Wednesday

I was reminded that I missed last week's Wednesday post via a snap chat from Kiersten.  It's good to know that some people still enjoy reading the funny crap I write down each week!  Just because I was gone last week and didn't post doesn't mean that I didn't have a few things jotted down from the week before.  I totally did but I was too busy sweating my face off in Maryland and playing with Mason.  You guys, he is 2 years old now and funnier and cuter than ever.  I love his sass, I love the words he says, I love that he always wants his Auntie and that he knows that I'm a sucker and will do anything for him, and I love that he is super fun.  

I had a great week spending time with family and just hanging it out taking it easy.  It wasn't a beach vacation or a huge site seeing adventure, but it's always good when I get to see my sister and have a week away from work.  I just can't believe that they live so far away and that it gets so stinking hot and humid there.  I kid you not, we went into DC for a day to go to the Smithsonian Zoo and see the White house and the monuments and it was so embarrassing how much my face was sweating, and how it didn't seem to bother anyone else.  Maybe I'm a baby, but it was miserable.  But pretty and green there that's for sure!  I'm back now and back into the swing of things.  I will probably blog more about the trip later but until then, here is the Wednesday post :) 

"I love Ben Affleck.  He's def in my top 5."
-Me to Kier during the previews at the movies

"Oh me too... Except in that "Just Friends" movie." -Kier

"you know that's Ryan Reynold's, right?" -me

It's funny but Kiersten never really watched a lot of movies until she started dating Cole and realized that she was going to be part of a family who LOVES going to the movies, so I'm not shocked when she doesn't know certain celebrity things (ie: the time I found out she didn't know Ja Rule, Hanson..and now Ryan Reynolds) it's whatever.  I sure got a kick out of it though..right there in the theater.

"Did you ask her about tit?"

-Me over IM to a coworker

Clearly I meant to say "about it,"  but it came out SO WRONG.  Luckily it was to an older woman who didn't have much to comment about it and to someone I wouldn't mind joking around with.  But I just feel like saying things like TIT in the office isn't something you just do.  Leave it to me.

"Chris, will you take me to the opera?"
-Willy while at the movies

"I'll drop you off..." -Chris

I love that willy asked that (probably only half kidding. haha)  but I mostly love that Chris didn't even hesitate.  That's what made it so funny.  He's seriously so nice that you just can't help but love the kid but kinnnnd of hate him at the same time only because you hate that you will never be that nice of a person. I feel like that's a good quality to have.  Dang it, Chris.  Making us look bad.

"I'm in Trouble.. We're of of Coconut cream cake." 
-Waiter to James after telling us he had some at the restaurant

"Trouble, Trouble." -Mason mocking the waiter

The kid is OBSESSED with Taylor Swift's "I Knew You Were Trouble" song.  You guys would have died if you heard this happen.  Mason was totally making fun of the waiter because he knew he was in trouble.  I can't even count how many times he made us listen to that song last week.  He loves it.  He only does a few parts but the ones he does, he does them really well.  Especially the part where she goes all high pitched and sings"OHHH, OHHHHH," before she goes into the "trouble trouble."  Mason SCREAMS it.  Even the 2 year old gets how annoying that part of the song is.  I love him even more for that. 

"Utah?! You don't hear that around here too much.  I always forget that's a state."

-Mall worker in Maryland

The guy at the mall was really nice and was interested in what Utah was like because he HATED his home state. I mostly just thought it was a little funny that he "forgets that Utah is a state." I kind of don't get that.  Like at all.  Is this what Miss South Carolina was talking about?  You know, with the Iraq and how some people don't have maps?  Maybe she was right. hmmm.

Weird.

"I'm a Maniac, Maniac!"

-Mom reenacting how she was spraying dad off with the hose this weekend after butchering chickens and dad danced around (Clearly quoting Tommy Boy)^^

First of all, I HATE that I missed Dad do this.  Like, hate it because I know that it was probably the funniest thing ever.  I also love that Jamie and I instantly asked mom if she asked dad if he "ate a lot of paint chips as a kid" because everyone knows that is a famous part of that movie. She just laughed and said no.  We ended the conversation only to have her call us 20 minutes later to tell us that she thought dad was quoting "Flash Dance" the entire time. WTH, mom?  Flash Dance.  Um, no. Dad was so ticked when she told him that because it totally ruined how funny his act was.  Boooo, mom!

 Mom's never been good at movie quotes.  Ever.  We still love her though.

"Anything that lives under water can't be pretty.  So a human wouldn't be either after being down there that long." -Amanda to Nieko and I during our discussion about the "Mermaid" (creature) special on the Discovery Channel.

"You know they aren't human, right?" -me

We really just died laughing after that.  Mermaids. Real humans. BAHAHAHA.  Actually anything in the ocean..hahaha.  If you're wondering why I'm laughing it's because of dolphins.  Always dolphins.  Don't believe me? They are weird. And perverted.

"It was a chocolate donut with white frosting and a Dorito in the middle."

-Nieko who meant to say "It was a chocolate cupcake with an Oreo in the middle."

Clearly we were talking about food late at night and we were craving all sorts of things I think.  However, that donut-dorito concoction sounds nast.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" *demon voice*

-Amanda in the most demonic voice I've ever heard come out of a little blond women ever. period

I think we were googling the images of the women who got her face eaten off by her pet chimp.  That, or it could have been the Miami Zombie on bath salts thing.. Whichever it was at the time, she saw the picture, a demon possessed her body (or something), and she scared us with this frightening response.  

We're all a little weird.

"Do you date a lot here." 

-STEPHANIE the new girl in the ward within the first minute of meeting her.

"Ha. No, not really." -me

"Well, that's a shame because I got a guy's number on the first day I got here." -STEPHANIE in the snottiest tone.

Don't worry, I instantly rolled my eyes and responded with "I've been in this ward for almost a year and trust me, there's no one I would want to date here."  Yes, I'm rude, but this girl was straight up trippin and needed to check herself.  First of all, who goes up with someone in the first minute of meeting them tries to insult them and act like they are better than you?  All I have to say about that is 1.) I was trying to fellowship you, (mean word) 2.) Congrats for being creepy and asking that guy for his number 3.) You're not as cool as you think you are and 4.) Amanda's arms aren't big.  Yes.  She legit told her that in reference to her beating up Jared. I don't care how she was meaning it but I don't know who this girl thought she was.. HA. smh.  The first day of FHE. smh....