Being realistic.

I just went through all of my drafted posts on this blog and deleted them. You see, I have this problem where I type things either in fits of rage, extreme confusion, or frustration, only to get to the end of the post and realize that I'm being really dramatic, or irrational.  I then decide to just save the post and to let myself cool it for a day or two.  If I can go back after I'm cooled down and hit the submit button without any worry, then I would do it.  The problem is that if I can't post it the first time, then it must make me look pretty bad or be super rude or something, so it just ends up getting deleted. 

This last week I did a post about how semi-confused I was about something that doesn't even matter.   I re-read it again this morning and was annoyed with myself.  I was being that dramatic girl about something that, until this weekend, had never been said out loud.  The post was annoying because I couldn't come out and really make that crap public...because it simply didn't matter, and would never matter.  

I realized this week while talking to a good friend that, while it's good to be "ballsy" in life, it's really irrelevant to make bold moves when it comes to something that isn't good for you.  

We all occasionally get tricked into thinking that things or people are good for us.  Maybe it's just what's around or what feels good at the time or we're just bored and want a change, but sometimes our little brains and big hearts forget to think about the big picture. 

I normally would be the one who would give people advice and say "if it's worth it then do something about it. Pray about it first, but try it.  What do you have to lose?"  BUT..the problem isn't really actually getting yourself to make bold moves I don't think. Yes, that part is hard, but I think the hardest part is deciding if it's worth it or if it fits into your life "plan." This can relate to anything really..

If you ever find your brain running about something that seems ridiculous.  Shut it down.  Decide if it's worth it to make a move.  If it is, then stop thinking about it and do something about it.  You really don't have anything to lose. Apply for that job, move to a completely different state because it feels right, tell that friend exactly how you feel!  If it's worth it, then you have to at least try.  Maybe it won't work out.. but at least you can say you tried and you can move on to the next thing.

Now, the harder situation is when you think you want something or someone but deep down you know that it's not right for you or would never work out.  People might say that's being really cynical, but I feel like it's just being realistic.  There are some things that are intriguing to me or catch my eye but that doesn't mean that it would ever work out or be what I need. That doesn't mean that I have a bad attitude or that I'm not a dreamer, it's just being realistic.

I've found that the best thing to do when in this situation is to think about years down the road.. what are you doing?  Where are you living?  Are you in love?   What is that person like? Why do you love them? 

Really.. think about it right now before you read on. 

You don't have all the answers and you don't know exactly how life will play out, but all of those things you just thought about are what you really want and I promise you that those things are attainable.  (If you took it serious of course..  I mean, I could have said that "I'm a celebrity, married to a recently baptized Zac Efron and I love him because he has the priesthood, he is funny and is good to me." haha you get what I'm saying.)  If you took it seriously then the things you probably thought about are simple, basic, realistic things of what you want/need to have a happy fulfilled life. 

If something doesn't fit into that plan then why would you waste your time?  I don't know.. every person is different and I guess you can still follow through with it even if it is the exact opposite of where you want to be. Learning experiences? idk. do what you want. It could work out.  Me?  I go with what feels good but I don't like taking detours or wasting time.


I guess what I'm saying is that yes, we have irrational thoughts and feelings sometimes. You can decide to feed into them OR you can see where it fits into your plan of what you want down the road.  If it doesn't, don't do it. Forget about it and move on.  If it does and you keep getting the feeling that you need to do something (as long as it doesn't physically hurt you.. I want to make sure I get that straight), then you just need to be ballsy. Stop thinking about it and do it. You can even call me and I will help give you the confidence or bother you until you get it done ;)

Just do whatever you can to make sure you're progressing and happy!

For me.. I will just chalk one up to a lapse in judgment and irrational word vomit.
Don't ask--It's already irrelevant and forgotten :) 

Carpe Diem!