"I literally have no clue who you're talking about."
-Kier about JaRule
We we talking about good news that day and I mentioned that JaRule finally got out of jail. Naturally, I was excited about it. Anyone my age grew up on all things JaRule and Nelly. That's just how it was. When Kier told me she didn't know who he was I couldn't even fathom it. Sure, she's 4 and a half years younger than me but geez. I started singing, "WHAT WOULD I BE WITHOUT my BAY-BAY? THE THOUGHT ALONE might BREAK ME..."
Still, nothing.
I've been singing JaRule all week. All illegal gun possession aside, the dude deserves the cred. Awe, that voice. It's that deep sexy voice. You know? Like the Vin Diesel of early 2000 hip hop dudes.
Yes, I went there.
"You are a tall drink of water."
-Ms. X at work about the new sales dude
FC got a couple of new temp sales dudes to help promote a new product we are launching. They didn't have any space for them anywhere else so they were placed in a couple of empty cubes next to mine. I instantly noticed that two of them were younger and not bad looking. It's hard not to notice since most of the people in my area are women or older married dudes. Well, remember Ms. X, the annoying girl who sits literally 20 feet away from me and I've only said like 10 words to her in the 3 years that I've worked here but I still know her life because she talks so loud? Yeah, her. Well, she's boy crazy. Like, I'm talking almost 40 years old, not married and always talks about all her dates and online dating.. anyways. This girl never makes an effort to talk to anyone new. BUT, these two new guys move in and in the first 3 days she made sure she walked by their/my desk and ALWAYS says "hi Boys." haha. get Real. This kid asked where the drinking fountain was and it turned into this flirting sesh about him being a "tall drink of water." Sure, he's tall, but I still don't get that saying. It's weird. You know that I loved sitting back and listening to that though. It was like "gag me with a spoon" stuff. I loved it.
"WTF...What the EFF would she..."
-Woman in her 60's talking on the phone.
I just have this thing where I cringe when grandmas say things like "WTF" and "EFF." I don't know, maybe I'll be one of those grandma's someday. ew. yeah, I don't like it. But good for her?
"COPS!!!"
-Willy
On Friday we decided to be random. At one point the boys ended up walking around an area that we probably shouldn't have been. We weren't doing anything bad, but still. As Willy and Nieko were walking back, Kier and I could see them and we waited for them to get to us. Apparently Willy yelled "Cops" and Nieko instantly turned around and started booking it. Kier and I didn't know what was going on, we thought they were just being rude. Turns out there weren't any cops, but even if there were, we would have been left for dead because we didn't know what was going on. Nieko seriously booked it. Like at least yell it louder so we have a change of hiding or getting away too, you know? hahaha..
Actually, guaranteed we wouldn't have been able to get away and I would just have to make up a story. It's whatever.
#truefriends
"Do you know how many pictures there are on Goog of cats in Sombreros? I don't get it? Why?" -me talking to Jaym
"Because only Mexicans like cats. They breed them."
*insert hard laugh from me*
And don't you quote me on that because it's racist."
-Jamie
hahahahahhaha. Sorry, Jamie. Honestly, no one is going to think you are racist. Besides, all they would have to do it jump on Google images to see how many people put their cat in a Sombrero. It's a lot. Most of them are surrounded by bottles of liquor too, which I think is hilarious. But then I remember it's a cat and I'm like, "ew." But hahaha. So according to Jamie only Mexican like cats. Not true. But we'll go with it. Maybe Kiersten already knew that and that is why she chose to have a "Feline Fiesta" for her birthday at the end of the month. It's all making sense now.
"I bet he was salivating at the mouth."
-Just someone
Ummm, I really want to know where else one can salivate that would make it necessary to point out that the dude would be salivating "at the mouth." Am I missing something? seriously. Sick.
"I don't know how to take care of you because you're acting like a drunk person but you're not drunk."
-Nieko
I think the highlight of the weekend was finding out that Kiersten is basically like a drunk person when she's sleep deprived. No, I'm not being dramatic and yes, it did scare us a little. Mostly we just got a huge laugh out of it. Nieko and I stayed up until 3 am listening to Kier go on and on about random things. It was like she was awake but wasn't. It's was also like she was hammered drunk. Which, she also wasn't. Weirdest/funniest thing ever.
Nieko ended up pulling some saltines out of my pantry and I got her a glass of water. We even watched her drive away just to be sure. Honestly, I've done that for real drunk people but never a sober person. hahahhaha. Funniest thing.
"Zooey Deschanel's bangs, construction workers in yellow vests, turtles, plumbers, copy right signs everywhere. Want to know what else I'm thinking about?...'
-Sleep talking/not so drunk Kier
She went on for a long time about things she was "thinking"/"dreaming" about. I couldn't even write them all down because it was just one thing after another. Nieko and I especially loved her story about how she "seriously just wants Zooey Deschanel's bangs and how she was riding a bike in a red skirt." Yeah, I don't even know.
"Wait for me to come out before you talk about me."
-Kier after we forced her to get up and go home.
I have to give her props though. Even while "out of it," she still knows how Nieko and I work. ha.
"Wow, you're the cleanest eater ever." -Cole
"Thanks!" -Kier
"Look at your crotch." -Cole
There was legit hamburger juice right on the crotch of her dress. To make it 10 times better, Cole also spotted a dollop of ketchup on her leg. Not even kidding. The girl spills everything. One time she got a stain on her shirt from eating one single junior mint. It's equal parts comical and tragic.
"What a nightmare. yeah, I beat you to it."
-Jamie
She always tells me that I think everything is a nightmare. She's right. I do say that a lot and realize that I need to limit the use. I need to come up with another word that is equally over the top and dramatic.. hmm.. I'll have to think about that one.
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