Wednesday's Quotes and Such...2 Weeks

So I'm sorry that this might seem like a Tracy Hansen edition.  But I was with my family all week so that's just what you get :)  But here are just the quotes that I've collected over the last two weeks since I was out all last week :

"I showed you mine, now you show me yours!"
-Easton to Jared about his butt.
You know you've just been on Chatroulette, or on it too much, when something like that comes out of your mouth.  bahahahaha.

"Did you see what Julene got herself for her birthday?!" -Me
"oh wow. A Big Mac?!" -Cole
What he really meant to say was "iMac".  I giggled.

"#Tree"
-Jared
First we gave the kid crap for not having a smart phone.. then we give him crap for not knowing how to use it.  But Nieko and I just about lost it when he posted literally the crappiest blurry pic of a tree and just hashtagged #TREE.  No other comment. nothing.  Just the hastag.  Best.thing.everr.


"Shut the [H] up, woman."
-Dad
you would think that my dad has something against women or something because I'm pretty sure this same quote has made this segment in the past.  On the real, he didn't mean it... (for the most part. haha) He's mostly just being funny when he says stuff like that because he knows that it cracks me up.

"Give me a bite of that chicken." -Mom 
"Ummm. This is a cup of water." -me
hahaha Clearly she is blind without her glasses on. 

"Did you just say crotch? That shouldn't come out of your mouth. I didn't raise you that way!"
-Mom to Cole
You would think that I edited that quote because "Crotch" isn't a bad word. haha. But I kid you not, my mom was like, so upset that Cole said the word crotch.  The funniest part is that this all went down after we had turned all the lights out in the hotel room while on our trip last week and were getting ready for bed.  Cole and I shared a bed and I think he was telling me that he was going to kick me in the crotch.  Either that or it was after he was quoting Step Brothers.  Of course we always keep it going because ticking mom off is super funny. Classic.

"Let's make like a whale and blow this hole."
-Dad
He thought he was quoting Cole who earlier said, "Let's blow this whale hole,"  So Dad thought he was being pretty cool.  I got a kick out of it.

"Cole, Plank this! Plank that. Cole, cole! Plank that cannon, plank this bench...plank..."
-Dad after finding out about planking.
I'm serious, my dad thought it was so funny.  So for about 10 minutes after he was introduced to this new thing, he wanted Cole to plank EVERYTHING in Disneyland. Cole did not.  But when he did plank the huge lego piece inside of the LegoLand store.  That was funny.  The workers even laughed.

"It's like a good Bidet."
-Dad about the World of Color water show at California Adventure.
hahaha. OK, so everyone else sees this water show that is like the Bellagio times 100 and thinks "Oh how Magical! I love princesses and Disney" and stuff and Tracy thinks about toilets and junk.  #freakinweirdo

"I've been 'liking' a lot of cat pictures lately."
-Jason, the Asian friend I was telling you about.
I've told him over and over again that cats just really creep me out and I just think they are really weird.  Jason loves them.  In fact, he "likes" pictures of them on facebook all the time and puts them on the background on his phone.  I'm not judging him.  Actually, I find his fascination with felines to be quite hilarious.  But don't get me started on the whole grudge thing.  I shouldn't have told him that I think he looks like that little Asian boy on that movie.  He creepily meows at me now.  NIGHTMARE

"Hey! What are you doing over there all by yourself!?" -Erin, the relief society president shouting across the field at the tri-ward FHE.
"TWEETING!" -me
"You're Tweeting? (haha) Well, at least you're cute!" -Erin...Still shouting.
I don't know what that's supposed to mean, but thank you for pointing out that I was sitting by myself at that moment, Tweeting ...and then shouting "at least you're cute" so that everyone can hear. Like I question that or something?  haha. jk She's seriously so funny and nice. But it was a little awkward. 

"Are you making dipping sauce?"
-Jason
Only an Asian would call SALSA, "dipping sauce." Right? Bahahaha omg. I can not...He then went on to tell me that he doesn't really like Mexican food, but ate some of the salsa and said it was good.  That kid. haha. smh.

"We prefer Armani." -Jamie talking about clothes for me to get Mason
"Is Gucci OK?" -Me
"Yeah, that will work." -Jamie
We play make believe on the phone sometimes and it's fun. The best part is that we act like we are serious for a while until we bust up laughing.  haha I mean, like we'd ever buy that for a baby... haha I mean, at all. There I go again.

[don't worry that I had to leave out two of the things my dad said because they were a little inappropriate. Yeah, My dad. smh. Jesh.  I will just say that one of them had to do with the Toy Story Character, Woody.  I'm sure you can see where he went with that... Get real, dad :) ]