A Church Post.

Do you ever have one of those moments where you can't stop smiling?  I'm not talking about those "I'm in love, I'm in love, and I don't care who knows it" kind of moments, either. I'm talking about having one of those days where things are just going right and you are so grateful in that moment for all the things you have and you feel like nothing can mess it up.  Those days are few and far between, but when it happens, I just want to live in that moment forever.

That was my day yesterday.

I love Sunday's anyways but yesterday was extra special. I've been thinking a lot lately about where I stand and why I do the things I do and am always thinking about what I can be doing to be better.  As humans we constantly want to be progressing.  It's a natural thing to want.  No one wants to be feeling like a 10 at one point and quickly fall short to a 6 within a matter of months.  But it happens because we are human. We let things get in the way and we sometimes forget why we are here and what we are working for.  It starts out little and we begin to justify it by making it seem that it's just "one little thing."  Eventually, if we aren't careful, those things can become more than just one little thing and can become a part of who you are and can change us.  Some people quickly realize they are slacking and for others it can take a while for them to do something about it.  For me, I haven't ever done anything that would ruin my standing in the church, but I did notice that I hadn't been the person I was before.  It was the little things.  Language, music, movies, letting my personal prayers and scripture study drop...those "small" things.  I had become what felt like a 4 after leaving BYU-Idaho and being Relief Society President and feeling like a, well..we'll say a 9.  This has been one of the hardest things.

 I've spent the last four months knowing that I needed to start preparing to get myself ready for the temple.  This was huge.  I always imagined going through when I had "met someone" and was going to get married.  But I followed the prompting.  I talked to the bishop, I went to temple prep with all the engaged couples, I did a better job at praying and scripture study and tried to do a little better each day to try to keep happy and good thoughts flowing.  For some reason, I couldn't help but feel guilty.  I thought I was broken and felt like the Lord was disappointed for all those little things and that I probably shouldn't be able to go to the Lord's house.  Of course I was wrong. Those things didn't make me unworthy, they just were making me feel crappier than before.

It's taken me a while, multiple talks with my parents and Bishop and a lot of time on my knees praying to help me remember what I already know.  This is what I know--I am not perfect, I'm not expected to be perfect, and I have a Heavenly Father who loves me and is there for me even when I'm feeling more on the Zero side. This has strengthen my testimony so much.  I've always had a strong testimony of the church, but I hadn't been taking care of it recently.   I've always known these things but spent most of my life doing most of the things that I was supposed too.  But I let things get in the way.

My bishop has helped me work on not being so hard on myself for the past couple of months.  It's been hard, but for the longest time I was trying to do it on my own.  I almost have had to go back to the basics but I wouldn't have it any other way because I've learned so much about myself and about the Lord and His sacrifice and love for me personally.

This last week I finally made the decision to go through the temple and am going to pull everything together so I can be there when Cole and Kier be sealed on Sept 7th! When I finally told the bishop that I was ready, we did the interview and I couldn't stop smiling and haven't had one negative thought from Satan about it in my mind since then.  OK, made once, when I put on some shorts today and realized I'd need to do a DI run soon.  But that's no biggie.

I think the best thing the bishop said to me over the last few months was: "If the Temple was only for perfect people, no one would be able to go inside."  I'm not perfect, but I'm really trying to do better.  I know that I've had to commit to work on some things but I'm really willing to do it so I can keep feeling this way.  Why do we try to do better?  Because we love God and we know what He has in store for us when we try.  The best part is knowing that when we do mess up that there is always a way back to Him.  I will be forever grateful for that knowledge and for Christ's atonement.

I know this is a personal story and I probably shouldn't be sharing it online, but I want people to know where I stand (and this honestly has become my journal.  I need to figure out how to make it private but I'm not really a private person soooo anyways..:/)  I have a testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  I am who I am because of it and because of my Heavenly Father and Savior.  I mess up sometimes but no short lived happiness on this Earth can compare to having the spirit with you and the blessings that come from keeping the commandments and following Christ.  I don't care what your religion is but if you've been feeling in the dumps and you believe in God..PRAY!  I promise that as you pray and try everyday to be a little bit better than you were the day before that you will be so much happier and you will feel God's love for you.

I'm so excited to go to the Temple! Nervous for that step but excited to show my commitment to God and to be able to go back often to learn of Him :)   

All it takes is the desire to change, a little bravery to stand up for what you believe in and the willingness to get those work boots dirty :) 

Wednesday

"Are you in a depression?" -Kier as she walked in the door to find me on the floor staring at the ceiling.
"No.  But pretty sure if I was, that would be really insensitive." -Me
Things people should know about me number one: I do weird things.  Actually, that's pretty much all you need to understand about me, I feel.  I'm not "normal" and I actually love that about myself.  At least once a week, you will find me laying on the ground staring at the ceiling.  I don't do it for long periods of time but I just feel like it's a good way to let my brain take a rest and to give a little reset to me body so everything is functioning at the same pace.  That brain and heart of mine tend to work at weird speeds sometimes.  

Just a warning so if you walk into my house and I'm having that kind of moment, I'm totally not depressed.  But I really feel like if I was, you might not want to ask me that. hahah Oh, Kiersten :)  

"How do I know that girl?" -Me to Nieko at the concert.
"That's my Holy Smokes girl friend!! move over here." -Nieko
I've teased Nieko for a while about the girl who works at Holy Smokes BBQ in layton.  She totally loves him.  One time we went in there without him and she said (quote) "I love Nieko."  I mean, I don't think she LOVES him but I'm just saying that she would totally use him for her "man crush monday" pic on Instagram if she had a pic of him. Anyways, she likes him.  I've talked to her multiple times so a recognized her at the concert but couldn't remember where I knew her from.  We made eye contact, Nieko looked, said that ^^ and then we quickly moved/ran away.  So funny.  And sad.  I mean, the girl even gave him free Holy Smokes the night before.  Top bad she's in High school. BAHAHAHA Best.thing.ever.


"Old people."
-Cole whispering to me at the movie theater
Have you ever been really excited to do something or go somewhere and then you get there and realize that you might be a little out of place?  That was Cole and me when we went to see "The Butler" on opening night.  There wasn't one person in that theater under 40, aside from us.  It was the best/worst.  We were dying because everyone who walked up the stairs we were like "oh wow, they lived through this whole civil rights thing."  Then you have me and cole just like, "Yeah, we appreciate a good movie and history. woot woot."  

We decided to sit in the front.  When the previews started we were reminded how old everyone was in the theater because at every quiet moment between a preview you had someone doing old people things.  By this I mean 1.) people thinking they were whispering but really they are yelling 2) hacking up a lung or 3.) complaining to their spouse that they were sitting too close to the screen and couldn't see. 

#oldpeople

"What could I give you to take that necklace from off you neck?"
-Candy store guy willing to pay me 20 bucks in chocolate for my $12 PacSun necklace
I might need to reevaluate my whole "first impression" thing.  I mean, I know that I have this thing that makes (most) people feel comfortable around me.  I don't know what it is but it happened with every kind of interaction we had on Monday night as I was shopping and out to dinner with Kenzie at Fashion Place.  With in the first 2 minutes the guy called me "Ms. Sassy" because I asked what kind of Peanut Butter something was when he asked us if we wanted a sample.  I don't feel like that's sassy.  Can't a girl just know what she's getting before she agrees to something?! rude.  Ok, maybe I am sassy.  Whatever. 

So as we both went up to the counter to buy a treat he asked me about my necklace.  Apparently he really liked it and wanted it for himself.  It's just this plain long necklace with three geometric shapes on it.  I mean, it's cute, but he was so into it.  He was really going to pay me in chocolate for it.  I should have done it but I felt so awkward and quite frankly, felt a little weird that he wanted MY necklace for himself.  I wanted it.  So I turned him down, he was sad, the end.

"Everyone really does think they are best friends with you."
-Kenzie
It's true.  The guy from Cheesecake factory was teasing me like we'd known each other forever, the older Sephora lady thought we could be besties and the candy guy.. loved me.  I'm not surprised.  Maybe they felt bad because I was the single one with my married, 38 weeks pregnant friend? haha jk.  I just must have one of those faces, I guess.


"Is that your new laugh?  It sounds reinvented." -Jamie to me
"That's rude.  Do you think I'm being fake? *insert laugh." -me
"THAT LAUGH! What the heck is that?" -Jamie
I explained to her that I didn't know what she was talking about but that I didn't appreciate that it was like I was being fake or something.  My laugh does weird things all the time.  In fact, it's one of my most annoying things, I feel but I'm not going to let that stop me from laughing and feeling happy.  No way, jose.  Like yesterday, I was just trying to be quiet because I could NOT stop laughing at work.  I guess it did something weird and Jamie hated it.  Whatever.  Good thing she's my sister and has to love me :)

"His eyes are super dilated." 
-Me about a guy on last night's episode of Catfish
"You're dilated." -Cole
BAHAHAHA. Pretty sure that's the nastiest thing he could have said to me.  Ok, I take that back.  He could have said way worse things but you know what I mean.  It's one of those "Your mom goes to college" kind of things.  You say them without thinking and sometimes they just go really wrong.  This was one of those moment.  Don't worry, people...  I'm not having a baby.. My downstairs is fine.  

Gross.  Forget I said that.  ok...BYYEEE.

Walk the Walk.

A few days ago we had a little scare with my dad.  He's been getting these shots in his back and neck for pain and, long story short, he had a really bad reaction to one of the shots in his neck.  Simply putting it, the dude doing it totally screwed up.  He immediately started puking and passing out and no one knew what was wrong with him.  As if passing out wasn't bad enough, he even complained about blurred vision and super bad headaches..  It wasn't until a few hours later that my mom was finally able to get him to the Emergency room where he stayed the night.  After 8 times of passing out, he was finally able to rest.

When I heard about it, I was a mess.  I just love my dad so much and can't even imagine what my life would be like without him.  It's not meant to be, but this whole mortality stuff is kind of scary.  I mean, one thing could go wrong, one little tiny thing, and it could just be over.  My dad is fine and doing much better but I couldn't help but stay up that whole night worried about him and thinking the worst while still trying to have faith that everything was going to be OK.   

I have so many great people in my life and I've been fortunate enough to only lose a few of them.  I don't think I'm scared of death but I'll admit that I do get a little anxious when I think about lost time or not really making the most out of life and relationships with the people around me.  I think we just get caught up in stuff sometimes and we forget what this life is all about.  I do it all the time.  I forget to really be in the moment.  Sometimes I complain more than I'd like too, I choose to stay home and watch TV most nights, and I waste precious time thinking about the things I would like to be able to do and 50% of the time it's just a thought and never an action.  It's bad and I'm not going to sit here and make excuses.  

 I honestly don't know how I would handle though it if I woke up one morning to a phone call that someone I really loved had passed away and I didn't do everything I could to show that person that I loved and cared about them.  On the other side of that, I would hate to leave this life and have people remember me as some girl who was a lot of talk and no walk who only cared about pop culture, organizing things and occasionally liked to blog and sew.  Not having it.  So I've been praying even harder lately for help to be more in tune with the spirit and to be more of an action person and less "just thought." 

Cheese ball moment***

Life really is short and precious.  Lessons from this week and things I'm trying to work on:

1-Don't just tell people you love them, show them.  

2-If you have a prompting to do something, do it.  There's always a reason for it.  You might not know the reason at the time, but you don't want to miss out on an opportunity to help someone if you can and for your relationships to grow.

3-Make bold moves.  This is something I know I need to work on but it's a struggle for me.  I have a feeling I'll get a handle on it sooner or later but in the meantime, I'll try to be patient with myself and hope that everyone else in my life can continue being patient with me too :)

Wednesday

"Try buying a pressure cooker and a backpack online at the same time and see what happens.  The SWAT team will come to your house.  I want to do it just because.  But.. then they would see my 20,000 rounds of ammo in the house so that's probably not a good sign."
-Dad
We were talking on the phone about canning and stuff which brought up pressure cookers and of course dad's new found love of buying things online.  Naturally that led to how if you were to buy one of those online and a backpack at the same time they would think you were a terrorist.  So note to any of you who are planning on buying a pressure cooker online to do your canning...  Don't do it.  But if you do, just be sure you don't do your school shopping at the same time.  

Leave it to dad to want to do it just to see what would happen.  Embarassing.  And 20,000 rounds of ammo?  I thought he was joking. 

He wasn't.

"I'm so excited.  I get to go home and read Anything But Ordinary."
-Julie (Kier's Mom) last Wednesday
For about 5 seconds I didn't know what she was talking about.  I should have because her comment right before that was "It's Wednesssssday! Did you do your chores?" I knew that was about doing my wednesday post but for some reason when she said "Anything But Ordinary" I thought she was talking about a new book she was reading.  Not a book...Just my blog :) 

"There's cool stuff in Texas.  I see it on the food network all the time.  They have good BBQ there.   Like, I want to go to Chicago just for their deep dish pizza. I'm not kidding!"
-Nieko
I must have been bagging on something from Texas, I'm not sure.  I can't remember how it was brought up because I really don't have anything against Texas.. I've just never been there and don't really have a desire to NEED to go there anytime soon.  Whatever the reason,  all I remember is Nieko defending Texas like he'd been there before and loved it..  His source?  The food network.  The reason?  Apparently they have good BBQ there.  I was laughing so hard at how serious he was.  Then he started going off on Chicago's deep dish pizza.  

I've decided that I need to meet someone who has a jet who can just take us to eat at these places.  Apparently it's worth it. 

Adding Chicago Deep Dish Pizza to my bucket list? Yes. Texas BBQ? Still not too convinced.  Someone fly me there and prove me wrong ;) ;)

"What are you doing?" -Me to Mason over the phone
"Nothin." -Mason
I'm not kidding.  When did he get so big that he understands questions like that and responds with an adult answer like "Nothin"? hahaha I could cry.  He's getting so big and is as adorable as ever, especially with his new big boy hair cut.  The true answer to my question was that he was sitting in the stroller at his favorite place--The Mall.  He told me about it after but I had to pry it out of him.  I can't even handle how big this 2 year old is getting.  Only 23 more days until I get to see him!!

"If I didn't have four at home already, I'd take this one home with me too."
-Volunteer at the Pet Adoption thing as Pet Smart
First of all, I only went into the store to see puppies/dogs.  But guess what?  They only had cats.  Stinky, ugly cats (Ok, one named Wendy wasn't too bad to look at)  I was so mad, though.  I honestly felt like one of the cats was looking into my soul.  I guess I starred too long at one of them because the volunteer guy came over and started talking about his love for cats and wouldn't leave me alone.  How do you tell someone that you loathe something they love?  You just cant without being rude.  So what did I do? I stood there, listened, and waiting for the right opportunity to say "well, thanks, have a good day, BYE." The guy wouldn't stop.  He even pulled out a cat and I managed to get myself to pet it and pretend that I liked it.  I did tell him "I wasn't a big cat person" but he just kept going.  

cats.  smh.

"You, this everything good."
-Kier explaining to me that she thought I looked good
The best part of this is that I totally got what she was saying.  She meant to say that she liked my hair and that my outfit was really working for me.  We laughed.  Sometimes you just "get" people, and you don't question it.

Wednesday

"Joaquin! JOAQUIN!"
-Dude in the ward trying to get the elder's quorum president's attention by turning around in the middle of fast and testimony meeting.
You know those people who think they are whispering but they always seem to be the loudest person at all the wrong moments?  My dad and grandma Hansen are like that.  They can't whisper for crap.  They think they are telling a secret in the middle of sacrament but in reality, they haven't made their voice any softer.  It can be embarrassing.  Well, this one kid (who Amanda and I have decided isn't "special" ..he's just "different" if that makes sense) was sitting in front of us during fast and Testimony meeting and he decides to turn around and shout/whisper to get Joaquin's attention.  Amanda and I were dying.  We were embarrassed for him.  But we weren't laughing just because he wasn't succeeding at the whispering but he kept looking at us saying "sorry" but then continued trying to get the EQP's attention.  Like, if people are laughing at you and can't stop then you probably should turn around and stop talking.

Then starts the giggle fest between me and Amanda.  We couldn't stop.  To make it better the kid turned around and said "Hey, don't let anyone steal my phone." I looked at him and was like "uhh ok." But really I was like "Wth.  Is this really happening?"  I didn't know what he was talking about or why he thought it was a good time to talk to us.  He then got up to share his testimony.  I then understood why he was telling me to watch his phone.  Kind of.  I mean, I feel like the safest place to leave your phone unattended is probably on the pew at church in the middle of fast and testimony meeting.  Anyways.  If you think it's over.  It wasn't.  He sat down after he was dne, turned around and said, "JOAQUIN?! JOAQUIN! Was that good?  THE SPIRIT TOLD ME TO DO IT." omg.  It was the worst.  Sure, tell that to the person you're sitting next too--great.  But to a person who is 4 rows behind you?  just don't.  We couldn't stop laughing.  Everyone was looking.  It was bad.


"You're the meanest brother I've ever had. Even my step brother is nicer" -little girl in the park to her brother
"Who is your step brother?" -little brother
"I'm not telling." -bratty sister in the black velour dress on a hot summer day
This little girl scared me.  First of all, people know that I have a problem with kids having these super creative imaginations.  I know I should be like "Creativity, yay!" I get that.  But the whole making making people up or saying they see things doesn't setting with me.  It's like last week when Jamie started telling us that Mason has starting shutting all the doors up stairs and says "monsters" and then one night they woke up to him saying "go away, go away" in his room by himself. EEK.  It's probably nothing to everyone else but it scares me a little lot. It shouldn't but it does. 

 But back to the Blonde Samara from the park that day...if her brother doesn't know that she has a step brother?  Kind of creepy.  It's probably imaginary.. Like Toby from Paranormal Activity.  Actually, he was a real ghost/demon thing.  See. yeah, no.  Can't handle it.

I really need to cut back on the scary movies I think. haha  


"Geez, Willy."
-Justin to me about being dramatic
BAHAHAHAHHAHAHA I'm glad someone thinks Willy is the most dramatic one and not me for a change.  Actually, this person doesn't really know me so I'm sure after one more time of hanging out that probably would change.  Who cares.  I'm still just going to live in this moment for a second.  *AWWWWYEAAAA* Oh wait, that was dramatic.  Willy--Tie?  jk. We all know that I'm the winner.  It's whatever.

"You should go home and slap your parents for these genetics."
-Dude dental hygienist
It's not a secret that I have bad teeth. I know it, everyone knows it.  I really didn't need the overly flirty DH to tell me about it.  Embarrassing.  It's like just get in there, get it done and move on.  First of all, do you really think I can comment back with your hands in my mouth? No.  Oh and ps.  I don't care that your wives name is also Jenn and how I kind of remind you of her.  Weird. At that point I wanted to be like "i'm going to take my bad teeth and leave now. Byyyye."

"You look really pretty today; you're glowing!" -Tessa, new coworker
"I didn't shower." -me
OK, I'm not the best at taking compliments.  I really need to get better at that.  I've just never really been good at it so when some ever tells me I look good I IMMEDIATELY am like "psssht," and come up with a really good reason as to why I might be "glowing" or whatever I can do to down play the compliment.  It's a problem.  But I legit didn't shower one day this week and THAT is the day that I look "pretty?" geez.  I really should stop semi-trying to be semi-presentable. 

____________
I really wish for this last one that I could post a picture of this girl who doesn't say anything to Nieko and I... just gives us bad looks. If she said something rude to us, I would post it but it's all about the "Look" for her.  Remember me talking about the girl who has a Perma-B look on her face?  It's her. Apparently it's just when Nieko and I are around that she does that.  We don't get it.  I would totally understand if we did something to her or ever had a conversation with her but we haven't.  

I like to think that Nieko and I are pretty well liked, but we know she hates us.  It's weird. We don't run into her too often but Nieko and I were hitting a beach ball back and forth this weekend and it accidentally hit her in the face.  Instead of laughing about it or making a joke she didn't budge at all.  Just turned her B Face up a notch.  I don't get it.  All I know is that someone who is her real friend should really tell her how unattractive that face makes her.  Woof. 

(Rude, but get real.  she's rude. Next time I might just have to subtly call her out on it.  Not like we care because we aren't really "friends." I just don't like when people don't like me for no reason at all.  It's dumb.)

Names

The topic of "baby names" has come up a lot this last month.  Why?  Check your Facebook.  Everyone and their dog is having babies right now.  Seriously, someone posted a pic of baby puppies on Facebook the other day.  Facebook is all like, "Congrats to all the new moms and even to the mommy dogs!! oh yeah, and BOOOOOO to all you who don't have babies and extra boo if you don't even have a puppy. pssht."  

Really though.

I don't have anything against babies.  In fact, I'm learning now (since Mason) that I kind of love them.  Parts of them.   The cute, non poopy, crying parts of them.  I told you that pretty much all of my best girl friends from Parma are having babies this year.  Two down (Norah and Rebecca) and two more to come..Baby "Yet to be named," Andrus and Baby A (not sure if we're telling people the name) Taylor.  It's so exciting and I'm so happy for them and for the pics to come of their children.  Because of course it's OK when it's pics of babies that you love.  haha.  I love it.  Things I don't really love, however, is how hard it must be when it comes to naming a child.  Names are important.

I've always been the person that's had the plain name.  Not that I hate my name, because I don't.  How could you when your dad named you because he just "liked the name Jennifer."  I get it.  It was a thing in the 80's.  I'm over it. But I would also love if there weren't so many of "me" around too.  No, I'm not wishing to have one of those names that NO one else has. That's a Utah thing, it's dumb and I hate that more than having a super common name.  What I'm saying is that Jennifer Nicole Hansen is literally the name of more that 100 people in the world.  I'm totally low ballin there too, I think.  To prove it, I googled my name.  Sure, on the first page a couple of things come up from blogs and stuff that are linked to the real me. However,  you'll also find a TON of other women by that exact name.  Like these three Gems who share my exact name:

Nice mug shots, Jenns ;) *Thumbs up*

And this was just on the first page of the Google search!  Apparently Jennifer Nicole Hansen is a classy name too.  So it's all good.  I fit right in, I feel. Especially with that last tatted beauty.

Choosing a name must be rough.  I realize that now that people close to me are having babies and working through the naming process.  I get it.  A person's name is what someone identifies themselves with for the rest of their life.  So I give my Dad credit for picking a normal name, I really do.  I just have to make up for the plain name with extra personality, which I feel I do just fine with ;)

Note to my future self though: If you ever have kids.. Be nice.  Think about nicknames too.  We don't need any "Queersten's" instead of Kiersten  or "YEASTINfection" for Easton,  or "VAjarna instead of Jarna. (actually that last one is a horrible yet funny example because it's a legit one from high school and Jarna is THE dumbest name.)  But really. People are clever. They will actually come up with other names or ways to poke fun no matter what...  

So basically I guess you have three options: 

1.) Teach your kids to have thick skin and not care about what people think

2.) Name them something simple and normal

 or 3.) Just name them Jennifer.  

The end.

A different kind of Wednesday post

If you started reading my blog posts a couple of years ago and are still reading now, you've probably gotten super bored with my posts for the last.. year.  I kind of stopped caring about something that I really used to love and spend a lot of focus on.  I was reminded of that last week when I was able to go back and refer to my blog to recall a specific moment back in 2011.  I got a kick out of the smallest detail that I wouldn't have remembered if I didn't write it down.  I loved to blog.  When I wrote down things about my day or my week or about random things, I made myself really think about my opinions, what I believe, and why I am the way that I am.  I would honestly learn so much about myself.

Then.. I just kind of let it stop.

It's funny how you can be a certain way and then life just gets a little crazy and different and things change.  I used to think that I stopped blogging as much because I didn't have the time. We all know that was false.  I had the time, I just didn't want to talk about the things that were going on.  Some of the things were depressing and you can't blame me for not wanting to be that overly emotional chubby girl on Mean Girls who just,"has a lot of feelings."  

Don't get me wrong... I have a lot of feelings.   I just don't like being that annoying girl who doesn't have most things figured out and is like "look at me, my life sucks.  Give me a present."  I've decided that my problem is that I'm too hard on myself.  My life isn't that bad.  In fact, it's actually kind of great.  My problem lies in the fact that I focus on those areas where I know I could personally be doing better or improve on.  I know my potential and when I let myself get careless and lazy.. ohhhh it bugs me.  So I will just wrap it up and confess that I've been annoying, lazy and rude to myself.  My life is pretty great and I just haven't been taking care of certain things like I should have.  I understand that life can't be cupcakes and licorice all the time and I'm going to focus on being a little more patient with myself.  

I think everyone could do a little better at that.  I feel like I'm surrounded by so much negativity all the time and I really want to try to be better at that.  I'm not kidding.. I'll be the first to admit that I really do love most people but when it comes to the dumbest things that don't even matter, I'm so rude and quick to judge.  But I feel like everyone I'm around is like that.  I feel like I used to be that girl who would always be like "ohh no, she's super nice" and usually have something good to say about people.  That doesn't happen too often any more.  No wonder why we are so hard on ourselves .. because we are so hard on others.  Geez.  Now I'm admitting that I'm rude.  Maybe that's why I stopped blogging so much?

haha jk, it's a reality check. 

Goal--1.) Stop being so hard on other people and myself. 

Goal--2.) Cherish the good moments.. don't focus so much on the bad.

Going home this weekend was seriously the best thing I could have done.  Every time I go home to Parma I come back to Utah wanting to be a better person.  I'm not sure if it's because I'm around my parents all weekend who are just so great or the fact that life is just simple there and it really makes me count my blessings and remember old memories of growing up and times when I was super happy.  Whatever it is, it works every time!  

I know I'm supposed to be writing down all the funny things that people said this week but I just can't get over all the great moments in general that I had this weekend being home. All of them, I've done before but it was just nice to really take in each moment and be like, "yessss, this is what it's all about. The little things."

1-Picking veggies in the garden with grandma.

2- Moving cattle with dad

3-Watching my dad mix grain and feed the cattle

4-Staying up watching movies with my mom

5-Saying goodnight to my mom before bed knowing that she's still going to stay up for a couple of hours because she's a night owl.

6-The smell of "home" and the country in the summer time.

7- Eating dinner over at grandmas

8- Knowing that the reason Cole was sad as he sat in grandpa's chair...

9- Sitting in front of the fan trying to stay cool.  Thinking about my power bill back at my overly nice apartment.

10-Sleeping with the windows open in the dead of summer.

11- Waking up to dad making the best eggs you will every have...twice in one weekend.

12-Having a camp fire behind the house, making S'Mores with Mom, Dad and Grandma in the fire pit made from a tractor tire wheel.  (Honestly the best thing)

13-Family prayer.
14-Going to the Canyon County Fair with Cole and Dad and taking Kier to experience it all.  Mostly remembering that I showed in that fair for 10 years.  #farmlife

There are just so many things that I love about going home.  It reminds me of past friendships (great ones), childhood memories with my siblings and cousins, the great love that my parents have for their children, it doesn't let me forget that I'm a country girl at heart, it helps me remember what it's like to be simple yet great, and it helps me realize how blessed I really was back then and how extremely blessed I am right now.

Here's to learning to keep taking in those moments here in Utah, to living simply, not caring what the world thinks, making new memories, not forgetting my past but moving on to my future.. and making it all count!

oh.. and to writing crap down more often! 

I guess here are a couple of this week's quotes just because that post was so long and serious :) 

"Mason, Auntie's going to Memaw's and Papa's to see the cows tomorrow!" -Me to Mason



"Chickens? Bife" 
-Mason meaning that he knows we are going to see the chickens and grandpas KNIFE.

"Yep.  I'm going with Coleman and Kiersten!" -me
"Mason?!" -Mason trying to get me to take him
"No, I'm sorry, you have to stay with mommy." -me
"Mason?! mason. MASON?!" -Mason with the cute little way he holds up his hands and makes really serious faces while thinking that was going to work and that he would be able to come too.
Actually, if I could I would have hopped on an airplane right then and picked him up to take him to Memaw's and Papa's just to see the chickens and Knife.. Why? Because he's THAT adorable and I miss him that much.

"I didn't want to be like, 'Oh, Morgan Freeman,' and you guys be like 'no, that's Wil Smith.' That's what happens."
-Kier explaining to us why she didn't say who she thought an actor was on the old (1991) Robin Hood with Kevin Costner.
FIrst of all, if you haven't seen that movie, BOOOO to you.  And yes, it's Morgan Freeman.  I just about died.  I know it's a young-er Morgan Freeman but I thought everyone including my 2 year old nephew could point out Morgan Freeman.. especially his voice at least.  But she's right.  We know she's not the best at identifying celebs in movies and stuff so it probably shouldn't have surprised me.  Actually, I don't think it really surprised me too much.  I just loved how the next best black actor she came up with to compare to Morgan Freeman was WIL SMITH. BAHAHAHHA that's the best part, I feel. 


"I think she could suck BLOOD!"
-Grandma (being real serious) talking about her cat Trish who likes to "suck" still
You think I'm kidding but I'm not.  I can't.  Grandma said that her cat (Trish.. which Kier and I couldn't get over her name all weekend) thinks she's a house cat.  However, grandma doesn't let her in her room because Trish likes to suck on her.  At first I thought to myself "please don't tell me she mean's... nipple." But then I realized just how weird, gross and twisted that was.. First? How would a cat know where a human nipple was when it's clothed.  haha.  So I finally asked what Trish would 'suck' on and grandma said that she would just suck on anything.. her arm, belly whatever.  NIGHTMARE.  I seriously hate cats already but the thought of a cat that likes to suckle on a human and could probably "suck blood." Omg, I can not.

Wednesday.

"Rosie is a racist. She barked at a Mexican today.  She never barks at people."
-Amy about her dog
When she told me this I couldn't stop laughing. Not that I think racism is funny or a joke, because it's not.  One of the girls on Big Brother right now is straight up racist...she's rude. But a dog? Yeah, it probably isn't really racist.  hahahahaha

Actually I take it back... a racist dog is funny.

"I'm not the cashier." *insert look of disgust
-Cafe Rie brat to Kari
One of the workers at Cafe Rio was the worst.  Kari was simply asking the chica about the sizes of quesadillas and the price difference and homegirl was straight up rude.  Maybe she was having a bad day?  I don't know.  I mean, part of me wants to have sympathy because she has to fill those yummy tortillas with delicious meat, rice and beans and stuff all day long, but get real.  You have a job.  Do it and don't be rude.

Julie had to say something to the manager because this girl was seriously not nice.  We didn't really want anything out of it.. especially not that nasty coffee/flan dessert they gave us.. Ole? 

"I did the worm.  Who does that?!.. I have no regrets.  Livin' the vida loca."
-Nieko
You know it's an interesting/good day when someone does the worm, bruises their chin in the process and quotes Ricky Martin all within 24 hours. Leave it to Nieko. haha

"Jokes on you, DAVID'S BRIDAL!!"
-Kier about getting 75% off all her accessories
I told you all about the scratch coupons but I didn't tell you that Kier said this REALLY loud and in a taunting way right in front of a few workers after she realized she was about to get a smokin' deal on all of her stuff.  Like SMOKIN deal.  We were sure to take advantage of it.  Best.Thing.Ever.  Joke really was on them.  She deserved it though.  Especially after having to listen to some of the comments the greasy employees said.  They were rude...and dressed like hobos.

"Whales are my biggest fear."
-Klohe Kardashian
FINALLY someone who understands it. Without a doubt, whales are right at the top of my list of fears. Top 5 for sure.  Possibly even top three..  People just don't get it.  But it goes along with some of my other fears including: All things in the ocean, and open water in general.  So naturally whales are going to be at the top of the list.  They live in the ocean and they are HUGE.  Seriously a nightmare. 

"I guess short engagements are a thing in Utah."
-David's worker to Kier after she told her they'd been engaged for 2 months.
Really?! it's like she doesn't live in Utah or something.  She was shocked that they have a 3 month engagement.  HAHAHA.  Pretty sure that's considered long in these parts.  All that aside, even if you think it's strange, I feel like it would be good to not make dumb comments when you're trying to convince someone to buy a dress. Just a thought.  

Same goes to the greasy worker who kept saying "WOW that's so soon.  You better find one, like today..Alterations alone take 8 Weeks."  Umm.. OK. Oh don't you worry, Kier and I both gave her  snotty looks.  She was annoying.  It's like, 1.) Thank you for stating things we already know. 2.) You're not helping 3.) That's why we're there dress shopping and 4.) did you know your hair looks like Pony Boy from the Outsiders? Get steppin, Greaser.  

Ok, that was rude.  But she was rude...and not helpful.

"What can we help you with?" -Employee at David's Bridal
"I need a dress.. *Silence*... And she needs a Tux." -Kier pointing to me
"How about a romper?" -Julie
HAHAHAHA really though?!  What else would we be coming into the store for?  We're looking for a wedding dress! But really, I wish the lady would have reacted a little better about me needing a tux.  Maybe she didn't hear the joke correctly because that shiz was funny.. and she didn't even laugh.  Crap, maybe she was a lesbian?  Opps.

For the record, I have nothing against lesbians.  At all.  We just wanted to show the lady that Yes, we came to David's Bridal looking for a wedding dress.  Done and Done.

But Julie's romper comment later on? BAHAHAHA.  

Just an update

I've been called out a couple times this week about not updating my blog.  I've said it before and I'll say it again.. I'm the worst.  Things have been mucho crazy and I feel like I haven't really had anything going on.  Story of my life.  Of course that's not even 100% truthful considering the fact, I'm alive.  Alive=breathing=stuff going on.  For posterity sake (and for those who like to blog stalk me) here's the update.

The biggest thing this month is that my coworker that I was hired with when I started on June 1, 2010 at FC, left the company to follow her husband to Law School in Florida.   It's only been one week without her so far and it's just not the same.  I miss her.  It's funny how you get to be such good friends with coworkers.  I mean, it's sad but you spend so much of your awake time at work so it's a blessing when you can truly say that you love your coworkers.  I miss Amy. Since she's been gone, I've taken on a lot of work including training her replacement, Tessa.  I really like Tessa.  Sure, it's not the same but I'm making the most of it.  It will just be SUPER non-stop crazy at work for the next few weeks I feel.   I'm learning that I'm kind of awesome though.  haha.  No really,  it's amazing what we are capable of when it comes down to doing hard things.

Speaking of hard things.. I'm still not loving some of the changes coming up.  None of it really feels real yet.  I'm indifferent about it all.  I'm not going to lie, though.. Sometimes I legitimately day dream about getting a place in Idaho and moving home near my parents.  I think that's just me knowing change is coming and wanting to run away.  So I won't.  But I'm not going to be hard on myself for dreaming of that.  It sounds awesome.  But alas, it's not happening.  wahhhhh.  Remember how I just said that It's amazing what we are capable when it comes to doing hard things? Can  I take it back?

jk.

Things are going great.  Next weekend Cole and Kier and I get to go home for the weekend with M&D.  Just in time for the Canyon County Fair. Woot Woot.  Fave. But we're realizing that the summer is flying by and that the wedding is SO close..  Not like we could forget that though.  All the employees at David's bridal made SURE that we knew that the wedding was SO close as we were wedding dress shopping for Kier's dress today.  Aparently people go a few months before rather than a few weeks.  Huh.  Who knew?  But really, homegirl at David's Bridal was a mess.  It took a couple of eye rolls and comments to finally get her to go away.  Kier wasn't having it.  If she said one more thing to us I just know that Kier would have called her a name and told her to get stepping.  Funny.

But rude, poorly dressed and greasy employees aside, Kier found THE dress.  I'm not allowed to tell you what it looks like or how much it cost but I will tell you that we got a SMOKING Deal on everything.  Especially the accessories.  There were a couple of GREAT things that happened.  First of course was when she finally decided on the dress.  At David's when you find the right one you get to ring a bell and everyone claps for you.  Cheese ball but magical.  Kier took it to the next level and ran all around the store ringing the bell.  It was for sure THE dress.  We screams, clapped and video taped it for later.  That was the best part.  Mostly because that is the first time in a while that I've seen her be so happy and not stressed about wedding stuff in a long time.  It was perfect and I'm so happy for her .

The second best thing is the smoking deal on the accessories.  Want the story? Too bad, I'm telling it anyways.

They were giving away scratch cards to each bride that gave you a certain percent off of all your accessories.  Kier scratched hers and she got 25 % which was the lowest you could get.  So you know that means that almost all of them probably say 25% off.  Anyways, we left for a little while after putting a dress on hold and went to get dinner to just ponder and fill our bellies.  By the time we made it back from Cafe Rio, we realized that we lost the coupon card.  Typical.  The lady told us it was fine and that she could scratch another one.  Kier's face lit up when she got 75% off.  All.her.accessories.  This isn't a joke.  Like for real.  We quickly decided to get everything that you could possibly need and I'll just tell you she saved a crap ton of money!!! hahaha  Best thing ever.

Dress.  Deals.  Money in the bank.  Weddings.  Family..

Oh and to top off the great day, I was also able to spend the morning with Kenzie and a couple other High school friends at McKenzie's Baby shower.  I made her a quilt (my first one) and it is seriously adorable.   I'm pretty proud of it.   It's one of those things you do and you kind of want to keep it for yourself because it's THAT adorable.  not kidding.  I just can't believe that the baby girl is almost here.. GAH. I can't even wait.  Oh and she is the cutest pregnant lady ever.  So tiny.  Love it.  Love her.  Love that baby already!!

Seriously there is beauty and goodness all around.

Things are just great!  We have a lot of work to do over the next few weeks to get ready for the wedding but what an exciting time.  Even though it's a lot of work, hard times or changes around the corner it's in the midst of a lot of GREAT things.

Pray for us though.  haha

But really.

Wednesday

I was reminded that I missed last week's Wednesday post via a snap chat from Kiersten.  It's good to know that some people still enjoy reading the funny crap I write down each week!  Just because I was gone last week and didn't post doesn't mean that I didn't have a few things jotted down from the week before.  I totally did but I was too busy sweating my face off in Maryland and playing with Mason.  You guys, he is 2 years old now and funnier and cuter than ever.  I love his sass, I love the words he says, I love that he always wants his Auntie and that he knows that I'm a sucker and will do anything for him, and I love that he is super fun.  

I had a great week spending time with family and just hanging it out taking it easy.  It wasn't a beach vacation or a huge site seeing adventure, but it's always good when I get to see my sister and have a week away from work.  I just can't believe that they live so far away and that it gets so stinking hot and humid there.  I kid you not, we went into DC for a day to go to the Smithsonian Zoo and see the White house and the monuments and it was so embarrassing how much my face was sweating, and how it didn't seem to bother anyone else.  Maybe I'm a baby, but it was miserable.  But pretty and green there that's for sure!  I'm back now and back into the swing of things.  I will probably blog more about the trip later but until then, here is the Wednesday post :) 

"I love Ben Affleck.  He's def in my top 5."
-Me to Kier during the previews at the movies

"Oh me too... Except in that "Just Friends" movie." -Kier

"you know that's Ryan Reynold's, right?" -me

It's funny but Kiersten never really watched a lot of movies until she started dating Cole and realized that she was going to be part of a family who LOVES going to the movies, so I'm not shocked when she doesn't know certain celebrity things (ie: the time I found out she didn't know Ja Rule, Hanson..and now Ryan Reynolds) it's whatever.  I sure got a kick out of it though..right there in the theater.

"Did you ask her about tit?"

-Me over IM to a coworker

Clearly I meant to say "about it,"  but it came out SO WRONG.  Luckily it was to an older woman who didn't have much to comment about it and to someone I wouldn't mind joking around with.  But I just feel like saying things like TIT in the office isn't something you just do.  Leave it to me.

"Chris, will you take me to the opera?"
-Willy while at the movies

"I'll drop you off..." -Chris

I love that willy asked that (probably only half kidding. haha)  but I mostly love that Chris didn't even hesitate.  That's what made it so funny.  He's seriously so nice that you just can't help but love the kid but kinnnnd of hate him at the same time only because you hate that you will never be that nice of a person. I feel like that's a good quality to have.  Dang it, Chris.  Making us look bad.

"I'm in Trouble.. We're of of Coconut cream cake." 
-Waiter to James after telling us he had some at the restaurant

"Trouble, Trouble." -Mason mocking the waiter

The kid is OBSESSED with Taylor Swift's "I Knew You Were Trouble" song.  You guys would have died if you heard this happen.  Mason was totally making fun of the waiter because he knew he was in trouble.  I can't even count how many times he made us listen to that song last week.  He loves it.  He only does a few parts but the ones he does, he does them really well.  Especially the part where she goes all high pitched and sings"OHHH, OHHHHH," before she goes into the "trouble trouble."  Mason SCREAMS it.  Even the 2 year old gets how annoying that part of the song is.  I love him even more for that. 

"Utah?! You don't hear that around here too much.  I always forget that's a state."

-Mall worker in Maryland

The guy at the mall was really nice and was interested in what Utah was like because he HATED his home state. I mostly just thought it was a little funny that he "forgets that Utah is a state." I kind of don't get that.  Like at all.  Is this what Miss South Carolina was talking about?  You know, with the Iraq and how some people don't have maps?  Maybe she was right. hmmm.

Weird.

"I'm a Maniac, Maniac!"

-Mom reenacting how she was spraying dad off with the hose this weekend after butchering chickens and dad danced around (Clearly quoting Tommy Boy)^^

First of all, I HATE that I missed Dad do this.  Like, hate it because I know that it was probably the funniest thing ever.  I also love that Jamie and I instantly asked mom if she asked dad if he "ate a lot of paint chips as a kid" because everyone knows that is a famous part of that movie. She just laughed and said no.  We ended the conversation only to have her call us 20 minutes later to tell us that she thought dad was quoting "Flash Dance" the entire time. WTH, mom?  Flash Dance.  Um, no. Dad was so ticked when she told him that because it totally ruined how funny his act was.  Boooo, mom!

 Mom's never been good at movie quotes.  Ever.  We still love her though.

"Anything that lives under water can't be pretty.  So a human wouldn't be either after being down there that long." -Amanda to Nieko and I during our discussion about the "Mermaid" (creature) special on the Discovery Channel.

"You know they aren't human, right?" -me

We really just died laughing after that.  Mermaids. Real humans. BAHAHAHA.  Actually anything in the ocean..hahaha.  If you're wondering why I'm laughing it's because of dolphins.  Always dolphins.  Don't believe me? They are weird. And perverted.

"It was a chocolate donut with white frosting and a Dorito in the middle."

-Nieko who meant to say "It was a chocolate cupcake with an Oreo in the middle."

Clearly we were talking about food late at night and we were craving all sorts of things I think.  However, that donut-dorito concoction sounds nast.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" *demon voice*

-Amanda in the most demonic voice I've ever heard come out of a little blond women ever. period

I think we were googling the images of the women who got her face eaten off by her pet chimp.  That, or it could have been the Miami Zombie on bath salts thing.. Whichever it was at the time, she saw the picture, a demon possessed her body (or something), and she scared us with this frightening response.  

We're all a little weird.

"Do you date a lot here." 

-STEPHANIE the new girl in the ward within the first minute of meeting her.

"Ha. No, not really." -me

"Well, that's a shame because I got a guy's number on the first day I got here." -STEPHANIE in the snottiest tone.

Don't worry, I instantly rolled my eyes and responded with "I've been in this ward for almost a year and trust me, there's no one I would want to date here."  Yes, I'm rude, but this girl was straight up trippin and needed to check herself.  First of all, who goes up with someone in the first minute of meeting them tries to insult them and act like they are better than you?  All I have to say about that is 1.) I was trying to fellowship you, (mean word) 2.) Congrats for being creepy and asking that guy for his number 3.) You're not as cool as you think you are and 4.) Amanda's arms aren't big.  Yes.  She legit told her that in reference to her beating up Jared. I don't care how she was meaning it but I don't know who this girl thought she was.. HA. smh.  The first day of FHE. smh....