? omg. I need to get into GrassRoots next week. Like ASAP. And I need to convince myself that either it's OK to be white or it's OK to age myself in a tanning bed because since it's been winter I've worn tights or jeans everywhere and my legs are white as a ghost. I'm not joking. Or laughing. CURSE YOU TANNING MOM. *shakes fist*
"My New York accent comes out when I'm emotional or "PISSED OFF."
-Girl during her testimony over the pulpit at church.
Now, if you aren't like me and haven't watched 8 hundred different East Coast Reality shows..then maybe you can't picture the way she said "pissed off" in her accent. It's funny because saying you are "pissed" is one of those words where pretty much all LDS people either say it or they treat it like it's not a swear. Which, in my opinion, it's not a swear but my mom likes to tell us not to say it if we do. ANYWAYS, it's just one of those words that we hear all the time and it's like "whatever." But to hear someone shout it in a Brooklyn/NY accent over the pulpit at church during a testimony..TOTAL shock factor. Even I had to look down because I was so shocked and kind of embarrassed for her. People quickly got over it and we all got a good laugh at it. Not sure what the bishopric thought. I couldn't even look at them.
_____
Random but did you catch the last two episodes of New Girl?! omg. I tweeted about the Nick and Jess kiss last week. It was fantastic. Kier and I creepily had to rewind it because we couldn't believe how magical it was. It was just one of those moments where two people who were never in love or at least never admitted to themselves or anyone else that they had feelings for their good friend has this moment where something just clicks between them one day and the dude grabs the girl and just kisses her because he can. Seriously. It was great.
haha. Well, this is how Jess described it in last night's episode in her dry personality sort of way (if you know what I'm talking about).
"It was firm but tender. I saw through space and time for a moment, but that's not the point."
Seriously though, we felt it Zooey D. that was a good kiss.
annd.... done with the cheese-ball, moment.
HAPPY WEDNESDAY :)
-Nieko to Kier who had her hands between her legs by her crotch
"Where else am I supposed to put them?!" -Kier
This is a typical thing that would happen in my apartment. Everyone has a semi-dirty mind (mine being the LEAST dirty because I won the last round of Dirty Minds..anyways) so we just assume that people are being purvey or weird. She was just trying to keep her hands warm.. I think? haha but really that's not the only place to put your hands. You can put them in your pocket, fold them or even just place them on your lap :) try it.
"Were you guys talking about me?"
-Sam to this cute food worker at the mall
There are just some people who can start talking to someone and in a matter of a couple of minutes, ask for their number and it's like no big deal. Sam is one of those people. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, you just don't see it happen like that very often. Confidence, you know? But then to go back and ask for BBQ sauce, and ask if they are talking about you? omg. ...yeah. I'm done. I can not...
boys.
"OK, so what do you want to do for your last official night hanging out?" -Me
"Cuddle." -Soon to be missionary
"*haha* Ok. But really?" -me
"I was serious." -dude
Sure, I went along with it for a minute but then it was like um.. "Who wants to play Apples to Apples!?" I'm not kidding. And I hate that game. It doesn't make any sense, the rules are stupid and it's not fun. Like, at all. But we played and I sucked. Actually, I did end up winning two cards at the very end. You know how they are supposed to explain you or whatever.. my cards were "Juicy and Pure." Let's not even get started on the other words on the card that described Juicy. Meh. That's me--Juicy/Pure Jenn. Ew. Actually, I take that back. Say the word Juicy when it comes to a person or..anything actually. Did you do it?
Gross.
"You're Screamin'!"
-Kid to me at FHE
At first I didn't know what he meant. Like are you trying to give me a compliment or bash on me? I wasn't even saying anything. That's when I realized I was wearing my BRIGHTEST pink/orange hoodie and I guess it's just a little shocking for people. It's bright, I get it. That was followed by everyone commenting on the sweater for the rest of the night. Mostly dudes. I don't get it. Maybe I need to wear it more often to get their attention. #jk #mostlyweirdos #blesstheirsouls #sorrynotsorry
"She's just singing a beautiful tune."
-Kier to Liz who couldn't understand what I was quietly saying/singing
I guess Liz thought I was talking to her but I was just singing "Bandz A Make Her Dance." I guess it could be considered a beautiful tune, Kiersten Cullen. Way to see the best in all things.
...Drank.
"You look tan today."
-Coworker, Wendy
Seriously, this happens every time I don't wash my hair and just stick it in a messy bun on the top of my head. I think I've figured out that it's because when I don't wash my hair, I have to pull it all back in a pony and well, my roots are SUPER grown out so my hair around my face looks darker which makes me wonder, does my blonde wash my face out? omg. I need to get into GrassRoots next week. Like ASAP. And I need to convince myself that either it's OK to be white or it's OK to age myself in a tanning bed because since it's been winter I've worn tights or jeans everywhere and my legs are white as a ghost. I'm not joking. Or laughing. CURSE YOU TANNING MOM. *shakes fist*
"My New York accent comes out when I'm emotional or "PISSED OFF."
-Girl during her testimony over the pulpit at church.
Now, if you aren't like me and haven't watched 8 hundred different East Coast Reality shows..then maybe you can't picture the way she said "pissed off" in her accent. It's funny because saying you are "pissed" is one of those words where pretty much all LDS people either say it or they treat it like it's not a swear. Which, in my opinion, it's not a swear but my mom likes to tell us not to say it if we do. ANYWAYS, it's just one of those words that we hear all the time and it's like "whatever." But to hear someone shout it in a Brooklyn/NY accent over the pulpit at church during a testimony..TOTAL shock factor. Even I had to look down because I was so shocked and kind of embarrassed for her. People quickly got over it and we all got a good laugh at it. Not sure what the bishopric thought. I couldn't even look at them.
_____
Random but did you catch the last two episodes of New Girl?! omg. I tweeted about the Nick and Jess kiss last week. It was fantastic. Kier and I creepily had to rewind it because we couldn't believe how magical it was. It was just one of those moments where two people who were never in love or at least never admitted to themselves or anyone else that they had feelings for their good friend has this moment where something just clicks between them one day and the dude grabs the girl and just kisses her because he can. Seriously. It was great.
haha. Well, this is how Jess described it in last night's episode in her dry personality sort of way (if you know what I'm talking about).
"It was firm but tender. I saw through space and time for a moment, but that's not the point."
Seriously though, we felt it Zooey D. that was a good kiss.
annd.... done with the cheese-ball, moment.
HAPPY WEDNESDAY :)
Friday, February 1, 2013
This isn't Staples...No Easy Button.
Sometimes there are things that creep into our lives that we don't want. Like, I don't WANT to skip out on eating that treat, I don't WANT to go to work, I don't want my sister and her family to move in a couple of months, I don't want to face certain issues because it just seems easier to pretend they don't exist sometimes, I don't want to pay for rent or any other adult bill, or ever have to clean again. In my perfect [dream] world I wouldn't have too. I would have fairy God Mother to just come and make things easier and give me glamorous, free stuff. I picture her being like Oprah or something, only less black (and I mean that in the most non-racist way possible). Like, she'd come and introduce herself and be all *POOF* and things would be strictly-- "FABULOUUUUUSSS!"
--It would be my way :)
Yes, I just wished I had a Fairy God mother like Oprah.
It happened.
Even though it's nice to think about, I know that things can't just always be easy and fabulous. Even the Oprah's of this world have tough times. The girl is good but she's not that good.
I honestly believe that before we came down to this Earth we knew that life would be hard. We knew that we would be faced with some really tough challenges and we knew that life wouldn't always be "fabulous." However, I just know that we knew we could do it. Why? Because, I find it hard to believe that we would choose to come here if we thought we were going to fail miserably. That just sounds ridiculous to me. I believe that we chose the Savior's plan and we came to this Earth to try to live our lives in the best possible way we could.
...sometimes, we forget that. At least, I do. I sometimes forget why I'm here and what I'm supposed to be doing and I find myself wasting away moments being pissed off about this or that or being hateful or complaining about stupid things. Don't get too crazy--I'm not saying I'm never going to complain again. BUT I want to be more "FABULLOOUUUS" at being happy and living this life and stop wishing away so many things and moments. Even though life can seem unfair at times, it could always be worse. Sure my sister and her family is moving away and that is going to be really hard for me and our family, but I should be grateful that there are planes that can take me there (better start saving now) and that I don't have to drive a BILLION hours to get there. I should be grateful that at least we have FaceTime now and I should be grateful that our family is such a close family that we care this much.
Life just really isn't as hard as I make it sometimes.
Life does suck at times and for the last couple of weeks I've been rude, I've ignored situations, and I haven't been the best friend and sister I could be. Just so you know, I stopped mid-blog post and wrote a couple of apologies for not being supportive and understanding for a couple of things that are going on in the life of Jenn right now. I've spoken my peace and now it's time to just be OK with things and TRY to change my attitude because, whether I like it or not, (and I still don't like it), this crap is real. It's happening and life is always changing. There will always be things that we don't want to do and things that we don't understand but, they happened or they are happening so we might as well make the most out of it, learn from it, and carry on.
Along with everything else I just said, I truly believe that every hard thing we go through is crucial to our lives. The way we come out of a situation and the things we learn only help us on the path towards being the person we were sent here to become.
Everyone will just have to bare with me while I occasionally give a fake smile and am selfish from time to time...Just know, I'm going to try harder at being happier and more understanding. I promise :)
---------------------------------------
but really Oprah, home girl could use a little "Favorite Things" pick-me-up.
#holla *said like Oprah, of course.
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
How is it already Wednesday?!
"Easy, easy, we don't need no camels in here."
-Sam to Kier about her pulling up her pants too high
SICK. I just about died laughing while Kier continued to pull her pants up higher.
"{Gosh Dang it} Kiers10, Did you never watch the Disney Channel growing up?!"
-Nieko about Kier not knowing the BBMak song
We all had a tender moment singing "Until you're back here baby.... Miss you, Want you, Need you so.." and she couldn't join in. We were sad. But really, what a great song. This last summer it was one of the 69 cent songs on iTunes. We both bought it.
"Oh no, your typical Provo Tool--wife beater, beanie, pic in the mirror kind of guy."
-Amy about a POF (plenty of fish) guy.
I haven't spent much time in UC or Provo really but I don't think you really have to spend a lot of time there to conjure up an imagine of the kind of DB she was talking about. Honestly, you can find these guys everywhere. It was just funny that she said "Provo Tool." I think only people from Utah would understand the specific type of guy, though. vomit.
"Let's act like rich folk and get bagels." -Cole *insert sarcasm/excitement*
"...Cole, you are the funniest boy." -Kier
There's something about Sundance that makes people around here think they are more hipster and classy than they probably really are on any other week of the year. Don't get me wrong, there aren't too many things I love more than going to the movies so I enjoyed going and seeing the preview of "Jobs" starring the fab Ashton Kutcher (which I thought was great btw). The problem was just some of the people. Sure, go ahead, be "free living," don't shower, wear those non prescription nerd glasses that look like you jacked them from the Megaplex showing of Texas Chainsaw 3D and popped the lenses out and do what you want... that's cute and great. But just be who you are EVERYDAY. Don't be a huge poser :) k? omg another example--when girls who've never been on a farm in their entire life go and deck themselves out in western wear just to go to the rodeos in the summer. It weirds me out a little.
omg. #rant. Back to the comment above:
Cole was so funny^^.. Of course it was sarcasm because like I was trying to say before I went off, Sundance just has this "feel" to it, if that makes sense. Whatever. I don't get it.
Kier's right. Cole's a funny boy.
"What did you just say? Papaya, Papaya?"
-Cole
He really wasn't hearing right that day. Like, at all. I don't remember exactly what I said but it had nothing to do with fruit. Esp Papaya. Like, what the?
"I'm not reading your twits."
-Erin
Of course you can imagine my reaction when I looked up from the TWEET I was writing. Twits? I seriously can not get over that. Sure, not everyone's on Twitter but anyone who reads the news, owns a TV, and is American should know that you "tweet" not "twit." I suppose I will cut you some slack if you're over 50, but that's pushing it. This has come up a few times and quite frankly, I'm concerned.
#Twitter #Fordays
"I didn't see you yawning did I? Are you tired?"
-Random (older) guy at the gas pump opposite mine.
Gah! Can someone please help me understand why I only turn the heads of creepy old dudes and mexicans? And why is it always when I'm driving or at the gas station? It's a weird pattern that I'm realizing. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a random conversation and a friendly "hello" just as much as the next person but who asks someone if they are tired? Can't you just say hello, comment on the weather or say "have a good night" if you have to say anything at all. I just feel like asking someone that you've never seen before, if they are tired is a little odd. This isn't all that he said to me. And he kept looking over the gas pump all weird like. I was friendly back to him of course, but I just feel like whether I'm a sleepy girl or not is my own business. I responded with something like "about that time" and quickly went on my way before he could keep the conversation going even more. odd night at the Maverick.
"YOUuuuu must be her sister?! :)"
-Random neighbor dude to me as I was dropping off a treat to the girl I'm suppose to be Visit Teach.
She wasn't at her apartment and homeboy was just kicking it outside of his neighboring apartment smoking a cig. I decided I was just going to leave the treat outside of her door (hoping he wouldn't steal it.) I didn't think about his comment until I was back in my car and on my way home... you see, this girl Asian. Actually, I'm not 100 % sure what she is, but she sure the heck isn't white. Which I am. 100%. The guy was either really confused or he smoking something a little stronger. meh.
"YOUuuuu must be her sister?! :)"
-Random neighbor dude to me as I was dropping off a treat to the girl I'm suppose to be Visit Teach.
She wasn't at her apartment and homeboy was just kicking it outside of his neighboring apartment smoking a cig. I decided I was just going to leave the treat outside of her door (hoping he wouldn't steal it.) I didn't think about his comment until I was back in my car and on my way home... you see, this girl Asian. Actually, I'm not 100 % sure what she is, but she sure the heck isn't white. Which I am. 100%. The guy was either really confused or he smoking something a little stronger. meh.
"You wanna know something else that's true about me? I have small boobs."
-Mandy
At first I thought that I would keep this one anonymous but it's not like someone's boob size is really a secret, which, makes her comment even more hilarious. Plus, I lived with her for a year and a half. Boobs aren't a secret ESPECIALLY to the people you live with.
Boobs. That reminds me of this one roommate we had my Sophomore year of college who honestly had THE largest natural boobs I've ever seen. (I say natural because we've all seen Big Ang--woof) Her name was Emily. I don't remember a lot about living with her but I do remember those boobs (and that her mom was a Wiccan, but that's beside the point.) Emily would always lift her ta-tas up to her face and smell them. I know. It still makes me shiver to think about it to this day. Why did she do that? Boob sweat, I guess. Actually, I know that's why because she legit had boob DEODORANT that's she'd put on multiple times a day. She was a little different to say the least but we had so much fun laughing about her boob issues for that entire semester. To her face, of course.
Fact. Boobs aren't a secret.
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Return of the VBS
Remember when I used to do what I liked to call Virtual B Slaps (VBS)? Well, I used to do them all the time. I think I even did a post a while back where I talked about how I wanted to stop doing them because I was trying to be "more loving" or something like that. Don't get me wrong, I totally meant it back then, and I actually did a really good job of not doing them for quite a while [yay me]. But here's the thing...Sometimes texting about a situation to someone else, or posting on your FB as a way to give another person a "Virtual middle finger" doesn't make you feel better. After that, when you know that you can't say anything to someone's face because you aren't directly involved, then all you have left is to rant on your blog.
Calling all amateurs -listen up.
Social Media Stalking 101.
Fact. We're all guilty of FB stalking. It's not a big deal, really. But if I can give you any tip at all, it's this--If you're going back more than a couple weeks of someone's crap...like searching through EVERY single picture/status that was posted over the last year, ESPECIALLY if you are in the picture, DON'T go in and "like" those pictures unless you want the person to know that you are thinking about them or that you're bored and stalking their life and what used to be. I don't care if you dated them or not, actually. It's weird.
I know there are some relationships where you could get away with it but if you are an EX bf/gf and you happen to still be "virtual friends" (for stalking purposes or you just didn't want things to get awkward by defriending and you), and you go ahead and do this ^, then you might as well call them up on the phone and confess that you're missing them and wanting to get back together... common sense right?
it's either that OR that you just want to start drama (especially if you know the new bf/gf.)
So that leads me to something else....The topic of BF/GF relationships in general. I've never had a boy friend, that's not news, but either are the following things:
Jenn's Not-so-New guide on
Relationships and Not Being Stupid.
1-Commit to your decisions.
If you break up with someone and things aren't really left on the best of terms, you have to MOVE on. You can't decide a few months down the road (after the other person is in another relationship) that you took what you had for granted and long to have that back and silently start crap. That's not fair. YOU were the one who called it off. Sorry, but you have to live with your decision. Besides, chances are that person probably doesn't have the best of feelings for you anyways. They've moved on so you might as well do yourself a favor and do the same.
Love is hard sometimes... So don't make it harder on yourself and long for something that will never be. If you've tried, you've said the things you need to say, then it's over. Move on. Either that, or just sit their and let your heart continue to break. My advice is to find a hobby. Find anything to keep yourself busy so people won't think you're pathetic. (harsh? maybe. But you know you think that about other people sometimes. Truth hurts.)
2-Tell the Truth. Always make sure you have your facts straight about what used to be. If you're going to lie to someone else about a past or current relationship(s), you better be sure that it's not going to get back to that person. How embarrassing for you, if you do this. We live in a world where people know more than they want to know about people they haven't seen in years. Why? Because everyone lays most of their crap out on FB/Twitter/Instagram. Not everyone shares everything, but girls are the worst at it especially when it comes to relationships. We know when you started dating, when you're fighting, when you broke it off...heck, we probably know what you both had for dinner the night before...so don't think that we didn't know how "serious" your last relationship was or that you're sad that the other person's moved on and you haven't. We know. People talk..so no sense in lying about it.
3-Don't be Jealous. Be Confident.
When did every girl start being so jealous all the time? SO, you aren't happy because you don't have a boy friend? Grow up. Pull yourself together. You being in a relationship should not determine your happiness. You get to decide if you are going to be happy when you wake up in the morning, that's the best part about agency. You get to choose how to feel :) It's fantastic! So if you can't find it in yourself to be happy, please don't go and try to get under other people's skin and make them unhappy just like you. We could all do a little bit better at letting people be happy.
4- Just say it!
If you have something to say to someone and you know that it will help, you have to just say it. You can do it in a kind way, but you won't feel better or less ticked off until you get it off your chest. This one can be hard, I understand that... but if I sat back and didn't say what I thought/felt over the last 4 years, I would be a sad, lonely and pathetic girl. We're too hard on ourselves sometimes. We think that we are rude if we are calling people out and we don't want to be rude, but the way I see it is that I like to know the truth, so I would think other people would like to know as well. We don't have to say it in a mean way, but sometimes people won't stop or fix something until they are called out on their BS. Those people are usually wanting attention anyways. So my rule is.. if it's truth and it will help someone (even if that person is you) then just say it!
Say it and carry on! Just be sure your figure out what you're going to say before hand...
Let them know that you might not know the situation 100% but tell them how you see things and see what they come back with. Maybe there isn't as big of a problem to begin with. But if there is, at least you're giving them and yourself a chance to actually solve the problem instead of prolonging it and pretending there isn't a problem every time you see this person. That's the only way a resolution can be made.
It's like that one time a long while back when I heard that someone had a problem with me and was talking bad about me my BFF behind my back. I had her number. I called her up and simply said, "Do you have a problem with me?" Sure, she was caught off guard and lied about it but I gave her a chance to tell me what her problem was. If there would have been something I did, I would have apologized and we could have moved on. But in reality she was just a biotch. BUT, the best part was that she knew that I wasn't going to let her do that to me. Talk shiz for no reason, get called out. People prey on the weak. So don't be weak :)
OK, so I guess lastly I need to address the "starting drama topic" real quick. Some people might say that this post is starting drama (about someone who was intentionally trying to start drama) or that I'm getting my nose into other people's business. But the thing is, when it comes to my family and my close friends i'm super loyal and I would do anything for them. BUT, sometimes there are certain problems you can't solve for the people you love. So this is just me venting ..on a PUBLIC blog, I might add. I never mean to really hurt anyone or make them unhappy by anything I say or do but I know there are people in this world who are selfish and/or miserable and they prey on people who are happy. Now that I really sit and think about it.. I feel bad for them because they truly put themselves in that situation.
My advice...get rid of toxic people/things in your life. You don't need them. At the end of the day, we are in control of our own happiness. Decide what you are going to let bother you. If you can't look over something and you find yourself wanting to junk punch someone.. use your words before you actually do the junk punching. (or at least capture that crap on video and put it on Youtube so I can watch. haha) We're all human and we all just want to be happy. Whether we let stupid people of this world get under out skin, is up to us.
[wow.. I didn't think I'd come out of there learning something. hmm. Basically over it and probably shouldn't even hit "publish" but I will anyways because how will I ever remember this lesson down the road.]
But still. Goal for everyone for the week--Try to suck less.
Calling all amateurs -listen up.
Social Media Stalking 101.
Fact. We're all guilty of FB stalking. It's not a big deal, really. But if I can give you any tip at all, it's this--If you're going back more than a couple weeks of someone's crap...like searching through EVERY single picture/status that was posted over the last year, ESPECIALLY if you are in the picture, DON'T go in and "like" those pictures unless you want the person to know that you are thinking about them or that you're bored and stalking their life and what used to be. I don't care if you dated them or not, actually. It's weird.
I know there are some relationships where you could get away with it but if you are an EX bf/gf and you happen to still be "virtual friends" (for stalking purposes or you just didn't want things to get awkward by defriending and you), and you go ahead and do this ^, then you might as well call them up on the phone and confess that you're missing them and wanting to get back together... common sense right?
it's either that OR that you just want to start drama (especially if you know the new bf/gf.)
So that leads me to something else....The topic of BF/GF relationships in general. I've never had a boy friend, that's not news, but either are the following things:
Jenn's Not-so-New guide on
Relationships and Not Being Stupid.
1-Commit to your decisions.
If you break up with someone and things aren't really left on the best of terms, you have to MOVE on. You can't decide a few months down the road (after the other person is in another relationship) that you took what you had for granted and long to have that back and silently start crap. That's not fair. YOU were the one who called it off. Sorry, but you have to live with your decision. Besides, chances are that person probably doesn't have the best of feelings for you anyways. They've moved on so you might as well do yourself a favor and do the same.
Love is hard sometimes... So don't make it harder on yourself and long for something that will never be. If you've tried, you've said the things you need to say, then it's over. Move on. Either that, or just sit their and let your heart continue to break. My advice is to find a hobby. Find anything to keep yourself busy so people won't think you're pathetic. (harsh? maybe. But you know you think that about other people sometimes. Truth hurts.)
2-Tell the Truth. Always make sure you have your facts straight about what used to be. If you're going to lie to someone else about a past or current relationship(s), you better be sure that it's not going to get back to that person. How embarrassing for you, if you do this. We live in a world where people know more than they want to know about people they haven't seen in years. Why? Because everyone lays most of their crap out on FB/Twitter/Instagram. Not everyone shares everything, but girls are the worst at it especially when it comes to relationships. We know when you started dating, when you're fighting, when you broke it off...heck, we probably know what you both had for dinner the night before...so don't think that we didn't know how "serious" your last relationship was or that you're sad that the other person's moved on and you haven't. We know. People talk..so no sense in lying about it.
3-Don't be Jealous. Be Confident.
When did every girl start being so jealous all the time? SO, you aren't happy because you don't have a boy friend? Grow up. Pull yourself together. You being in a relationship should not determine your happiness. You get to decide if you are going to be happy when you wake up in the morning, that's the best part about agency. You get to choose how to feel :) It's fantastic! So if you can't find it in yourself to be happy, please don't go and try to get under other people's skin and make them unhappy just like you. We could all do a little bit better at letting people be happy.
4- Just say it!
If you have something to say to someone and you know that it will help, you have to just say it. You can do it in a kind way, but you won't feel better or less ticked off until you get it off your chest. This one can be hard, I understand that... but if I sat back and didn't say what I thought/felt over the last 4 years, I would be a sad, lonely and pathetic girl. We're too hard on ourselves sometimes. We think that we are rude if we are calling people out and we don't want to be rude, but the way I see it is that I like to know the truth, so I would think other people would like to know as well. We don't have to say it in a mean way, but sometimes people won't stop or fix something until they are called out on their BS. Those people are usually wanting attention anyways. So my rule is.. if it's truth and it will help someone (even if that person is you) then just say it!
Say it and carry on! Just be sure your figure out what you're going to say before hand...
Let them know that you might not know the situation 100% but tell them how you see things and see what they come back with. Maybe there isn't as big of a problem to begin with. But if there is, at least you're giving them and yourself a chance to actually solve the problem instead of prolonging it and pretending there isn't a problem every time you see this person. That's the only way a resolution can be made.
It's like that one time a long while back when I heard that someone had a problem with me and was talking bad about me my BFF behind my back. I had her number. I called her up and simply said, "Do you have a problem with me?" Sure, she was caught off guard and lied about it but I gave her a chance to tell me what her problem was. If there would have been something I did, I would have apologized and we could have moved on. But in reality she was just a biotch. BUT, the best part was that she knew that I wasn't going to let her do that to me. Talk shiz for no reason, get called out. People prey on the weak. So don't be weak :)
OK, so I guess lastly I need to address the "starting drama topic" real quick. Some people might say that this post is starting drama (about someone who was intentionally trying to start drama) or that I'm getting my nose into other people's business. But the thing is, when it comes to my family and my close friends i'm super loyal and I would do anything for them. BUT, sometimes there are certain problems you can't solve for the people you love. So this is just me venting ..on a PUBLIC blog, I might add. I never mean to really hurt anyone or make them unhappy by anything I say or do but I know there are people in this world who are selfish and/or miserable and they prey on people who are happy. Now that I really sit and think about it.. I feel bad for them because they truly put themselves in that situation.
My advice...get rid of toxic people/things in your life. You don't need them. At the end of the day, we are in control of our own happiness. Decide what you are going to let bother you. If you can't look over something and you find yourself wanting to junk punch someone.. use your words before you actually do the junk punching. (or at least capture that crap on video and put it on Youtube so I can watch. haha) We're all human and we all just want to be happy. Whether we let stupid people of this world get under out skin, is up to us.
[wow.. I didn't think I'd come out of there learning something. hmm. Basically over it and probably shouldn't even hit "publish" but I will anyways because how will I ever remember this lesson down the road.]
But still. Goal for everyone for the week--Try to suck less.
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Wednesday
It's been brought to my attention that I haven't been doing the best job at posting lately. Apparently a few people actually like reading what I have to say. Who knew. Well, I've decided to do a better job at posting for the next week. We'll see how it goes... actually today probably wasn't a good day to start. Meh.
"Yeah. I got the music in me."
-Nieko
First of all, I'm stupid for not writing down what we were talking about/doing when he said this. I know we were just hanging out but I can just hear him saying it in my head. It's funny mostly because he said it so matter-of-factly.. like *shrug shoulders* "it's whatever" kind of thing. funny.
"Everyone can't be Snoop Dogg."
-Savanna talking about making a life for yourself while choosing a pot smoking life.
Our conversation that day was actually kind of serious...talking about some stupid HS drama and how we just don't understand what people are thinking when they decide that they are going to go past "experimenting" (not saying that I agree with that either) but that they are going to just try to breeze through the most crucial times of their lives stoned. That conversation turned comical when she mentioned Snoop Dogg. (Or, Snoop Lion, if you will. Don't get me started. smh) What a gem--Getting paid to be "awesome." The point is, do what you want, BUT at least have some direction and a passion and make something of yourself. I mean, he has music. wait, he's been in a lot of movies too? Actually. Scratch all of this. I'm not 100% sure what his main focus is these days and quite frankly he kind of weirds me out.
Or maybe I'm just secretly jealous that I didn't become famous for adding "-izzle" to everything?
Fo shizzle.
..turn it up a little. Ok, sue me. I like some of his stuff. DANG it.
"Isn't it so good though?!" -Alex
"....the cake?" *insert the "eat your feelings"/depressed/sad face*
-Yeah my name is written all over that one.
He was really referring to the musical, "Next To Normal" that we were watching at the time but it was intermission and we had snuck in a piece of Starbucks Lemon Cake, and since I'm a baby and the show really hit home with me, Yes...I only had the cake on my mind at that moment. We got a good laugh out of it. People starred. It's whatever. #eatyourfeelings
"I'm going to go write your name in the snow."
-Chris
Yes. He was talking about peeing my name in the snow, which, I found out later he actually started...until a car drove by.. We'll leave it at that. smh. oh, my friends.
"I just....."
-Nieko talking to me as if I didn't JUST see what happened.
haha. Some days you can be all "oh yeah, look at me, #winning" , and some days you suck. It's life.
Oh yeah, and sometimes you want to poke your eyeballs out too. It's whatever. ;) xoxo
"I thought I was going to be the 'DANiconda' but I ended up being the 'DANgina.'"
-Dan from the TV show "Making Mr. Right."
hahaha. this guy on the show is SO weird which made the above comment even funnier to me. Actually, the show is weird and I only watch it because it seems like it's going to be train wreck.
"I thought it was just because I'm left handed."
-Sam talking about something that only a few people will understand.
Thank you Easton for educating us.. but especially the boys, who now know a little more about their bodies. smh.
"Kiers10, Jenn is going to put you on blast on her blog tomorrow." -Nieko
"What's blast?" -Kier
hahahhahahah. Excuse me for a minute while I do just that:
"My baaaaaaaad."
-Kier while turning BEET red after asking Sam if he still had diarrhea...
in FRONT of his little gf.
hahaha this was the best. She was so embarrassed but I don't blame her. I mean, I would too if I realized that I had just put my friend ON BLAST in front of someone he likes.
Dear Kier, do you get it yet ? ;) If not, here's the LEGIT {Urban Dictionary} definition:
I just have to say that if any of you ever think that I'm putting you on blast...don't be embarrassed. Just be grateful I don't say who I'm really referring too in all of my other posts :) #angel
Oh, and I'll leave you with my favorite "farewell" quote by Nieko right as he exited my apartment last night.
"Rest easy...until I break into your house and kill you."
hahaha. (Said to Kiers10 of course ;)) #nightmare.
Happy Wednesday, fools.
"Yeah. I got the music in me."
-Nieko
First of all, I'm stupid for not writing down what we were talking about/doing when he said this. I know we were just hanging out but I can just hear him saying it in my head. It's funny mostly because he said it so matter-of-factly.. like *shrug shoulders* "it's whatever" kind of thing. funny.
"Everyone can't be Snoop Dogg."
-Savanna talking about making a life for yourself while choosing a pot smoking life.
Our conversation that day was actually kind of serious...talking about some stupid HS drama and how we just don't understand what people are thinking when they decide that they are going to go past "experimenting" (not saying that I agree with that either) but that they are going to just try to breeze through the most crucial times of their lives stoned. That conversation turned comical when she mentioned Snoop Dogg. (Or, Snoop Lion, if you will. Don't get me started. smh) What a gem--Getting paid to be "awesome." The point is, do what you want, BUT at least have some direction and a passion and make something of yourself. I mean, he has music. wait, he's been in a lot of movies too? Actually. Scratch all of this. I'm not 100% sure what his main focus is these days and quite frankly he kind of weirds me out.
Or maybe I'm just secretly jealous that I didn't become famous for adding "-izzle" to everything?
Fo shizzle.
..turn it up a little. Ok, sue me. I like some of his stuff. DANG it.
"Isn't it so good though?!" -Alex
"....the cake?" *insert the "eat your feelings"/depressed/sad face*
-Yeah my name is written all over that one.
He was really referring to the musical, "Next To Normal" that we were watching at the time but it was intermission and we had snuck in a piece of Starbucks Lemon Cake, and since I'm a baby and the show really hit home with me, Yes...I only had the cake on my mind at that moment. We got a good laugh out of it. People starred. It's whatever. #eatyourfeelings
"I'm going to go write your name in the snow."
-Chris
Yes. He was talking about peeing my name in the snow, which, I found out later he actually started...until a car drove by.. We'll leave it at that. smh. oh, my friends.
"I just....."
-Nieko talking to me as if I didn't JUST see what happened.
haha. Some days you can be all "oh yeah, look at me, #winning" , and some days you suck. It's life.
Oh yeah, and sometimes you want to poke your eyeballs out too. It's whatever. ;) xoxo
"I thought I was going to be the 'DANiconda' but I ended up being the 'DANgina.'"
-Dan from the TV show "Making Mr. Right."
hahaha. this guy on the show is SO weird which made the above comment even funnier to me. Actually, the show is weird and I only watch it because it seems like it's going to be train wreck.
"I thought it was just because I'm left handed."
-Sam talking about something that only a few people will understand.
Thank you Easton for educating us.. but especially the boys, who now know a little more about their bodies. smh.
"Kiers10, Jenn is going to put you on blast on her blog tomorrow." -Nieko
"What's blast?" -Kier
hahahhahahah. Excuse me for a minute while I do just that:
"My baaaaaaaad."
-Kier while turning BEET red after asking Sam if he still had diarrhea...
in FRONT of his little gf.
hahaha this was the best. She was so embarrassed but I don't blame her. I mean, I would too if I realized that I had just put my friend ON BLAST in front of someone he likes.
Dear Kier, do you get it yet ? ;) If not, here's the LEGIT {Urban Dictionary} definition:
| put on blast | 302 up, 70 down | |
to be called out for something; to have some information about you put out in the open in an embarrassing manner.
Boy 1: Ayo, breathe easy on the insults!
girl 1: Like the way you was BREATHING EASY and snoring 2 minutes after we first started sexing? Boy 2: AHAHAHAHAHA DAMNNNN SON YOU GOT PUT ON BLAST!! SHE LET ALL YOUR STUFF OUT IN THE OPEN! | ||
I just have to say that if any of you ever think that I'm putting you on blast...don't be embarrassed. Just be grateful I don't say who I'm really referring too in all of my other posts :) #angel
Oh, and I'll leave you with my favorite "farewell" quote by Nieko right as he exited my apartment last night.
"Rest easy...until I break into your house and kill you."
hahaha. (Said to Kiers10 of course ;)) #nightmare.
Happy Wednesday, fools.
Monday, January 21, 2013
Gunk.
I'm just going to type.
List form?
OK.
1.) I'm not depressed. I've been feeling like my posts have been super 'depressing' lately. I don't mean for them to be that way and really, I'm not depressed. I just have so much crap going on [like I know everyone does] right now so I've been having a lot more thoughts and so when that happens, I write them down more. Geez, I really need to start writing more when I have positive and happy things to say. Anyways, I just want to let you know that I'm not depressed. I'm going through a little bit of crap...From figuring out what I need to be doing next, to being disappointed with people I care about, all the way to finding out that a few of the dearest people in my life might be moving really far away from me for a while. It's been a really hard week altogether but I love realizing how strong I really am. It sounds kind of dumb but it's amazing how no matter what I go through, it really isn't anything that I can't handle with a little time, patience and prayer. I still continue to get up every morning and live my life because I have some pretty great things to live for. See--totally not depressed. Just dealin' ;)
2.) Although, I'm not depressed, I do find myself feeling a little tired. I'm tired of caring so much about people's feelings and about their futures and what they are doing [or not doing] in their lives. I'm tired of putting myself second. And honestly, I'm working on doing better at this. But the truth is that behind all of "THIS" that makes up who Jenn is as a person.. it's really just a while lot of heart. I love my family and my close friends and at the end of the day I just want them to be smart and I just want them to be happy. I think I might let my heart get too involved in certain people's lives. Loving certain people too much has kind of been my curse, but I suppose it's a good curse to have.
3.) I've realized that I am really good at being truthful with others and being super realistic with them but when it comes to myself, I kind of super suck at it. Sometimes I flat out lie to myself and I don't mean too. I think, "you'll be fine," "It's not a big deal to do this/say that," "You're just confusing your feelings ..you don't really.. you couldn't." I think this is an issue I've dealt with for a pretty long time. You can call it poor confidence or whatever you want to call it but it doesn't change the fact that it's there. I feel like I'm the smartest person when it comes to giving other people advice but, when it comes to myself....I'm lame. Maybe that's how most people are? We don't want to believe our inner most feelings sometimes because we know that if we hold it in then we can just keep life the same way it is and we don't have to worry about falling on our face even harder and getting hurt. The crappy part of that plan is that we risk the chance of being happier and getting what our heart really wants. It's rough, I know.
So the confession of the day is that when it comes to others, I'm a pretty honest and realistic person... but when it comes down to me? I'm the worst liar.
I could sit here and tell you that the one thing you are thinking about right now, that thing that you haven't said out loud or admitted you want to do..that you should just go out and do it and see what happens. But I can't do that because I'd be a hypocrite when it comes to just a couple of things. But it doesn't have to be that way...haha.
baby steps.
4.) While talking to my mom yesterday morning on the phone she told me about how my dad starting talking to her about me the night before right out of the blue. He expressed his concern for me and said, "she deserves better." I just love my dad. He's gotten soft in his older years but I love how much he loves his children even though we don't see him very often or really talk to him on the phone (mom relay's the messages) but I know how much he loves me. I can't help but feel the love of my Heavenly Father through him. Think about it. If my earthy Father loves me this much, and I have so many other people who love me how much must my Heavenly Father love me? A whole lot. Enough to send me here to wonderful parents who raised me to know that things I know and to help get me to this exact moment in my life, having learned the lessons that I've learned, and met the people I've met and making me the person that I am. I know that my Heavenly parents and Earthly parents want the best for me and I'm really trying to be the great person they see when they think about me. I'm far from how great they think I am but my goal is to become that person. And it's hard. But it's nice to know that I have great people who are cheering for me and want the best for me.
5.) Sometimes we do stupid things and get ourselves into stupid situations. I, for example, do them all the time. But as a goal, I'm going to try and not rehash them once the lesson is learned because I know that the only way that we can move forward and learn from our mistakes is when we leave them behind and let ourselves (and others) move on. BUT, I've learned that if you don't change anything, no matter how small the change is, you'll find yourself back in the same situation again, repeating the cycle. It's rough, believe me, I know. I guess it's just figuring out what is worth it...
Actually, I'm just going to stop there. I think that's really what it's all about. All the things I've been thinking about lately and all the inner conflict I've been having, the question I've really needed to be asking myself is, "Is it worth it?" Are people worth fighting for? Will it really matter if I keep going down a certain path or do I need to make changes (big or small) so I can get to where I want to be? Is what I say I'm fighting for really worth it?
WHAT are we fighting for?
true happiness, I suppose.
Sure, people will come and go, we'll find ourselves doing stupid things that might make us think we are "happy" for a little bit, or being jealous for reasons we have no control over, or so involved in other people's lives that we forget about our own... We'll have things we want to say or do but we know we can't because it's not going to get us where we eventually want to be...or we can keep lying to ourselves saying that if we keep going the way we are going that things will be "fine," ..but is "fine" good enough?
We have to remember what we are capable of and what we REALLY want out of life.
If you've forgotten what that is, search for it.
Figure it out and ....
Keep fighting.
List form?
OK.
1.) I'm not depressed. I've been feeling like my posts have been super 'depressing' lately. I don't mean for them to be that way and really, I'm not depressed. I just have so much crap going on [like I know everyone does] right now so I've been having a lot more thoughts and so when that happens, I write them down more. Geez, I really need to start writing more when I have positive and happy things to say. Anyways, I just want to let you know that I'm not depressed. I'm going through a little bit of crap...From figuring out what I need to be doing next, to being disappointed with people I care about, all the way to finding out that a few of the dearest people in my life might be moving really far away from me for a while. It's been a really hard week altogether but I love realizing how strong I really am. It sounds kind of dumb but it's amazing how no matter what I go through, it really isn't anything that I can't handle with a little time, patience and prayer. I still continue to get up every morning and live my life because I have some pretty great things to live for. See--totally not depressed. Just dealin' ;)
2.) Although, I'm not depressed, I do find myself feeling a little tired. I'm tired of caring so much about people's feelings and about their futures and what they are doing [or not doing] in their lives. I'm tired of putting myself second. And honestly, I'm working on doing better at this. But the truth is that behind all of "THIS" that makes up who Jenn is as a person.. it's really just a while lot of heart. I love my family and my close friends and at the end of the day I just want them to be smart and I just want them to be happy. I think I might let my heart get too involved in certain people's lives. Loving certain people too much has kind of been my curse, but I suppose it's a good curse to have.
3.) I've realized that I am really good at being truthful with others and being super realistic with them but when it comes to myself, I kind of super suck at it. Sometimes I flat out lie to myself and I don't mean too. I think, "you'll be fine," "It's not a big deal to do this/say that," "You're just confusing your feelings ..you don't really.. you couldn't." I think this is an issue I've dealt with for a pretty long time. You can call it poor confidence or whatever you want to call it but it doesn't change the fact that it's there. I feel like I'm the smartest person when it comes to giving other people advice but, when it comes to myself....I'm lame. Maybe that's how most people are? We don't want to believe our inner most feelings sometimes because we know that if we hold it in then we can just keep life the same way it is and we don't have to worry about falling on our face even harder and getting hurt. The crappy part of that plan is that we risk the chance of being happier and getting what our heart really wants. It's rough, I know.
So the confession of the day is that when it comes to others, I'm a pretty honest and realistic person... but when it comes down to me? I'm the worst liar.
I could sit here and tell you that the one thing you are thinking about right now, that thing that you haven't said out loud or admitted you want to do..that you should just go out and do it and see what happens. But I can't do that because I'd be a hypocrite when it comes to just a couple of things. But it doesn't have to be that way...haha.
baby steps.
4.) While talking to my mom yesterday morning on the phone she told me about how my dad starting talking to her about me the night before right out of the blue. He expressed his concern for me and said, "she deserves better." I just love my dad. He's gotten soft in his older years but I love how much he loves his children even though we don't see him very often or really talk to him on the phone (mom relay's the messages) but I know how much he loves me. I can't help but feel the love of my Heavenly Father through him. Think about it. If my earthy Father loves me this much, and I have so many other people who love me how much must my Heavenly Father love me? A whole lot. Enough to send me here to wonderful parents who raised me to know that things I know and to help get me to this exact moment in my life, having learned the lessons that I've learned, and met the people I've met and making me the person that I am. I know that my Heavenly parents and Earthly parents want the best for me and I'm really trying to be the great person they see when they think about me. I'm far from how great they think I am but my goal is to become that person. And it's hard. But it's nice to know that I have great people who are cheering for me and want the best for me.
5.) Sometimes we do stupid things and get ourselves into stupid situations. I, for example, do them all the time. But as a goal, I'm going to try and not rehash them once the lesson is learned because I know that the only way that we can move forward and learn from our mistakes is when we leave them behind and let ourselves (and others) move on. BUT, I've learned that if you don't change anything, no matter how small the change is, you'll find yourself back in the same situation again, repeating the cycle. It's rough, believe me, I know. I guess it's just figuring out what is worth it...
Actually, I'm just going to stop there. I think that's really what it's all about. All the things I've been thinking about lately and all the inner conflict I've been having, the question I've really needed to be asking myself is, "Is it worth it?" Are people worth fighting for? Will it really matter if I keep going down a certain path or do I need to make changes (big or small) so I can get to where I want to be? Is what I say I'm fighting for really worth it?
WHAT are we fighting for?
true happiness, I suppose.
Sure, people will come and go, we'll find ourselves doing stupid things that might make us think we are "happy" for a little bit, or being jealous for reasons we have no control over, or so involved in other people's lives that we forget about our own... We'll have things we want to say or do but we know we can't because it's not going to get us where we eventually want to be...or we can keep lying to ourselves saying that if we keep going the way we are going that things will be "fine," ..but is "fine" good enough?
We have to remember what we are capable of and what we REALLY want out of life.
If you've forgotten what that is, search for it.
Figure it out and ....
Keep fighting.
Sunday, January 13, 2013
The Truth about Trust.
The truth is...just because someone says they love you, it doesn't mean they won't hurt you or lie to you at some point in your life. It happens to people all the time and I never really understood it at all.
I firmly believe that people deserve a second chance to be understood. So, no matter which side of it you are on..don't give up on people you love, but don't go handing out your trust for free.
But why does it hurt so much more when it comes from the people we love the most? The only thing I've been able to come up with yet is that it's because we love them so much and think so highly of them that we become disappointed in them--shocked, even.
Simply stated: it hurts more because we love them more.
I just think it's funny that at 25 I'm just barely starting to grasp this concept. But I'm learning more and more everyday.
Like, I've learned that we don't know exactly what some people are going through. So maybe you got burned by someone you love...It's easy to wash your hands clean of people who you don't care about as much. I guess I kind of get why people keep going back to Ex's in some of these TV shows I've been watching. Because, even though someone did wrong by them..they love that person so much that they have to give them another chance.
Sure, it's easy to lose trust, and harder to gain it back... but the best part is that it CAN be earned back. I'm not saying that it will be easy, but you just have to start admitting to the "why's," ask for help and forgiveness, and realize that lying won't get you ANYWHERE in the end.
I firmly believe that people deserve a second chance to be understood. So, no matter which side of it you are on..don't give up on people you love, but don't go handing out your trust for free.
------But when it comes to me...all I need is for you to tell me why and to help me understand and I promise I won't give up on you...because I love you :)
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
I'm glad I got to be in High School before everyone and their grandma had Facebook, Smart phones and Unlimited texting.
{I understand that the post title makes me sound old and I'm OK with that.}
I got my first cell phone during the last half of freshman year. But guess what.. not many people my age had one. It was basically for calling my mom to let her know that I was done with Softball practice, for other emergencies, and for looking "cool." I guess it was kind of cool then but we'd totally laugh now. I mean, if you think black and white screen (not even a flip phone yet) with polyphonic ring tones is cool, then that's what I was. Oh but let's not overlook that it had this really sweet Lion pixel graphic that would come up on the screen; It was awesome.
Technology was starting to rock our socks and I was right there to witness it all. Ok, so that was back in 2003 when I remember having to pay 10 cents for each text. Sooo...we didn't really text yet. In fact, I don't really remember texting a lot in High School anyways. Maybe just toward the end of it a little? Like, senior year. whatever. I do know that it wasn't our main form of communication like it is now. But oh, do I remember Myspace. ... Myspace was cool.
Other things I remember:
-Getting my Facebook in 2006 and thinking it wasn't as cool as Myspace because 1-I couldn't have my top 8 friends (don't lie, that was a big deal) and 2-No more designing my profile background page? LAAAAAME.
-T9 was the shiz and you know it.
-You didn't have to text people for everything. You made solid plans with people in person...or you called them. Sounds like a nightmare to some people now.
I could go on. It sounds weird, but in a lot of ways, things were easier back then. Don't get me wrong, I love FB, Twitter, Texting, iMessage, Instagram ect.. (omg see what I mean so many different mediums) and they are great tools to help you stay connected with people and so much more. But the sad part is how addicted we ALL are to it. I'll be honest...I probably couldn't even go on a 2 day Social Network Fast without feeling disconnected. #Socialnetworkjunkie
My point of writing all of this stuff down is so I remember years down the road, of course, but also because I can't get over how much it's changed people and the way we live. Not only has it changed our relationships with people and the way that we communicate... but the thing that bothers me a lot right now is how it's completely changed the High School experience for these teenagers.
Most teens are brats...
{Let's ignore the fact that I sound old again.}
I mentioned in this week's Wednesday post about a mom who Jamie wanted to "punch in the Lady Balls," right? Well this is all stemming from that and similar stories. See, I have friends who have siblings in HS still, and I have a niece who's a Junior so I hear new drama every week, I swear. This week's dramatics weren't even the worst but I have to kind of chuckle at it because it's so crazy and so typical of these days. This week it was Regan being accused of "keying" her ex boyfriends car (of course it was a couple of mom's getting involved and blowing it up even though Regan promises she didn't do it and she knows who did it. Throw in some pot stirring and flat out lying and you basically get the sum of it) but other times it's "So-and-so calling 'what's her whore-butt' super nasty names on Facebook" or "That one 'hussy' spreading flat out LIES (starting on facebook and texts I'm sure) about the head cheerleader having sex with her Mormon boyfriend.."
I could go on and on about how kids have changed. And I don't really blame them. I just feel bad for them because of how much more dramatic things have become now and for all the distractions that keep them from being "a kid" in HS. Sure, high school was rough for us too in High School 6-7 years ago but not like this. Stuff like this didn't happen. Sure, we were dramatic, there were random hook ups, a few girl fights in the parking lot and the occasional "lover's spat" in the hallway... And yes, we talked about people behind their backs... but we didn't have all the resources that these kids have now. They text about it, post it on their status and are even ballsy enough to TAG people on FB to call them out; I've seen it! Ugh. And the girls are the worst. And all of it is even more intensified because they can see stuff that everyone posts and then they can talk about people even more because nothing is private anymore.
.... Sure we had a few bullies in HS but not like this. Kids have become worse liars and deliberately start more rumors about people just because they are jealous or bored or something. It's pathetic how good they are at it too. I've even seen it come home with them...lying more to their parents then I ever felt I needed too. I kid you not, though, back then when you heard that so-and-so had Chlamydia it was because she REALLY had Chlamydia and people really didn't question it because they were hanging out at the same party where the little disease spreader and her hooked up or you had a reliable source who told you to your face. Yep--Real life Witnesses because we were out "LIVING" not hiding behind phones and computer screens like we do now. ey-yi-yi
There was a time when we used to have no other choice but to say things to people in person...it just makes me sad sometimes is all because we've forgotten all about that time. I mean, I even have to post about it now because it seems so long ago. But what was normal 6 years ago, isn't the normal thing now. I guess the thing that scares me the most is that I see my 28 year old sister who has to deal with all this as a (Step) Parent and I can't even imagine what it will be like when I have kids. {a NIGHTMARE, that's what}... Jamie and I just didn't have to deal with stuff they way they have to now so it's been interesting to watch her dive into being the parent to a teen...
Things are just so different and they are only going to keep changing. Technology rocks if you use it appropriately.. and there are things I know I need to work on for sure. But we can decide how we let it change us as a person and how it changes our lives and relationships. And heck, I better figure that out for myself before I ever bring a kid into this crazy world, I'll tell you that one....Either that, or I'll just have to find a good shrink ;)
Something for everyone to think about but ESPECIALLY for some of these teens...
1.)Learn how to say things to people's faces!
2.) Eliminate some drama by going directly to the source when you have a problem.
3.) You're not as cool as Facebook makes you seem #sorrynotsorry
4.) Find out who your REAL friends are.
5.) Stop lying or trying to ruin people's lives...It's annoying. If you do that on a regular basis (you know who you are)..TBH: I doubt any of your "friends" really like you, and if they claim that they do now...They will end up not trusting you in the end. #fact.
ok. I'm done.
I got my first cell phone during the last half of freshman year. But guess what.. not many people my age had one. It was basically for calling my mom to let her know that I was done with Softball practice, for other emergencies, and for looking "cool." I guess it was kind of cool then but we'd totally laugh now. I mean, if you think black and white screen (not even a flip phone yet) with polyphonic ring tones is cool, then that's what I was. Oh but let's not overlook that it had this really sweet Lion pixel graphic that would come up on the screen; It was awesome.
Technology was starting to rock our socks and I was right there to witness it all. Ok, so that was back in 2003 when I remember having to pay 10 cents for each text. Sooo...we didn't really text yet. In fact, I don't really remember texting a lot in High School anyways. Maybe just toward the end of it a little? Like, senior year. whatever. I do know that it wasn't our main form of communication like it is now. But oh, do I remember Myspace. ... Myspace was cool.
Other things I remember:
-Getting my Facebook in 2006 and thinking it wasn't as cool as Myspace because 1-I couldn't have my top 8 friends (don't lie, that was a big deal) and 2-No more designing my profile background page? LAAAAAME.
-T9 was the shiz and you know it.
-You didn't have to text people for everything. You made solid plans with people in person...or you called them. Sounds like a nightmare to some people now.
I could go on. It sounds weird, but in a lot of ways, things were easier back then. Don't get me wrong, I love FB, Twitter, Texting, iMessage, Instagram ect.. (omg see what I mean so many different mediums) and they are great tools to help you stay connected with people and so much more. But the sad part is how addicted we ALL are to it. I'll be honest...I probably couldn't even go on a 2 day Social Network Fast without feeling disconnected. #Socialnetworkjunkie
My point of writing all of this stuff down is so I remember years down the road, of course, but also because I can't get over how much it's changed people and the way we live. Not only has it changed our relationships with people and the way that we communicate... but the thing that bothers me a lot right now is how it's completely changed the High School experience for these teenagers.
Most teens are brats...
{Let's ignore the fact that I sound old again.}
I mentioned in this week's Wednesday post about a mom who Jamie wanted to "punch in the Lady Balls," right? Well this is all stemming from that and similar stories. See, I have friends who have siblings in HS still, and I have a niece who's a Junior so I hear new drama every week, I swear. This week's dramatics weren't even the worst but I have to kind of chuckle at it because it's so crazy and so typical of these days. This week it was Regan being accused of "keying" her ex boyfriends car (of course it was a couple of mom's getting involved and blowing it up even though Regan promises she didn't do it and she knows who did it. Throw in some pot stirring and flat out lying and you basically get the sum of it) but other times it's "So-and-so calling 'what's her whore-butt' super nasty names on Facebook" or "That one 'hussy' spreading flat out LIES (starting on facebook and texts I'm sure) about the head cheerleader having sex with her Mormon boyfriend.."
I could go on and on about how kids have changed. And I don't really blame them. I just feel bad for them because of how much more dramatic things have become now and for all the distractions that keep them from being "a kid" in HS. Sure, high school was rough for us too in High School 6-7 years ago but not like this. Stuff like this didn't happen. Sure, we were dramatic, there were random hook ups, a few girl fights in the parking lot and the occasional "lover's spat" in the hallway... And yes, we talked about people behind their backs... but we didn't have all the resources that these kids have now. They text about it, post it on their status and are even ballsy enough to TAG people on FB to call them out; I've seen it! Ugh. And the girls are the worst. And all of it is even more intensified because they can see stuff that everyone posts and then they can talk about people even more because nothing is private anymore.
.... Sure we had a few bullies in HS but not like this. Kids have become worse liars and deliberately start more rumors about people just because they are jealous or bored or something. It's pathetic how good they are at it too. I've even seen it come home with them...lying more to their parents then I ever felt I needed too. I kid you not, though, back then when you heard that so-and-so had Chlamydia it was because she REALLY had Chlamydia and people really didn't question it because they were hanging out at the same party where the little disease spreader and her hooked up or you had a reliable source who told you to your face. Yep--Real life Witnesses because we were out "LIVING" not hiding behind phones and computer screens like we do now. ey-yi-yi
There was a time when we used to have no other choice but to say things to people in person...it just makes me sad sometimes is all because we've forgotten all about that time. I mean, I even have to post about it now because it seems so long ago. But what was normal 6 years ago, isn't the normal thing now. I guess the thing that scares me the most is that I see my 28 year old sister who has to deal with all this as a (Step) Parent and I can't even imagine what it will be like when I have kids. {a NIGHTMARE, that's what}... Jamie and I just didn't have to deal with stuff they way they have to now so it's been interesting to watch her dive into being the parent to a teen...
Things are just so different and they are only going to keep changing. Technology rocks if you use it appropriately.. and there are things I know I need to work on for sure. But we can decide how we let it change us as a person and how it changes our lives and relationships. And heck, I better figure that out for myself before I ever bring a kid into this crazy world, I'll tell you that one....Either that, or I'll just have to find a good shrink ;)
Something for everyone to think about but ESPECIALLY for some of these teens...
1.)Learn how to say things to people's faces!
2.) Eliminate some drama by going directly to the source when you have a problem.
3.) You're not as cool as Facebook makes you seem #sorrynotsorry
4.) Find out who your REAL friends are.
5.) Stop lying or trying to ruin people's lives...It's annoying. If you do that on a regular basis (you know who you are)..TBH: I doubt any of your "friends" really like you, and if they claim that they do now...They will end up not trusting you in the end. #fact.
ok. I'm done.
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