Wednesday

"I've got the sugar sweats."
-Sam
Ok, so this one was said a couple of weeks ago but I found it in my notes on my phone and had to share.  Remember that time when every one of my friends made fun of me for getting a neck freeze at Sonic?  Well, they still make fun of me for it.  In fact, Chris made fun of me at Cole and Kier's wedding while eating Zepe's and I didn't even catch it.  He claimed he had a neck freeze and those are real.. I wasn't going to judge.  ANYWAYS, Sam was eating some gummy bears and he claimed that he had the "sugar sweats."  I know I shouldn't make fun but I feel like sugar sweats are less real than neck freezes are.  He also claims "meat sweats" are real. He said when he eats an access amount of mean or sugar he sweats.  I feel like he made it up.. but I googled it and there is at least one other unlucky soul with the same problem.  But I bet if we put sugar sweats up against a neck freeze, I feel like the neck freeze would be deemed more real.  They hurt.  It's a real thing.

"You have nothing to offer"
-Kiersten
Now, Nieko and Amanda would probably have to help me remember what she exactly said but this is how I remember it. What she should have done was just shot me right in the face because that's how much those words hurt.  

haha ok, I know she didn't mean it that way.  She was talking about my facebook status when I posted that anyone who found us a roommate would get paid in "smiles and Texas Roadhouse Rolls." Well, since Amanda works at Texas Roadhouse she just assumed that the thing I was offering to pay was the smiles.  GET REAL.  1.) Anyone can buy rolls from Texas Roadhouse and 2.) Who doesn't want smiles from me?  Plus, I'm funny.  That status was funny.  and 3.) You're rude. (not all the time but you were a little snippy towards only me that night for some reason.. See next quote)

"No, JENN! I'm not OK.  I almost got electrocuted." 
-Kier unleashing the wrath of Satan after being shocked.
Can we please take a moment to mention the reason she was shocked?  It happened when she decided to touch a neon white light with her bare hand.  It would be one thing if Nieko or someone convinced her to touch it, because he has a way of getting people to do dumb things, but this was all on her own.  In fact, no one was watching at all, she was just curious to see what would happen.  She just touched the neon sign under the protective plastic and instantly screamed in pain.  I was just being nice when I asked if she was OK and she yelled at me.  

We got a good laugh out of it. It was mostly funny because of what she had told me earlier.  I guess I shouldn't have even asked if she was Ok, because as we all know, I would have nothing to offer her if she truly wasn't OK.

JK.  Kier, I love you.. even when you're a meany head. 

"He had the worst breath!" -Me about the AT&T worker
"I was trying to figure out what that was.. it was like someone had the worst BO ever." -Nieko
That BO smell was legit coming out of a human mouth. The workers mouth.   The stinky, non helpful At&T worker's mouth to be exact.  Nieko and I spent the next 10 minutes after we left the store talking about his breath.  It's honestly a toss up between which makes me the most angry between his breath or the fact that my iPhone 5S just barely shipped this morning after a month of waiting around.  Gross.  What's even worse is that Nieko's Dad and brother went into that same store the day before and had the same employee helping them.  How did we know?  His foul breath.

"My phone's dead, I have to pee, and I'm going to go on a rant like Jenn"
-Neiko
So now the truth comes out!  Apparently he thinks I go on rants or something?  Rude.  HAHHAAHA jk. I rant all the time.  The comment was valid.  You should have heard this one though.  His voice was almost gone from the Utah game, it was almost 1:00 am, and we were walking downtown Salt Lake... you'd have thought he was dying.   We got a good laugh out of it.  Once he peed and stopped complaining we quickly transitioned into singing "Benny and the Jets" most of the rest of the walk to the parking garage.  

....Good times.

"You need to store at least 10 gallons of gas somewhere for when the shi(z) hits the fan." -Dad talking about disasters
"Stop saying that nasty word." 
-Mom in reference to dad saying the S word...repeatedly.
Oh I love my parents.  My Dad and I sometimes talk about what we'd do if a disaster hit and just about being prepared.  Especially with everything that's going on with the government right now..We just want to be prepared.

Well, have I ever told you why I don't let my gas tank go under a quarter of a tank? Here you go:  1.) Because it's not good for the car, obviously but 2.) What if something crazy happened and I didn't have gas and all the crazies were killing people just to get the last drops of gas from every gas station so they could get the heck out of dodge?  I would at least be able to make it to Cole and Kier's house so I wouldn't have to face whatever was happening alone. 

Am I dramatic?  We know this already.  But I need to at least have a way to get somewhere because we all know I wouldn't be able to survive at my apartment.  I don't have storage..scratch that.. I don't really have food at all.  ey yi yi.  

Dear Santa, maybe you should get me a 72 hour kit for Christmas? Maybe a gun? 

#myfathersdaughter