Wednesday's Witty Words from the Week.

"I'm really proud of myself for not falling last night.."
-Deena, Jersey Shore
The funny thing is that she probably wasn't even embarrassed after watching herself in this episode when it aired...even though she fell down at least 4 times!

"Everyone wants some when Jenn holds it..."
-Nieko, referring to the Jiffy Pop.
The kid loves his Jiffy Pop. But who doesn't? Sooo good!

"I wanted to barf and I laughed out loud when Kasey made his tattoo beat"
-Friend, Savanna during our Bachelor Pad recap.
hahah. amen sister. 


"Just listen to Jenn and do what she says; It will work."
-Easton
Ahhh, that is so nice, pal :) ..For the record though, I'm not always right! haha.

"These are like weird strawberries. Are these good like this?"
"Yeah those are, like, raspberries."
-Sammi and Deena, Jersey Shore.
Really, Sammi?  I'm pretty sure raspberries are the same in Italy as they are in America. And why didn't Deena make fun of her for that super dumb comment?  I would have been peeing my pants laughing.

"This is the car of trust, joking and weirdness.."
"You should write a book--Nieko and Jenn's Guide to Dating and Life."
-Easton's younger brother, Ryan
Listen--the car of trust works and if we did write a book, it would be dang good, slightly inappropriate, and you'd probably buy it!

"Where's the Pearl of Great Price?"....."Wait, so what is the book of Abraham a part of?"...."OHHH, that makes since. I thought it was weird that the Pearl of Great Price would only be one page."
-Excerpts from my convo with a 29 year old, pretty, ditsy blond girl in my singles ward during Sunday School.  Name: Unknown.  IQ: Possibly the same as the number of pages in the POGP...
omg.

"Liz? Do you consider Marijuana to be a real drug?"
"Liz? Do you prefer Chicken or Beef?"
"Liz?"....
"Liz?"......
-Only a couple of Nieko's super random questions to Liz during our movie last night.
The chicken or beef question had me dying...  He's pro at being random.

"You can't have that." *insert super serious face, no laughter*
-Heather to Willy after previously telling him he could eat her leftover Red Robin wrap.
Picking on Willy again, Heather?  what's new.  hahhaha.  j/k Heather :):):)

"HAHAHAILOVEFJDKLASfGJKAJKAJDAJKLVJVCDHAHAHAHA"

-Amanda talking about a part of the movie she thought was funny.
"umm. I have no clue what you just said." bahahaha. The girl gets SUPER excited. So funny.

Even the issue-solvers have issues of their own

Today at work I participated in a training that was all about Relationship Trust [hence the super late lunch break].  In the training we talked about lots of great things.  Trusting yourself, trusting others, many different kinds of trust, how to gain it and how to balance it. 

One of the things we briefly talked about was "confronting reality."  This isn't always the easiest thing to do; to be honest about where you really stand and what is really going on in your life. 

A friend said something to me recently that got me thinking.  My response, yet honest, made me feel extremely weak.  This really bugged me; I am not a weak person.  So, in hopes to prove to myself that I wasn't weak, I spent the last two days really reflecting on my response from the weekend and trying to really resolve the issue(s) I'd been putting off for so long.

Today during the trust seminar was the "AHA" moment.  The moment I decided that I'm ready to confront reality.  It's been long past due.  I thought that I had been protecting myself by my actions all this time but in all actuality I was only hurting myself by not letting myself progress. I guess I just didn't have enough trust in myself that I would ever get over it and be "OK."

After the last couple of days I can now say that I really know where I stand with certain things in my life. I know what I'm capable of and I, without a doubt, know what I deserve.  I'm done protecting myself from the chance of being hurt or failing and I'm truly over those things that I've needed to be over.  Sure, my realization doesn't just make it all go away but I'm in a good place with it all and that's HUGE! I now know what I need to do.[Take that Reality!]

The reality of it is that there are so many things that will happen in our lives that we won't want to face.  We'll want to push it under the rug because it's easier and say, "I just need more time" or "not now, I'm not ready" or "oh, it's not a big deal."  But sometimes, if we're not careful, that can turn into years of a negative attitude and many wasted opportunites and realtionships. 

Don't let that happen, people!  Confront it.  No more excuses.

Trust yourself :)

Oh, and if this doesn't apply to your life right now--Brava! Thanks for the vent-sesh.

Dear Ames

Dear Ames,

In my opinion, you are proably one of the most awkward contestants to ever come on any of the "Bachelor" series.  But when you chased after the Limo for your recent love, Jackie, and left behind the chance to win $250,000....sigh...

You won my recently not-so-romantic heart.

Source: twirlit.com via Jennifer on Pinterest

  Thank you for that. xoxo

Love,

Jenn Iknowit'sarealityshowbutIstillcan'tgetoverhowcuteitwasandhowmuchilovelove Hansen

Truth or Truth? umm. I pick Truth :)

Here's the thing about honesty: some people just don't get it.


Even though we are taught from the time we're itty-bitty to be honest and to tell the truth [especially to people we care about] we, as humans, continue to be dishonest in so many different things. 


What's the point?


There are times when I think a little fib-let is OK if it's going to help lift someone's spirit and when it comes down to something that the other person has no control over.  But I'm not talking about that kind.  I'm mostly directing this towards those who deliberately lie to people's faces about stupid things that the other person most likely wouldn't care about in the first place.  Do we think that we're protecting ourselves and other's feelings when we do? You might think that at the time but NEWSFLASH, the truth usually tends to come out in some way.  Especially when it's about things that are so ridiculous.  People talk, stories aren't kept straight, and people aren't as stupid as you think they are. So why not save yourself and be up front with people to begin with?

Source: google.com via Bouchra on Pinterest

Clear, plainspoken, simple and unpretentious. Sounds like the formula for less drama to me.


Sure, we all do our fair share of CTT (Crap Talk Therapy) but I'm not saying you have to go up to every person that you've ever talked crap about be like, "yo, you're dumb and I think this and this about you..blah, blah blah, yada, yada, yada."  That would be honest but it would be total chaos!  [Unless they ask for it, then by all means, tell them.  Especially if it's going to help!] I'm just simply talking about making our lives a bit easier and not lying to people's faces when we have the chance to be honest with them especially when it comes down to the small things.  If someone asks you a question about whatever it is--Tell them what you think.  Be simple, be clear.  Honesty and kindness can coincide.  So just figure out a nice way to say it. [To those I've ever offended with my honesty, I publicly apologize for not finding a kinder way to say it.  Just know that I love you and just want to help. :)]


 At the end of the day I'd rather know your true opinion, what you think about me, what you did or what you didn't do or if you don't want me around. I promise I would shake it off and get over it 10 times faster than a lie/fib or whatever the heck you want to call it to make it sound better than it really is. I think most people would.

Gaining trust back is way harder than coming up with a lie and keeping the story straight. I'm sure we've all been there.  So next time you think about being dishonest to someone, whether you think it's harmless or not... just don't.  It's not worth it and it makes you look SUPER dumb.


So goal for the week: No BS. 
OK? OK.

Texting--An Over Analyzer's Nightmare.

Have you ever had one of these moments?

I'm talking about the moments where you over analyze EVERYTHING in your life especially when it comes to relationships and dating. To the male readers who just thought, "wow. Girls are crazy.." I point my virtual finger at you and call you out right now. Yes, girls are crazy and in general are the worst when it comes to this topic but you don't fool me. Take it from a girl who's talent is to quickly become one of the "guys." I know how you work, k?

It's one thing to over analyze a situation when you are having true face to face interaction with a krinkle, crush, friend, ex, enemy or whoever it might be....but texting? Texting is an over analyzer's nightmare when it comes to relationships. In fact, I believe that texting has increased over analyzing in the entire world by at least 75 percent [yes I just made up a statistic but, you get my point.]

 Here's what I mean.

Why I Believe TEXTING is the Worst Source When it Comes to Relationships:

Reason 1:

Some people are simply being nice when they text.

Guy texts girl "friend" all of the time to talk about random nothingness because he's interested in said girl. Girl [who is known to over use the smiley face] isn't interested but always responds simply because they are friends and she's nice.  Guy believes girl is interested because 1-they text a lot more than normal "friends" do [even though he usually starts the convo] and 2-all of those dang smiley faces!..."She must like me, right?"

uhh.. maybe so, maybe not.

Reason 2:

Some people don't show any emotion via text.

I've blogged about this before and how it's super confusing.  This would be someone who never does smiley faces, exclamation points, "haha's" or is even known to send one word texts like "no" and "yes" (one of my pet peeves).  This is where over analyzing of the textee kicks in.  "I think they're mad at me." "What did I do wrong?" "I thought he liked me." "Oh crap! I just ruined my chances there..."

You can sit there and analyze the lack of emotion in the text but it still could go either way.  Maybe it does mean they aren't interested OR maybe that's just how they text. Or maybe you really did do something to tick them off. How could you even know?

Reason 3:

It's easy to say anything over text.

You can tell someone you have feelings for them [even if you don't really, kind of sort of do], that you hate them and even gossip and spread rumors so much easier over text.  It's like the stomping ground for confessions, I swear.  I'm amazed at how much more comfortable some people are at saying whatever they want over text or even on facebook but when it comes to human interaction it's basically like talking to dry wall. "um. hello? when did you get so borrring?!"

Reason 4:

You can think before you type.

How many times have you sat and thought for a long time about the exact way to say something so that the other person will think of you in a certain way? It totally encourages posers and fakers!  So you think they say all the right things over text? Um...newsflash..He might not be that clever, witty, funny or romantic and she might not be as good, perfect and glamorous and she seems. 

I could go on, but I won't. I will wrap it up before you think I have mad trust issues. haha

Even though I appreciate texting for multiple reasons, I'm just saying that you shouldn't base any kind of relationship "status" or someone's feelings off texting.  You don't always know if they are telling the truth, being sarcastic, trying to be funny, or sincere.  Instead, you can sit there and analyze the text until you come up with your brain's analysis of how the other person feels.

It's just not accurate. You feel me, dog?

I'll let you in on a little secret.  Human interaction is way more fun and, if you are a good people reader, like me, you don't have to over analyze as much because you already know what is up!

So go ahead and text away.  Text like you normally do.  Text a lot, I don't care. But don't decide how someone else feels based only on a text.  If you're confused about something--call them or meet up and talk it out or.... if it's that hard for you to do, just get a friend to do it for you. haha. That works too.  At least you'd know the truth about what the other person is thinking and you can stop worrying about it.

 

p.s-if you don't believe me.  The word "texting" didn't even come up on my blogger spell check. But "talking" does.  coincidence? maybe. But I'll take it as a sign. ;)

TGIF

Jersey Shore By the Numbers--Stats

Source: blurppy.wordpress.com via Savanna on Pinterest

Wednesday's Witty Words from the Week.

I've decided to bring back the segment of posts where I jot down some of the funny/ridiculous/great things that were said to me or that I heard over the 7 days (the ones I can remember at least and that are appropriate.)  I basically just want to log as many things as I can remember because: 1-my memory sucks these days and 2-all the people in my life..even the ones who live far away [and the random reality TV stars who I feel are a part of my life..haha] are just fab.

So here you go:

"All I know is she needs to stop wearing pants without butt pockets..."
-Brother, Coleman in reference to Kristin on season one of Laguna Beach
[haha. So true. Kristin didn't even make those look good in 2005.]

"I am down a can of bronzer.  I only have about 8 cans left and in my world that’ll last about 10 days." -JWoww on JS Season 4 Premier

"...Slaves to the Vagina"
-anonymous source, secret reference
[BAHAHAHA?!?]

 "These pigeons are ruthless in Italy. They will attack you and they will bite your ears off. I feel like they just don’t like you and they just wanna eat your food."
-Snooki on last Thursday's JS season 4 premier

"...He lives by the DUMP!"
-Friend, Heather in regards to Willy's home. 
[oh how I wish I would have been in her car to hear her say this for reals... but the story of it through everyone else was beyond hilarious.]


 "Just put on some lipstick; You'll feel better."
-Coworker, Wendy in reference to my grumpy attitude about not showering that morning.
[Like I EVER wear lipstick and like that solves my crappy tude and my greasy hair situation. haha. sick.]

"The deed is done ;)"
-A funny text.

"Mafjdaklfjakfnkxlvrsopfsp. "
-Krazy Kasey to Vienna on the Bachelor Pad 2 premier.
[Am I the only one who thinks that joker needs subtitles for everything he says? just saying...]

Dear South Weber Police

Dear South Weber Police,

I know I was speeding but give me a break.

And I'm not talking about a Kit Kat Bar. 
Actually.  I'll take a Kit Kat with my ticket, please.

Love,

Jenn Igrewupinthecountrywhereyoudriveatleast50mphoneveryroad Hansen

Being afraid of bathrooms in general is a rational fear.

It's been decided that I am a bit jumpy these days.  I'm not sure what started it but it's the sad truth.  I might be rounding down when I say that the boys have scared me 5 times last two nights on our trips to the infamous "skate shop."  Sure--it has ramps, and foam pit material but I saw it as more of a decked out crash pad for the homeless of Ogden.  Not kidding. 





This is the actual skate shop.  I  found this pic online and it's "pre-foam pit."
So it looks a bit different now, but this is basically it..


Saturday night was creepy.  The idea of the skate shop was new, doors that shouldn't be moving were moving, and there were sounds--suspicious sounds.  Maybe the shopping cart at the back entrance of the building threw me for a loop and automatically made me assume that homeless people call the skate shop their home.  I'm not sure what it was.  Even after we had more people with us the second night and I had decided that it was a pretty sweet spot and thought I had gotten over the creepy feeling, I still managed to get scared.  No.  Scratch that. Terrified.

I'm already creeped out of the dark so throw in a creepy hallway and an equally creepy Men's bathroom and you have yourself a scene for a horror film. 

"NO WAY my friends would pull a prank on me while I'm peeing after I was already frightened to go into the bathroom. No wayy!"  WRONG.

One of them [he who shall not be named]decided to turn off the lights to the freaky bathroom, mid stream.  Who does that?!   Am I the only one who saw the creepy bathroom scene in Halloween H20?  Am I the only one who remembers THIS?:

My thoughts were immediately flooded with all of the bad things that could happen in a bathroom. Every crazy person from every scary movie standing behind me with a knife or something.  A homeless man kicking down the door and charging. "IT" the Clown standing in the corner.. [OMG, the bathroom scene from that Movie scarred me for life, I swear.] I mean it, our thoughts are trippy and can get out of hand sometimes within a matter of seconds.


So come on people.  Of course I'm going to scream bloody murder and have a not-so-mini freak out where I am on the verge of tears and have to do everything in my power to keep from junk punching someone right up in their bidness while slowing down my heart rate.  I freaked.  I admit it.

So note to my "friends"--Being afraid of bathrooms in general is a rational fear.  I don't care where you are. I've been known to get creeped in church bathrooms too.  So, listen and you listen good. DON'T turn out the lights while I'm in there by myself? ok? ok.

Jersey Shore--Getting into Character.

When we decided that we were going to have an Italy party for last night's season 4  premier of  the Jersey Shore....I, of course, took my party planning seriously even though I knew that most of my friends didn't really care about the show itself (so they say...secretly I know that they are obsessed now)  So I got a whole mess of pizza and even semi-decked out my dining area with some Italy pride!

Everyone showed up a little late but when my boys walked into my apartment for the party I was DYING!  They decided to keep it a secret that they were dressing up for the occasion.  Let's just say, they made my night and I forgot about the fact that they were late.  It was like we had our own little white (minus willy) version of the Jersey Shore right there in my apartment.





Nieko--AKA: DJ Pauly D, Willy--AKA: The Situation, Easton--AKA: Ronnie
(Obviously BEFORE T Shirt Time!)

 BAHAHA.  See why I love them?! omg. Easton even dyed his hair and dang, E...Lookin' Good :)

I was so busy getting stuff ready for the party that I hadn't gotten to do my snooki poof when the boys arrived.  The boys weren't having that.  They followed me into the bathroom and gave me pointers on how to do "the poof" based on what they had seen on the show.  Then we kind of stood there looking at ourselves in the mirror for a sec just like they do before going out to da club. haha.  No joke.   I think we were getting WAY to into character...

See for yourself:


The Situation, Snooki, Ronnie, Pauly D



Don't worry...He's not really touching my "no-no square." in fact...he's pretty far away!  haha. Like I said, we were just really in character..

It's never a dull moment with these boys :)

Here's a a recap from last night's episode so if you haven't watched it yet--stop reading:

1-I still love Jersey Shore

2-I'm still obsessed with Pauly D. 

3-The Situation's hair in season 4 is disgusting!

4-I love Single Ronnie.

5- Snooki and the Situation, say whaaaat?

6- Even though Deena and Pauly's little make out at the end was siiick.. I soooo would kiss that man. no joke!

7-JWoww? GTF.. Gym. Tan. Find out why Jenni did that to her freaking face!

HAPPY FRIDAY, GUIDOS and GUIDETTES :)