Learn from mistakes. No regrets.

You always hear people say that you’re supposed to live without regrets.  It’s basically saying, “don’t do crap that you know you’ll feel sorry or sad about after you do it and make sure you take every opportunity to reach for things that you want to do or to have happen in your life because life is short.”  Easier said than done sometimes.   I don’t have a lot of regrets.  I mean, I regret not buying the teeny tiny orange pocket Shakespeare book I found at Barnes and Noble back in February.  I really can’t find it anywhere online now.  I loved that thing.  It just seemed like, well, something I didn’t need at the time.  You see, I’m usually a very anti-spend-money-on-pointless-things kind of girl.  Turns out that book wouldn’t have been pointless at all because I’ve thought about it way more than any person should ever think about a thing.  Alas, here I am months later and I still can’t stop thinking about that cute and tiny orange Shakespeare book.  When it comes to things that actually matter, though, I sometimes catch myself thinking about things I wish I would have done differently in a week or a month or something and I learn from them.  While they are regrets for a brief minute or so, I’ve realized that every decision I’ve made whether it be bad or good has made me the person I am today. 

The last couple of weeks I’ve caught myself being a little too honest with people to the point where I know it comes off as rude. I don’t love doing that but it’s so hard to sit and watch people be so rude and never have a positive thing to say about anything.  At the end of the day, I lay in bed and think about things I did, what I temporarily regret, and what I can do to improve.  One of those things is “word vomit.”  I try not to be rude to people but when they are being so negative and rude I feel morally obligated to put them in their place and positively oppose.  I know this isn't right and I don’t think about it usually.  That's how word vomit happens.  My brain doesn't think it first, it just spews right out my mouth.  Let's just say that it doesn't always come out the way I'd like it to.

I made a comment to a friend this weekend after their millionth negative comment that was very valid, true, and rude. Then came the inevitable, yet brief regret.  I’ve realized that doing this probably doesn’t help and just adds more contention.  I’m going to work on that.  But I’m not saying that I’m going to stop standing up to the negativity.  I just probably need to stop and think about things before I decide to let words come out of my mouth that could be hurtful even if I feel that they are valid and true.  I’m usually pretty good to recover and I’m sure I’m thinking about it more than she has but I made cookies just to make sure we were good.  (Side note—This life is about figuring out who you are and what you truly believe.  Continually strive to figure that out.  Don’t just go through the motions of life doing things just because you’re told that’s what you’re supposed to do.  Figure it out for yourself. Why do you really do the things you do?  What are you working toward?  What do you believe?  Think about it. Really. Rant over.)

So I guess I do briefly regret things.  But that means I’m living I think.  I do things, I learn from them, (most of the time) and I try to do better the next time. I really believe that's what we are supposed to be doing on Earth. I can’t promise that I won’t hurt anyone’s feelings again this week by being overly honest but I can promise that I will work on it.  I do think it’s a good thing to think about regrets often.  Don’t dwell on them because what’s done is done but you can think about things that you do and what you wish you would have done differently at the end of each week.  You can’t take things back but you can learn from them and grow and hopefully you will do better the next time! I really believe that as long as you learn from your mistakes, there is nothing to regret. Just try to do better.  That's all you can do!

Of course I think the worst kind of regrets, though, are usually when we sit back and don’t reach for things that we want.  I don’t really have any of those regret as of yet that I can think of but I think that’s where the motto “live without regrets” comes from.  It’s one of those things you say to yourself when you’re trying to work up the courage to do something big.  I agree.  If you want something (good and positive) you should just try.  You don’t want to live in a land of “what if’s.”  Be brave.  Take chances.  Make things happen.  Forgive yourself for crap you did in the past.  Learn from mistakes.  Grow.  Be happy. And if you find a teeny tiny orange pocket Shakespeare book anywhere..let me know.