Wednesday's Witty Words of the Week

"Guess who was on Live with Kelly today? Snooki and what's her name? J-Wowwzy??"
-Mom
Close. haha. Oh, that mother of mine.  I love that she at least got part of it right!


"Come on guys, I go on dates once a week and I have a speech impediment..."
-"sponge bob,"/"DJ Flap a lot," new kid at work
This kid never shuts up about dating.  He's always telling these stories to other coworkers but his desk isn't too far away from mine so I can always hear what he's saying.  He thinks he's so cool for asking all these girls out and tries to convince other guys to ask girls out because "hey, I have a stutter and I still ask girls out." *insert sarcastic thumbs up* WTH?  But sad part is that the other day he was talking about how he gets tons of first dates but not too many second and third ones.. Ok, sad.  Stop talking about it, dude before I tear up. NOT. You're annoying.


"If you look up 'Too much Swag' in the dictionary it would have a picture of my face in it."
-Pauly D
UH HUH!  Seriously love him.

"he needs Hermione..." *Said in English Accent*
-Nieko
This wasn't the only time he talked in an accent while watching "The Woman in Black" this weekend.  But really, just because Harry Potter, I mean, Daniel Radcliff, was in the movie he thought that his character needed Hermione to help him solve his problems.  haha. Classic. Although the movie was creepy and entertaining, part of me wishes her and Ron would have showed up at the end of the movie.  Or that some sort of spell would have been cast or SOMETHING to make me not so disappointed with the ending. 

"Jenn--It was like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre...You know what it looked like from the front? Johnny Depp in that Oppa Loompa Movie."
-Jamie in reference to SOMEONE who decided to hack off their own hair.
bahahahahaha. No words.  My stomach was hurting from laughing so hard.

"Sorry, I just got done watching Fast and Furious."
-Ariana
Ohhh so that excuses you randomly calling people inappropriate/super funny names? hahaha. I gotcha ;)


"he open mouth kisses...kind of like Jim Carey on Dumb and Dumber. haha what if?"
-Jamie
Ok, I highly doubt that my little nephew REALLY tries to kiss her like that but if he did...omg..! You know the kiss I'm talking about right? ew. No one should have to experience that. EVERR haha. But I will take mason kisses any day :)


"I'm not washing my hands." -Snooki
"Yeah, I never do."-Deena
Ok, EW.  First of all, this was right after Snooki had peed her panties (obviously she wasn't wearing pants) at the club.  Ummm, HELLO! all peeing aside even...You were at a disgusting club AND you live with the Situation--you should both be washing those things 24/7.

"Ohhhhhh my gosh, I love him."
-Amanda about the "surfer boy" at the church Bball game who I ended up really disliking.
It's just the way she said it.. haha. But she really did love him.  I think it was the straightened hair she liked?

"Yeah, I'll bring it."
-Number 11..AKA Surfer Boy..AKA Lord of the Douches.
I knew just how to push home boy's buttons; it was great.  He back-talked me a couple of times in the middle of the game.  oh boy was I fired up!! too bad we lost by 5....


"Shoooot. Give me a Brandi."
-Brandi
I told her I needed a drink after the intense church ball game we watched and this was her funny reply. [both joking of course :)] HA. love her.


"I thought for sure he was going to kiss me that night but little did I know... He liked boys."
-Wendy
hahaha.  She was heart broken.  I laughed.  Really though, I should take a poll to see how many people this has happened too?!

"haha. uhh, make sure you're wearing a bra when I come over tomorrow night.."
-Easton
haha. Dude. I was folding my arms for the most part. and puh-lease. YOU try wearing a bra every second of your life...thank you very much ;)


"Shhhhhh. How am I supposed to kill you again?"
-Brad during a game of Murder in the Dark
I would have been even more creeped out if he knew how he was supposed to play the game! Oh Bradlee.

"You look like a walking party."
-Deena, Jersey Shore
I really think this is really their idea of the ultimate compliment.  haha. I like it.

"There is nothing less sexy than a man who asks if he can kiss you?" -CeeCee, New Girl
"Really? What if I ate my own hair and pooped out a wig?"
 -Schmidt, New Girl
Ok first, I love that she said that about a guy asking a girl if he can kiss her.  It might be cute sometimes but I think you should know if a girl is wanting you to kiss her for the first time. come on.  But Schmidt's response?  hahahaha. I want to meet the person who writes this crap.