Try.

I apologize way to often on this blog about the lack of blog posts.  I'm not going to apologize for it again but I am going to try to be better not just because so many people call me out on it but most importantly because I just love writing and blogging.  I want to set the record straight that I don't think my thoughts, stories, or opinions are greater or more entertaining than anyone else's.  I'm not the smartest girl alive.  I just think that there is something really cool about writing your feelings and thoughts down and knowing that someone will eventually read them.  It might not be today or any time this year, but somewhere along the road someone will read this post.  I don't care who the person is, really. I don't care if they get anything out of it or if they only read it because they think I'm crazy and entertaining.  Whatever.  I never expect family or friends to check my posts at all.  In fact, writing posts might be easier and slightly more honest if I knew the people closest to me wouldn't ever read them.  (I hate that I just said that, but it's honest.  I told you a while ago that I changed my privacy settings on the blog so that randos couldn't find it through google anymore.  I quickly realized that wasn't my problem.  The issue I had was that I was going through some interesting things that I wanted to write about but I felt crazy and didn't want that many people having access to it all the time.  I realized that I only cared about the people closest to me who read my blog or who might stumble across it.  What a joke.  Hiding things from people we love the most?  I really need to work on it.  As I've said many times before.. I'm not as brave as I would like to be.  Not even close..  But I've never had a bigger desire to want to change than after this last weekend.  I'll let you know how that goes but I'm not making promises because I was also told this weekend that I don't give myself enough credit.  The struggle.)

Anyways, there hasn't been a whole lot of things that have changed in the life of Jenn.  I mean, I feel like there are a lot of things going on around me but I've yet to figure out what my next "thing" will be.  I'm not asking for any big changes right now but I know that I need to work on setting some goals and getting motivated to make some changes.  We always can do better.  What I do know is that I could use some sunshine and warm weather around here!  It's definitely spring here in Utah, though.  We've gotten some pretty good rain, things are getting green, the flowers are blooming, my skin is still super white, and it occasionally is still really cold.  Like right now I'm trying to decide if I should turn on the heater or just get under the covers of my bed. But, alas, I know myself good enough to not do the latter.  I would be asleep in 20 minutes.  It's only 8:00pm..  #grandmastatus

This weekend Easton invited all of us to go up to Lava Hot Springs.  His family has a timeshare there for one week each year and apparently his family doesn't use it.  I'm not sure why but we quickly accepted the invitation.  Chris, Easton, Nieko, Sam, Willy and I went up Friday night and Cole and Kier decided to join us for Saturday and Sunday.  I'm really glad that Cole and Kier came up.  As much as I love the boys, it was nice to have another girl around for the last night.  Especially a girl who's my sister!  ha.  Mom commented on my instagram picture on Friday night saying "Jenn you're brave" because I was up there will all those boys.  Being called brave isn't something I heard too often but I don't really think of it as "brave" because since high school I've never really had a lot of "girl friends."  Amanda couldn't come because she had to work and I wasn't going to miss out on a Lava weekend with them because I was going to be the only girl.  Yeah right.  I'm used to it.  

We spent the weekend just hanging out, swimming, eating pizza, drinking too many energy drinks that are super unhealthy for you (but on the real, the Green Apple Rockstar is BOMB), watching the playoffs ( I didn't really watch them, but they were on pretty much the entire time we were in the condo), going on walks in the small town, singing Karaoke and dancing at "The Wagon Wheel", having a touch of drama (which I won't talk about because it's over and done with), having great talks, looking at the stars, and playing games.  It really was a fun weekend getaway.  Sure, we woke up to snow on Saturday and it rained quite a bit, but we were able to do all the things we wanted to do while we were there.  

I really do love my friends..each for different, specific reasons. I've learned so much from each of them over the past couple of years and wouldn't change anything about it.  We all believe in so many different things, have different standards, and are in different places in life but we care about each other too much to ever let that get in the way of our friendships as a whole or to be offended by our different beliefs.  I just like that we respect each other even when I know some things we all do might be hard for the other to understand.  I  really love surrounding myself with people from different walks of life because they have so many interesting things and ideas to bring to the table.  In fact, some of my biggest testimony builders about the gospel have come from learning experiences I've had with people we aren't members of our church.  I had another one of those moments this weekend.

I also realized once again about how important it is to tell people how you really feel even if it seems like the hardest thing to do and even if you know the response might not be what you want to hear.  If you want things to change in your life (no matter what it is) you can't just sit back and wait for it.  You have to try!  Sometimes that might mean that you have to go out of your comfort zone and let people in but you have to give them a chance, and you have to be ballsy if it's something or someone you care that much about.  I know that it's easier said than done but I can attest that holding things in or putting things off will never get you the results you want.  It will be hard but even if things don't turn out the way you want them to after you've made your move, later down the road it will become one of the best things you ever did for yourself because you will have gotten rid of the chains that have been holding you captive, worried, angry, fearful or sad for so long. You can be free of that! You can move on. We just have to not let fear get in the way of trying for the things we want.  I know it's hard.  

Let's just all get a little weird and uncomfortable this week and say or do that something that we've wanted to do for a while.  K!? ;)

Life is so short! I have an idea of where I want to be in life and I get distracted and discouraged quite a bit.  But I was also reminded this weekend from a good friend that we really are just doing the best we can with what we have.  Sure, we can always do a little better and try a little harder but this life on Earth is an amazing gift.  We only get to do it once and I for sure want to make it as great as it can be.  If you've found yourself in a rut lately, held back or let down by some of the many screwy things of this world, take a a few minutes to stop, look at the stars, breathe, and realize that there are so many great things out there.  Crappy things will happen, drama will happen, things will get in the way of your goals, you might have to clean up some messes that you'd rather not have to but the Earth will keep turning.  Life will go on!  It's really up to us to make the most of it with what we have.  Figure out what you want.  Make it happen.  Stay positive.  I've said it once and I'll say it again.. Things can't suck forever. 

If you're worried about how you're doing and think about it often then I promise that you're already doing pretty OK :)  

Never stop trying for the things you want.
(unless the thing you want is a specific boy or girl and you've told them you love them and they don't reciprocate. If that's the case, hunny, you best move on to the next.  No one likes a crazy creeper.)

Oh, and a few photo treats for you from the weekend:

yes, I can kick high.

If you only knew how much you couldn't see us in this selfie before I edited it.  haha.  Lava is one of a kind.  Motels have to advertise that they have staples like "color TV" and "Private Full baths." WTH, right?!