"Calories consumed the week before Christmas aren't real."
-Someone who commented on a friends' FB status (#creepstatus)
But really.. I wish that were true. Why are there so many good treats during Christmas? It's rude. I guess that's why we have New Year's resolutions right after. Because we all need to get our honky butt's to the gym after all the Christmas treats--that's why!
"Good thing you aren't over here or I'd kiss you right on the lips."
-Coworker to me via IM about the Oreo Truffles I brought in to share.
The best part about it? The Coworker was a 50 or 60-something year old women. My response.. "Haha. That good huh?!" AWKWARD.
"It smells like sunshine and butterflies in here!"
-I can't remember if it was Chris or Vu who said it.. but it was one of the guys in my backseat on Saturday.
Apparently my cheap Walmart "STRAWBERRY" freshener works. huh. Who knew? I guess I better get more of those because after Monday's FHE my car reeks of Maple Doughnuts. Don't get me wrong, I love those things, but that's the last thing a girl like me needs her car smelling like. #fatgirlproblems ? hahaha jk. sort of.
"Jenn! Don't sit on that couch!"
-Nieko quickly whispered/kind of yelled to me as I turned and walked away from him
Here's the thing. Sometimes you go to places where you aren't sure if it's even safe to sit down...anywhere...and that's a problem. haha. You think I'm kidding, or being dramatic? not.even.close.
"I'm assuming we all want to get married and have kids...And girls will be like "why won't he ask me out?" and I'm like, "I can barely provide for myself." It's just like, you gotta have faith, you know?"
-Kid in Sunday School
This is just a snip-it of what he said and honestly, I'm not sure how he managed to tie it all together or how he thought it all made sense but..whatever. I was dying. There was one point he was talking about his iPod shuffle too. haha I don't care what you say.. Sunday School and the Single's Ward in general is totally entertaining.
"I feel like I look my best right.now."
-Kier about herself as she looked at me awkwardly with doughnut all over her lips and *whisper*...boob area.
hahahahaha. She kills me!
"Put it on KSL...12 bucks you didn't have before. It's better than what it's doing just sitting in your closet...Put it in your savings account. Make money."
-Easton
Although I appreciate his advice on money and savings... I REALLY doubt that someone is going to want to buy my TWO year old Swiffer Wet Jet. HAHAHAHAHA you guys, I'm not kidding. I was telling everyone about how my Swiffer doesn't work on the floors in this new apartment and THAT was his suggestion: "Put it on KSL." haha. Easton. smh.
"...Circus Penis..."
-Liz trying to say Circus Peanuts...like, the weird candy that mysteriously tastes sort of like bubble gum and tastes like you're biting into a sponge. That kind!
*Gasp* I said Penis on my blog. Get over it. omg. Liz is seriously the sweetest girl (ok, well..most of the time) and she's getting ready to go on her mission. In Fact, she is getting her call TONIGHT! Anyways, when she slips and says things like this ^^^ it's super funny and we like to give her crap about it :) Oh Liz, we are going to miss you!!
"Karma. It's a real thing."
-Savanna
Amen.
-----------------Story time.
Let me break this down.. I ended up somewhere this weekend where there were some class act people. Not my finest hour...or two or three. Anyways, I won't go into detail about everyone because I'm sure that my first impressions wouldn't 1.) do justice to how I really felt about everyone there and 2) wouldn't really be fair because I'm sure deep down they were all really great people...to someone. moving on.
There was this one guy there who, simply/rudely stated, was Mexican and toothless. Now, just because I have all my teeth, I'm not perfect.. I get that. But I'd like to think that I'm a friendly person. The fact is, there are just some people who you will never fit in with or feel comfortable around. That was this guy. He didn't say ANYTHING almost the entire night. And by that I mean, he just pointed at things, shrugged his shoulders and well, just looked kind of scary. He wasn't a big guy. In fact, I was totally bigger than he was. But he just had that.. "don't mess with me, I don't even have to talk for people to know what I'm thinking/I was probably in a gang" look. OK, now I'm just judging too much. But that's how I felt. Well, there was one point in the night where he walked in the house, stopped in front of me, starred (INCHES FROM MY FACE) and Howled/Barked. I was so scared I'm actually not sure what noise came out of his toothless mouth because now that I'm writing this, the sound that comes to my head is almost like an Indian (feather, not dot) "WHOOP/Chant" kind of sound.. you know.. like Last of the Mohican kind of crap... whatever it was.. he did it and then he just walked away.
I laughed and then had a TINY panic attack.
I know I say this a lot.. but this was a legit NIGHTMARE.
Nieko will back me up on this one.
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